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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
histrionic jap den
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Vigorous misunderstood pervert
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
Nubile office
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Drab mentally impaired filthpig
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
spectacular insanely creepy round eye
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
comical bright dragon stage
  04/30/21
...
sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
comical bright dragon stage
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
histrionic jap den
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Vigorous misunderstood pervert
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
comical bright dragon stage
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Vigorous misunderstood pervert
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Free-loading Cerebral University Dingle Berry
  04/30/21
...
Beta 180 Mediation Sanctuary
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
odious trailer park headpube
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
...
galvanic house
  04/30/21
...
Chartreuse Nursing Home
  04/30/21
...
Unhinged halford tank
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Snowy appetizing site
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Supple Marketing Idea
  04/30/21
...
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...
Stimulating cream rehab
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FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
Dark Provocative Church
  04/30/21
...
Talented Theater Black Woman
  04/30/21
...
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
galvanic house
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
Talented Theater Black Woman
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Talented Theater Black Woman
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor
  04/30/21
...
Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor
  04/30/21
...
glittery faggotry
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Umber mind-boggling gunner regret
  04/30/21
...
irradiated organic girlfriend legend
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
histrionic jap den
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Filthy piazza chad
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Vigorous misunderstood pervert
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
ruby lay gaping
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
Insane address cuck
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor
  04/30/21
...
irradiated organic girlfriend legend
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
marvelous nibblets location
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Swollen hall
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Umber mind-boggling gunner regret
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Swollen hall
  04/30/21
...
comical bright dragon stage
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Stimulating cream rehab
  04/30/21
...
arousing saffron resort pisswyrm
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Sick Topaz Gay Wizard
  04/30/21
...
electric range corn cake
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Cerise Federal Puppy Sex Offender
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Low-t Forum
  04/30/21
Wow
Cerise Federal Puppy Sex Offender
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Low-t Forum
  04/30/21
...
insecure beady-eyed background story death wish
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Vigorous misunderstood pervert
  04/30/21
...
Soggy native
  04/30/21
...
Angry menage
  02/22/22
...
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  06/22/22
...
Beta 180 Mediation Sanctuary
  04/30/21
titcr.
irradiated organic girlfriend legend
  04/30/21
180
Soggy native
  04/30/21
...
galvanic house
  04/30/21
...
Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef
  04/30/21
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Angry menage
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
galvanic house
  04/30/21
how
Umber mind-boggling gunner regret
  04/30/21
...
useless bawdyhouse selfie
  06/22/22
...
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
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Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef
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slate talking coffee pot step-uncle's house
  06/01/21
...
Angry menage
  02/22/22
this is incredible
slate talking coffee pot step-uncle's house
  02/22/22
...
Angry menage
  02/25/22
...
Magical contagious meetinghouse queen of the night
  05/04/22
wow
duck-like green garrison
  06/22/22
...
Soggy native
  06/22/22
...
Bearded Ultramarine Multi-billionaire
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
Swashbuckling Internal Respiration Base
  04/30/21
...
glittery faggotry
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Passionate Puce Ladyboy Church Building
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
hateful brunch
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
Aggressive Dun Casino
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
Vermilion Jet-lagged Plaza
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Cracking heaven
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Tantric Coldplay Fan
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef
  04/30/21
...
Angry menage
  04/30/21
...
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
Low-t Forum
  04/30/21
...
Angry menage
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
Fishy submissive toilet seat national
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
What’s that
yellow theatre jewess
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
Concupiscible wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
galvanic house
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Frisky bronze idea he suggested
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Frisky bronze idea he suggested
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
garnet crotch nowag
  04/30/21
I am gay
stubborn big tanning salon
  04/30/21
great thread
Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Razzle-dazzle Associate
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
ruby lay gaping
  04/30/21
...
ruby lay gaping
  05/02/21
...
ruby lay gaping
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
Concupiscible wrinkle
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
electric range corn cake
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
histrionic jap den
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
white spot travel guidebook
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: histrionic jap den

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Vigorous misunderstood pervert

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: Nubile office

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Drab mentally impaired filthpig

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: spectacular insanely creepy round eye
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: comical bright dragon stage

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: comical bright dragon stage

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: histrionic jap den

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Vigorous misunderstood pervert

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: comical bright dragon stage

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Vigorous misunderstood pervert

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Free-loading Cerebral University Dingle Berry

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Beta 180 Mediation Sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: odious trailer park headpube

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: galvanic house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Chartreuse Nursing Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: Unhinged halford tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Snowy appetizing site

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Supple Marketing Idea

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: arousing saffron resort pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Stimulating cream rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Dark Provocative Church

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Talented Theater Black Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: marvelous nibblets location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: insecure beady-eyed background story death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: heady house-broken space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: galvanic house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: useless bawdyhouse selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Talented Theater Black Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Talented Theater Black Woman

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: glittery faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Umber mind-boggling gunner regret

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: irradiated organic girlfriend legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: histrionic jap den

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Filthy piazza chad

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Exhilarant grizzly liquid oxygen whorehouse

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Vigorous misunderstood pervert

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: ruby lay gaping

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: Insane address cuck

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: sapphire fiercely-loyal rigor

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: irradiated organic girlfriend legend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: marvelous nibblets location

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Swollen hall

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Umber mind-boggling gunner regret

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Swollen hall

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: comical bright dragon stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Stimulating cream rehab

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: arousing saffron resort pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Sick Topaz Gay Wizard

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: electric range corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Cerise Federal Puppy Sex Offender

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Low-t Forum

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Cerise Federal Puppy Sex Offender

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Low-t Forum

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: insecure beady-eyed background story death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Vigorous misunderstood pervert

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: Soggy native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377415)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Angry menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: duck-like green garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Beta 180 Mediation Sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: irradiated organic girlfriend legend

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: Soggy native

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: galvanic house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376589)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Angry menage

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: galvanic house

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Umber mind-boggling gunner regret

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: useless bawdyhouse selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: slate talking coffee pot step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: wonderful glassy stock car crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: slate talking coffee pot step-uncle's house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Angry menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: slate talking coffee pot step-uncle's house

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Angry menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44032706)



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Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Magical contagious meetinghouse queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: duck-like green garrison

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: Soggy native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Bearded Ultramarine Multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Swashbuckling Internal Respiration Base

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: glittery faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Passionate Puce Ladyboy Church Building

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: hateful brunch

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Aggressive Dun Casino

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: Vermilion Jet-lagged Plaza

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Cracking heaven

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Tantric Coldplay Fan

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Angry menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Low-t Forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Angry menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Fishy submissive toilet seat national

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: yellow theatre jewess

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: galvanic house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Frisky bronze idea he suggested

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Frisky bronze idea he suggested

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: garnet crotch nowag

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: stubborn big tanning salon

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Copper bisexual ticket booth roast beef

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Associate

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: ruby lay gaping

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: ruby lay gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: ruby lay gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: Concupiscible wrinkle

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: electric range corn cake

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: histrionic jap den

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: white spot travel guidebook

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2),#49827363)