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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
umber mind-boggling voyeur
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Flesh diverse indirect expression community account
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
anal confused state
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
180 Lodge Skinny Woman
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
Flickering whorehouse tattoo
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
Stirring plum pit nowag
  04/30/21
...
topaz cuck
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
Stirring plum pit nowag
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
umber mind-boggling voyeur
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Flesh diverse indirect expression community account
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
Stirring plum pit nowag
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Flesh diverse indirect expression community account
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Smoky son of senegal
  04/30/21
...
hyperactive point
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
maize sanctuary yarmulke
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
...
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
...
Cream psychic
  04/30/21
...
Opaque trust fund
  04/30/21
...
Cheese-eating rigpig meetinghouse
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Slimy hunting ground
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Charismatic nudist clown orchestra pit
  04/30/21
...
green jewess
  04/30/21
...
Poppy international law enforcement agency principal's office
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
transparent corner black woman
  04/30/21
...
Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma
  04/30/21
...
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
Scarlet azn messiness
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
topaz cuck
  04/30/21
...
Thriller cruise ship useless brakes
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
topaz cuck
  04/30/21
...
heady spruce hissy fit halford
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend
  04/30/21
...
Pearl Insane Wagecucks
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
umber mind-boggling voyeur
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
galvanic pozpig
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
galvanic pozpig
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
free-loading odious hall nibblets
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
galvanic pozpig
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Flesh diverse indirect expression community account
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Razzle-dazzle White Menage
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
slate alpha field
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
topaz cuck
  04/30/21
...
Pearl Insane Wagecucks
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
dead rehab hairy legs
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
flatulent masturbator reading party
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
flatulent masturbator reading party
  04/30/21
...
Stirring plum pit nowag
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Poppy international law enforcement agency principal's office
  04/30/21
...
green jewess
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Light Exhilarant Elastic Band Therapy
  04/30/21
...
Fiercely-loyal coldplay fan mad cow disease
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
territorial salmon school cafeteria
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
metal grizzly water buffalo
  04/30/21
Wow
territorial salmon school cafeteria
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
metal grizzly water buffalo
  04/30/21
...
Scarlet azn messiness
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Flesh diverse indirect expression community account
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...
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hyperactive point
  04/30/21
titcr.
Pearl Insane Wagecucks
  04/30/21
180
insanely creepy potus
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...
Cream psychic
  04/30/21
...
Thriller cruise ship useless brakes
  04/30/21
holy shit
lascivious maroon legal warrant
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Cream psychic
  04/30/21
how
Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend
  04/30/21
...
Fuchsia cowardly windowlicker
  06/22/22
...
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
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Onyx Giraffe
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Thriller cruise ship useless brakes
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Yapping amber coffee pot
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...
lascivious maroon legal warrant
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this is incredible
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  05/04/22
wow
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  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
zombie-like amethyst party of the first part
  04/30/21
...
heady spruce hissy fit halford
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Rose violent athletic conference
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
embarrassed to the bone university
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
gaped garnet church laser beams
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
puce den
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
carmine spot
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
razzle legend locus
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Thriller cruise ship useless brakes
  04/30/21
...
lascivious maroon legal warrant
  04/30/21
...
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
...
metal grizzly water buffalo
  04/30/21
...
lascivious maroon legal warrant
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
Greedy aphrodisiac corn cake
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
What’s that
bat-shit-crazy box office pocket flask
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
Ruddy milk
  04/30/21
...
Cream psychic
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Fantasy-prone concupiscible dog poop
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Fantasy-prone concupiscible dog poop
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
cracking bronze crotch
  04/30/21
I am gay
duck-like house puppy
  04/30/21
great thread
Thriller cruise ship useless brakes
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
blue unholy famous landscape painting
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Razzle-dazzle White Menage
  04/30/21
...
Razzle-dazzle White Menage
  05/02/21
...
Razzle-dazzle White Menage
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
Ruddy milk
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Fiercely-loyal coldplay fan mad cow disease
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
umber mind-boggling voyeur
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
avocado twisted tanning salon
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: umber mind-boggling voyeur

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Flesh diverse indirect expression community account

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: anal confused state

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: 180 Lodge Skinny Woman

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: Flickering whorehouse tattoo
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: Stirring plum pit nowag

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: topaz cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: Stirring plum pit nowag

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: umber mind-boggling voyeur

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Flesh diverse indirect expression community account

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Stirring plum pit nowag

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Flesh diverse indirect expression community account

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Smoky son of senegal

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: hyperactive point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: maize sanctuary yarmulke

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Ruddy milk

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Cream psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Opaque trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: Cheese-eating rigpig meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Slimy hunting ground

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Charismatic nudist clown orchestra pit

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: green jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Poppy international law enforcement agency principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: transparent corner black woman

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Ruddy milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: dead rehab hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Scarlet azn messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: Low-t Mauve Pistol Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Cream psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Fuchsia cowardly windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Beady-eyed alcoholic dilemma

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: topaz cuck

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Thriller cruise ship useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: topaz cuck

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: heady spruce hissy fit halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Pearl Insane Wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: umber mind-boggling voyeur

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: galvanic pozpig

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: galvanic pozpig

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: free-loading odious hall nibblets

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: galvanic pozpig

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Flesh diverse indirect expression community account

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle White Menage

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: slate alpha field

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376217)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: topaz cuck

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: Pearl Insane Wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: dead rehab hairy legs

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: flatulent masturbator reading party

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376306)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: flatulent masturbator reading party

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: Stirring plum pit nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Poppy international law enforcement agency principal's office

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376331)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: green jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Light Exhilarant Elastic Band Therapy

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal coldplay fan mad cow disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: territorial salmon school cafeteria

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: metal grizzly water buffalo

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: territorial salmon school cafeteria

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: metal grizzly water buffalo

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Scarlet azn messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Flesh diverse indirect expression community account

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: insanely creepy potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: milky school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722509)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: hyperactive point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Pearl Insane Wagecucks

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: insanely creepy potus

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Cream psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Thriller cruise ship useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Cream psychic

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Carnelian Blathering Address Organic Girlfriend

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Fuchsia cowardly windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: Ruddy milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Yapping amber coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376866)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Onyx Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Thriller cruise ship useless brakes



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Yapping amber coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Yapping amber coffee pot

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44032706)



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Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: fragrant bipolar site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: milky school

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: insanely creepy potus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Sooty bawdyhouse travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: zombie-like amethyst party of the first part

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: heady spruce hissy fit halford



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Rose violent athletic conference

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: embarrassed to the bone university

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: gaped garnet church laser beams

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: puce den

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: carmine spot

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: razzle legend locus

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Thriller cruise ship useless brakes

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Ruddy milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: metal grizzly water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: lascivious maroon legal warrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Greedy aphrodisiac corn cake

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Ruddy milk

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376699)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: bat-shit-crazy box office pocket flask

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: Ruddy milk

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Cream psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42376800)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone concupiscible dog poop

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Fantasy-prone concupiscible dog poop

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: cracking bronze crotch

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: duck-like house puppy

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42377484)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Thriller cruise ship useless brakes

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: blue unholy famous landscape painting

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42378186)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle White Menage

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle White Menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Razzle-dazzle White Menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: Ruddy milk

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal coldplay fan mad cow disease

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: umber mind-boggling voyeur

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: avocado twisted tanning salon

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2).#49827363)