Evan39 stands outside holding a damp folder labeled “Lo$$ Prevention.”]

EVAN39 (nervous):

I was told you’d seen something. Something behind Aisle X. They said you mapped it.

MAINLINING (evenly):

Mapped? No, friend. You don’t map Aisle X. You comply with it.

(Evan flips open the folder. Inside: an employee write-up, soaked in what may be Red Bull.)

EVAN39:

This is from the night the lights flickered. Right before Tabitha fell asleep with her eyes open. You left this note in dry storage.

(reads)

“$hredding won’t save you ;)”

You wrote that?

MAINLINING (leans forward slightly):

Do you know why the note was wet, Evan?

EVAN39:

There was a leak from the mop sink.

MAINLINING:

No. That wasn’t water. That was vinegar runoff.

From Boom’s chair.

(Evan twitches.)

EVAN39:

Look—people are saying you had access. That you rerouted inventory. That you saw... something in the deli cooler. Something... breathing.

MAINLINING (smirking):

Is that what they say?

EVAN39:

I just want to know what you saw. Please.

(Mainlining closes his eyes.)

MAINLINING:

It wasn’t breathing, Evan. It was... billing.

It was returning items that were never purchased.

Creating SKUs from voided transactions.

EVAN39 (whispers):

That’s not possible.

MAINLINING (opening his eyes):

What’s the expiration date on hummu$?

EVAN39 (confused):

It varies. Some say two weeks.

MAINLINING (grinning):

And yet… yours expired yesterday.

You didn’t buy it, Evan. You inherited it.

[A long pause. Somewhere in the distance, a PA system sputters on. Aisle announcement in distorted tone:]

“Clean-up in Aisle… all of them.”

EVAN39:

Why did you stop clocking in?

MAINLINING:

Because the clock started counting backward.

EVAN39:

What’s in Aisle X?

MAINLINING (leaning in, calm):

The returns desk. But the items... are people.

And you’re next in line.

[Mainlining slowly lifts a laminated name tag: EVAN.]

EVAN39 (staggering back):

That’s mine. How did you—?

MAINLINING:

You left it in the breakroom. Right after Tabitha told you to “clock out if you’re feeling cute.”

You did.

But you never left.

[PA System: “Performance review initiated. Please remain still while judgment processes.”]

MAINLINING (final whisper):

Don’t worry. You’ll like Aisle X.

Everyone’s quiet there.

They’re very… polite.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5713175&forum_id=2).#48862202)