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a day in the life of a Snail: an original XO Choose Your Own Adventure Novel

You don't have any work today because you basically only wor...
Irate Ticket Booth
  12/29/15
b!
heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit
  12/29/15
C
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
c
aromatic splenetic menage
  12/29/15
a
Brindle 180 shitlib genital piercing
  12/29/15
a
Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena
  12/29/15
Next chapter please
heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit
  12/29/15
I can', A & B ar tied :(
Irate Ticket Booth
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
Fine I change my vote to A.
heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit
  12/29/15
a provides nutrition and wont let you starve
multi-colored field
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
?
multi-colored field
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would fe...
Irate Ticket Booth
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
c for sure
multi-colored field
  12/29/15
C
Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena
  12/29/15
c
razzmatazz forum pozpig
  12/29/15
Xo
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  12/29/15
chaturbate
anal garrison voyeur
  12/30/15
C!
heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit
  12/29/15
NEXT CHAPTER
heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit
  12/29/15
everyone in this thread unzips.
slap-happy talented deer antler whorehouse
  12/29/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/29/15
...
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  12/29/15
Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?
razzmatazz forum pozpig
  12/29/15
no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend
glittery alcoholic tattoo turdskin
  12/29/15
lol ouch
fragrant unholy nowag
  12/30/15
he is busy doing tinychat
multi-colored field
  12/29/15
...
bright site lettuce
  12/30/15
...
fantasy-prone resort
  12/30/15
Topic has amazing potential.
motley fat ankles karate
  12/30/15
You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some ...
Irate Ticket Booth
  12/30/15
2
fragrant unholy nowag
  12/30/15
I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER s...
motley fat ankles karate
  12/30/15
police
anal garrison voyeur
  12/30/15
1
Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena
  12/30/15
lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  12/30/15
...
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  01/02/16
4 and 180
razzmatazz forum pozpig
  12/30/15
Wake up and post please.
razzmatazz forum pozpig
  12/30/15
...
cordovan rough-skinned tank
  12/30/15
18000000000000000000000000000000000
passionate sepia meetinghouse coldplay fan
  01/11/16
...
Offensive trip sanctuary yarmulke
  11/05/20
next chapter please!
flushed school new version
  11/05/20
...
bungulator
  12/13/25
...
violent police squad
  11/05/20


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:54 PM
Author: Irate Ticket Booth

You don't have any work today because you basically only work two days out of seven at most. Instead, you are at the local grocery store, pondering how to use your EBT card.

Snow falls to the ground outside as you wish you could drink yourself silly, fall into a snow pile, and never wake up. The store has a pungent odor that one naturally associates with inner-city grocery stores.

Everything in the store reminds you that CAPITALISM is bullshit FRAUD AND LIES where proles fucking SCAVENGE to live when faggot parasite bankers and lawyers and eating out to celebrate RAPING this country and everyone in it. Kill all elites by tearing their limbs off with horses and their families too.

Anyways, you only have enough remaining on your EBT to purchase one of the three products on sale:

a) six cans of turkey chili

b) two liters of diet coke

c) a bunch of bananas

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480960)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit

b!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480979)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481594)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:55 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480970)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: aromatic splenetic menage

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480973)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:56 PM
Author: Brindle 180 shitlib genital piercing

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480975)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 9:57 PM
Author: Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena

a

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29480989)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:11 PM
Author: heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit

Next chapter please

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481133)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:15 PM
Author: Irate Ticket Booth

I can', A & B ar tied :(

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481164)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:20 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481212)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:21 PM
Author: heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit

Fine I change my vote to A.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:22 PM
Author: multi-colored field

a

provides nutrition and wont let you starve

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481222)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:23 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481225)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: multi-colored field

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481285)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481289)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:30 PM
Author: Irate Ticket Booth

You lug the turkey chili home as you wonder what it would feel like if you shoved it all up your ass. Your death would be a slightly less humiliating than your actual "life".

Once you get home, you throw it all and start smacking it open with your broken can opener. It's broken because you got it from the Dollar Tree a year ago and you use it all the fucking time because you're too fucking depressed to cook FUCK OBAMA'S AMERICA.

