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Evan39 here, Quiet Quitting Meets FMLA: Jerry’s Untouchable
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/09/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/18/24 |
| heady immigrant | 12/31/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/26/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/29/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 03/01/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/11/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/13/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/14/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/14/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/15/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 11/27/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 12/17/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 12/19/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 12/31/24 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/02/25 |
| hairraiser feces | 01/03/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/03/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/03/25 |
| hairraiser feces | 01/03/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/03/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/03/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 03/02/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/26/25 |
| Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams | 01/28/25 |
| Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine | 03/17/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: November 9th, 2024 12:15 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams Jerry, our store’s “resident burnout”, hasn’t worked a full shift in over a year.
FMLA buttressed with ADA protections is his personal get-out-of-jail-free card, and now he’s layered Quiet Quitting on top like it’s the cherry on his legally protected sundae.
Every morning, he clocks in, plops down at customer service, and immediately opens Candy Crush. Any attempt to nudge him toward actual work is met with the same smug routine: “Legally, I’m protected under FMLA and ADA, friend. Push me harder, and I’ll sue your gay-faggot-ass for retaliation.”
I’m not a lawyer, so I back off. ADA? FMLA? What are those? I don't know, but I don't want to get sued :(.
Today was peak Jerry. The returns line snaked through the store, a festival of rage featuring Karens and coupon clippers waving their receipts like battle flags. Meanwhile, Jerry leaned back, tossing Skittles into his mouth, occasionally muttering: “Y’all need to chill. Not my problem, friends.”
When I begged him to help, he sighed dramatically: “Evan, I’m already doing the bare minimum. Legally, that’s enough.”
Cue my usual trip to HR. Tabitha, perched like Jabba the Hutt behind her fortress of fast-food wrappers, gave me her signature death glare. “Evan, quiet quitting isn’t a crime. It’s work-life balance. Maybe you should stop being such a little bitch and try it sometime.” She then returned to her true passion: using company time to catch up on General Hospital.
Meanwhile, Keisha shouted from the bakery section, where she’d stationed herself with a plate of “expired” cupcakes: “Don’t let him work you too hard, Evan! Quiet quitting is self-care, friend!” She punctuated this by raising her fork in solidarity, crumbs flying everywhere.
By the end of my shift, I was drenched in sweat from covering Jerry’s station, my head pounding as I explained to Karen #93 why “No, ma’am, we don’t accept returns for items bought in 2017.” Jerry, of course, strolled out five minutes early, tossing a lazy wave over his shoulder: “Don’t work too hard, Evan. Legally, you’re covered if you die on the clock.”
Leaning against the mop bucket, I whispered: “Yes, friend. This is fine.” |
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Date: November 18th, 2024 11:43 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48354637) |
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Date: December 31st, 2024 2:12 AM Author: heady immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48504031) |
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Date: January 26th, 2025 4:04 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48590397) |
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Date: January 29th, 2025 5:39 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48600401) |
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Date: March 1st, 2025 1:40 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48705006) |
Date: November 11th, 2024 8:18 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48321538) |
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Date: November 13th, 2024 7:03 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48330291) |
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Date: November 14th, 2024 12:01 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48335097) |
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Date: November 14th, 2024 12:22 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48335159) |
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Date: November 15th, 2024 11:39 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48341194) |
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Date: November 27th, 2024 8:46 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48388859) |
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Date: December 17th, 2024 1:10 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48457084) |
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Date: December 19th, 2024 1:14 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48464377) |
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Date: December 31st, 2024 2:11 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48504025) |
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Date: January 2nd, 2025 11:55 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513325) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 12:07 AM Author: hairraiser feces This kind of thing is no joke, I've seen it many times. We have fat, slow minorities who get special chairs and extra "breaks" because of some bullshit ADA accommodation, lazy kids who play with their phones all day, and confused old people who don't know how to handle a basic transaction on a register that is literally designed for retards. It's all very frustrating, but it's the reality of prole workplaces these days. "It's fine," I'll say to myself. It's fine. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513343) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 12:07 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams Our Safeway Horror poasts are no "joke" or "meme" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513344) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 12:07 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams Same for our "Juris Doctor" Vance poasts. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513345) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 12:08 AM Author: hairraiser feces (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513347) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 12:09 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams Cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48513356) |
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Date: January 3rd, 2025 3:54 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48515302) |
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Date: March 2nd, 2025 12:27 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48706841) |
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Date: January 26th, 2025 1:40 PM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48591565) |
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Date: January 28th, 2025 1:07 AM Author: Chestnut Stirring Laser Beams (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48596929) |
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Date: March 17th, 2025 8:16 AM Author: Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630914&forum_id=2).#48754430) |