Just think about how much you want to rape her the whole time and she will be able to "sense" your sexual "aura" and be drawn to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48117538)

Peak poast

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48117620)

SKIP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48118953)

i'm not sure what i expected, but it wasn't that. apple picking fucking sucks, that's no surprise, but we spent a long time talking at a wine tent thing beforehand and at a cutesy town coffee shop after. took a while to find her, one-armed awkward date hug, some initial discomfort in trying to find a non-alcoholic drink. she was pretty and reserved, we laughed and joked easily, but then it shifted. dating is going to be extremely hard for me in unusual ways. somehow her frustrations with entering middle age came up, which led to a conversation about making giant life changes to live more intentionally. she joked that i was too young to have a midlife crisis, and i let out all my fucking baggage. death, alcoholism, regrets, emptiness, and so on. she responded much more... openly than i expected. she had evidently been experiencing oddly similar feelings, and seemed to be addressing them through some sort of buddhist-derived new age something, but that is at least something to actually talk about. (i was in the fight of my life not to start telling her about her own religious beliefs.) i'm all in at this point. all the nervousness that i felt was out. there was physical affection, eyes almost never broke contact, and we really talked. i take it something happened to her recently, maybe a divorce -- phrases like "*we* bought this house" when she was talking about her dead cat, describing her attempt to transfer abroad from work to make a clean break, lot of loneliness in her stories and some explicit lamentation that making friends even in your 30's is hard, other connections even more so. we laughed more as the date when on and tension broke, but it was awkward when we parted. she said she sincerely liked talking and hadn't met anyone like me before. i told her i enjoyed her company, found her sweet and actually sincere, in a way that required some real vulnerability on her part. the most masculine thing i did was probably just saying firmly at the end, "i really like you. i want to see you again." she said yes but with some pause, we exchanged numbers, and i suggested a museum date. she got flustered looking for times on her phone, i said we'd figure it out. feel free to chat until then. we didn't kiss but hugged very deeply. i think we'll see each other again.

remember that i'm not interested in meaningless sex. i think i could really, really like her, and potentially do want to date her long-term. i think we're both on the same page on what we want in life right now (companionship, figuring out how to live pleasantly and well after disastrous early adulthoods, intent on avoiding children). i think i would grow to find her mannerisms and ways of speaking very endearing. i felt extremely relieved to just get all of my shit out there too, so that melted a ton of apprehension and fear. plus i found her attractive and she had a really hot ass, which was hidden from her app photos.

in sum, this business shrew was rather odd, but i really want to date her and make her happy. i think that would make me happy as well. this is the gayest thing i've ever poasted on xo. but... i'm not sure how this could have gone better.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48120541)

You can't just "emotionally connect." Women need a SEXUAL CONNECTION ironically more than men do

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48120684)

> if it served some psychological need for you, then it is what it is

that might be the best i can hope for--if radical self-disclosure was a need, i learned a lesson about doing so suddenly in such a self-indulgent way. maybe more important in the future, i have a better idea of what can happen if i try to play that, such that it won't even be a temptation in the future. tried it, didn't work, no need to again.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48121294)

women do not want you to dump your baggage on them no matter how they pretend to respond in the moment. you're done here sorry

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48121220)

its sad

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48121229)

most of my best outcomes have come from bending or breaking my own rules. but you should be prepared to follow best practices. for example, getting deep and emotional on date 1 is almost always bad. maybe this was one of the rare exceptions, but if it was it probably would have ended with more than a firm hug. you should avoid trauma dumping.

all things considered this seems like a huge win after a long hiatus. most dates suck. you should be encouraged. buy yeah, try to play it a little cool.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48122306)

Women say this to every guy, lol, and they both mean it and have no idea what they're saying- at the same time. I.e. Just like everything that comes out of a woman's mouth, if there is profundity it is completely un-backed by any soul at all, like a robot randomly spitting out words and once in a while some combination of syllables sounds poetic. Basically you know how libs like to say "there's no there there" Well with women "there's no person there." It's all just completely meaningless and you need to absorb that.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5599290&forum_id=2).#48122340)