After microwaving it, you douse it in tabasco sauce that you STOLE from Chipotle because LLJL fuck those shitlib faggots, it's so 180 to go at peak hour and just fucking steal sauce. You hope you get arrested one day because at least jail provides life structure.

While eating, you have four tabs open on the computer. None of them are XO. Which do you go on while eating your SHITchili

a) facebook

b) ashemaletv

c) chaturbate

d) drudgereport

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481288)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481296)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:32 PM
Author: multi-colored field

c for sure

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:33 PM
Author: Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena

C

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481311)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:56 PM
Author: razzmatazz forum pozpig

c

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481436)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:16 PM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank

Xo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481600)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:58 AM
Author: anal garrison voyeur

chaturbate

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482189)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:31 PM
Author: heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit

C!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481291)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 10:51 PM
Author: heady misunderstood roommate orchestra pit

NEXT CHAPTER

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481403)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:00 PM
Author: slap-happy talented deer antler whorehouse

everyone in this thread unzips.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481469)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:15 PM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481596)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:14 PM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481589)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:33 PM
Author: razzmatazz forum pozpig

Did they turn off Snailmo's electricity?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481713)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:39 PM
Author: glittery alcoholic tattoo turdskin

no, i think he found a job, and a girlfriend

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481748)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:41 AM
Author: fragrant unholy nowag

lol ouch

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482097)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 29th, 2015 11:47 PM
Author: multi-colored field

he is busy doing tinychat

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29481804)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:38 AM
Author: bright site lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482070)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:39 AM
Author: fantasy-prone resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482079)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 12:40 AM
Author: motley fat ankles karate

Topic has amazing potential.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:01 AM
Author: Irate Ticket Booth

You log into chaturbate in order to watch a session of some dude that you've been following since you found his pictures on a /pol/ thread describing how DEGENERATE transexuals are. JFC shitlibs are really disgusting just trying to shove all of this trans shit down our throat. fuck Obama, we should drag out all media FAGGOTS from their home like that 180000 scene in the Dark Knight Arises where Bane39 takes over Gotham.

You shovel turkey chili in your mouth and you can't help stop thinking about Benzo's asshole and retching, so you put it away for a bit.

Instead, you decide to FURIOUSLY stroke your SPERMWYRM to the long-haired crossdresser on the stream as he seductively WIGGLES his puckered BUTTHOLE.

It is enjoyable and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, until something horrifying pops out of his shirt. He has BREASTS now. Your wyrm reddens and shrinkens as you realize that he is now identifying as a "she" and has become taking hormones. In disgust, you throw off your Beats!(tm) headphones (they were a gift) and close the window. You zip up your pants angrily as yet another fine day RUINED by libs.

You decide to research more possible career paths that you will never accomplish while you finish your chili. What do you research?

1) Military

2) Police

3) Education

4) Computer Science

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482203)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: fragrant unholy nowag

2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482210)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:03 AM
Author: motley fat ankles karate

I choose 2, sounds like a great opportunity to bash BOOMER scum.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482211)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:08 AM
Author: anal garrison voyeur

police

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482227)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:09 AM
Author: Outnumbered Pisswyrm Striped Hyena

1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482232)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 1:49 AM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank

lol r u like a genderfuluid snail or sth

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482337)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 2nd, 2016 2:50 PM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29505583)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 2:02 AM
Author: razzmatazz forum pozpig

4 and 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29482377)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:26 AM
Author: razzmatazz forum pozpig

Wake up and post please.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29483717)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2015 11:10 PM
Author: cordovan rough-skinned tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29488970)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 11th, 2016 10:55 AM
Author: passionate sepia meetinghouse coldplay fan

18000000000000000000000000000000000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#29570485)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:16 AM
Author: Offensive trip sanctuary yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#41284039)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:22 AM
Author: flushed school new version

next chapter please!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#41284068)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 13th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: bungulator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#49506318)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2020 8:34 AM
Author: violent police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3082672&forum_id=2)#41284137)