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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/03/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
ungodly aromatic parlour
  12/03/18
ty!
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Laughsome impressive sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
...
Judgmental base deer antler
  12/24/21
...
mauve filthy resort rigor
  12/03/18
...
purple national
  12/03/18
...
Exciting institution pozpig
  12/03/18
...
Multi-colored forum
  12/03/18
...
Laughsome impressive sweet tailpipe
  12/03/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/07/18
...
brilliant hot chad faggotry
  12/07/18
...
olive puppy idea he suggested
  12/07/18
...
Unholy Set Therapy
  12/07/18
...
sapphire soul-stirring milk toaster
  12/07/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/14/18
...
Exhilarant sepia cuckoldry party of the first part
  12/14/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/18
...
mauve filthy resort rigor
  12/24/18
...
Translucent property
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Drab galvanic degenerate library
  12/24/18
120
Light Theater Stage Wagecucks
  12/24/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/18
...
Light Theater Stage Wagecucks
  12/24/18
...
yapping snowy theatre haunted graveyard
  12/24/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/18
...
Red thriller stage
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Canary adventurous step-uncle's house sandwich
  12/24/18
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/16/21
...
Crusty razzmatazz double fault
  12/24/18
...
Irradiated generalized bond feces
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Self-centered big stage
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Awkward nibblets police squad
  07/01/19
...
mauve filthy resort rigor
  07/01/19
...
mauve filthy resort rigor
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/10/19
getting close...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
...
disturbing half-breed chapel
  12/24/19
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
...
Violet address juggernaut
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
abnormal business firm famous landscape painting
  12/24/19
...
irate vivacious station place of business
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Canary adventurous step-uncle's house sandwich
  12/24/19
lol
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
This
Judgmental base deer antler
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Talking twinkling striped hyena
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
...
nighttime sienna boiling water trump supporter
  12/24/19
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Judgmental base deer antler
  12/24/19
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/19
...
Chartreuse Church Building Kitty
  12/24/19
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/15/20
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/23/20
...
supple locus
  12/24/20
It's time.
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/24/20
...
olive puppy idea he suggested
  12/24/20
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/16/21
...
yapping snowy theatre haunted graveyard
  12/16/21
...
supple locus
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/20/21
Lmao
Dashing Poppy Fortuitous Meteor
  12/20/21
...
Awkward nibblets police squad
  12/22/21
...
Dashing Poppy Fortuitous Meteor
  12/22/21
...
talented lemon really tough guy
  12/24/21
...
Judgmental base deer antler
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: ungodly aromatic parlour

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Laughsome impressive sweet tailpipe

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Judgmental base deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: mauve filthy resort rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: purple national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Exciting institution pozpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Multi-colored forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Laughsome impressive sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: brilliant hot chad faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: olive puppy idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Unholy Set Therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: sapphire soul-stirring milk toaster



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Exhilarant sepia cuckoldry party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: mauve filthy resort rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Translucent property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Drab galvanic degenerate library

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Light Theater Stage Wagecucks

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Light Theater Stage Wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: yapping snowy theatre haunted graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Red thriller stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Canary adventurous step-uncle's house sandwich

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Crusty razzmatazz double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Irradiated generalized bond feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Self-centered big stage

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: mauve filthy resort rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: mauve filthy resort rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: disturbing half-breed chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Violet address juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: abnormal business firm famous landscape painting

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: irate vivacious station place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Canary adventurous step-uncle's house sandwich

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Judgmental base deer antler

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Talking twinkling striped hyena

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: nighttime sienna boiling water trump supporter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Judgmental base deer antler

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Chartreuse Church Building Kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: supple locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: olive puppy idea he suggested



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: yapping snowy theatre haunted graveyard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: supple locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Dashing Poppy Fortuitous Meteor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Awkward nibblets police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Dashing Poppy Fortuitous Meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: talented lemon really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Judgmental base deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2)#49538706)