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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
  12/03/18
...
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
french idiot
  12/03/18
ty!
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Provocative Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/03/18
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To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
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  12/24/18
120
mind-boggling vengeful native
  12/24/18
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milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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mind-boggling vengeful native
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balding yellow rigpig stain
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cordovan aphrodisiac church building incel
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this was pretty good, nice work
cerebral know-it-all market ratface
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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twinkling hall tank
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twinkling hall tank
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Early December Bump
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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getting close...
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ding ding ding
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milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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underhanded overrated associate
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misunderstood boistinker
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gold step-uncle's house dog poop
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lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
titillating turdskin
  12/24/19
lol
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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This
Mildly Autistic Ruddy Forum People Who Are Hurt
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
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ty, labor of love
milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: french idiot

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Provocative Mad-dog Skullcap

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Ruddy Forum People Who Are Hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670143)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: twinkling hall tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343477)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: hateful erotic jap institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343484)



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Cracking crackhouse



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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: gay boiling water



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Provocative Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Drab racy halford lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Disgusting curious point reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: turquoise digit ratio travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: glittery antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Green library prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: twinkling hall tank



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Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: citrine temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: bossy slate trailer park trump supporter

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: mind-boggling vengeful native

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: mind-boggling vengeful native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle fuchsia school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Boyish Set



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: titillating turdskin

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: balding yellow rigpig stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: cordovan aphrodisiac church building incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: cerebral know-it-all market ratface

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: twinkling hall tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: twinkling hall tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Flesh hideous meetinghouse gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: underhanded overrated associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: misunderstood boistinker

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: gold step-uncle's house dog poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: titillating turdskin

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Ruddy Forum People Who Are Hurt

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Infuriating purple plaza black woman

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Very Tactful Area Tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Mildly Autistic Ruddy Forum People Who Are Hurt

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: cream roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: 180 ruby corn cake pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Disgusting curious point reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: razzle-dazzle fuchsia school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: 180 ruby corn cake pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: spectacular parlor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: milky multi-colored marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: spectacular parlor



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Fishy cumskin



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Mildly Autistic Ruddy Forum People Who Are Hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538935)