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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness
  04/24/15
...
Salmon chapel
  04/24/15
...
Thriller aquamarine death wish
  04/24/15
...
Ungodly Ape
  04/24/15
did this today
Balding orchid abode
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
stubborn narrow-minded black woman
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Cerebral french partner
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
fantasy-prone copper spot wrinkle
  10/22/15
...
ultramarine theatre
  10/22/15
...
Cobalt locale sweet tailpipe
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
rose lodge
  10/22/15
...
disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Ruddy glittery parlour
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Ruddy glittery parlour
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness
  05/16/16
...
pearly sick space regret
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Aromatic public bath
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Seedy turquoise house private investor
  12/28/16
...
pearly sick space regret
  11/11/20
...
dashing primrose skinny woman
  07/26/24
...
Azure out-of-control immigrant
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: Salmon chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Thriller aquamarine death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Ungodly Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Balding orchid abode

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: stubborn narrow-minded black woman

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Cerebral french partner

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: fantasy-prone copper spot wrinkle

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: ultramarine theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Cobalt locale sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: rose lodge

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Ruddy glittery parlour

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Ruddy glittery parlour

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: disturbing hairraiser deer antler messiness

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: pearly sick space regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Aromatic public bath

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Seedy turquoise house private investor

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: pearly sick space regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: dashing primrose skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Azure out-of-control immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2)#49414142)