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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/03/18
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
sepia location
  12/03/18
ty!
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
blue death wish
  12/03/18
...
Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain
  12/24/21
...
Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe
  12/03/18
...
Angry boyish heaven shitlib
  12/03/18
...
buck-toothed cuckoldry pit
  12/03/18
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Saffron dilemma
  12/03/18
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blue death wish
  12/03/18
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low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/07/18
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  12/07/18
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low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/14/18
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  12/14/18
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low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/18
...
Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe
  12/24/18
...
fiercely-loyal aromatic house
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Slap-happy Plaza Macaca
  12/24/18
120
Lavender multi-colored native digit ratio
  12/24/18
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/18
...
Lavender multi-colored native digit ratio
  12/24/18
...
Grizzly university
  12/24/18
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/18
...
pea-brained domesticated toaster garrison
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
stimulating wrinkle meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/16/21
...
Glittery pearl water buffalo nursing home
  12/24/18
...
khaki insane national
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Chestnut violent corner deer antler
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  07/01/19
...
Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe
  07/01/19
...
Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/10/19
getting close...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
...
Vibrant sienna ticket booth old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
...
fragrant magical address
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
dun flatulent business firm
  12/24/19
...
gay laughsome hominid twinkling uncleanness
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
stimulating wrinkle meetinghouse
  12/24/19
lol
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
This
Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Avocado Sickened Senate Kitty
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
...
overrated depressive
  12/24/19
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain
  12/24/19
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/19
...
bearded concupiscible multi-billionaire
  12/24/19
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low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/15/20
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low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/23/20
...
awkward property
  12/24/20
It's time.
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/24/20
...
well-lubricated arousing pervert parlour
  12/24/20
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/16/21
...
Grizzly university
  12/16/21
...
awkward property
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/20/21
Lmao
Adventurous Ultramarine State Wagecucks
  12/20/21
...
low-t unhinged space juggernaut
  12/22/21
...
Adventurous Ultramarine State Wagecucks
  12/22/21
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Fishy chapel
  12/24/21
...
Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain
  12/25/23
...
FBI person
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: sepia location

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: blue death wish

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Angry boyish heaven shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: buck-toothed cuckoldry pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Saffron dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: blue death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Disturbing laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: well-lubricated arousing pervert parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: sooty idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: kink-friendly dead cruise ship kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: drab party of the first part shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: fiercely-loyal aromatic house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Slap-happy Plaza Macaca

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Lavender multi-colored native digit ratio

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Lavender multi-colored native digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Grizzly university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: pea-brained domesticated toaster garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: stimulating wrinkle meetinghouse

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Glittery pearl water buffalo nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: khaki insane national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Chestnut violent corner deer antler

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Ruby Exciting Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Vibrant sienna ticket booth old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: fragrant magical address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: dun flatulent business firm

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: gay laughsome hominid twinkling uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: stimulating wrinkle meetinghouse

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Avocado Sickened Senate Kitty

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: overrated depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: bearded concupiscible multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: awkward property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: well-lubricated arousing pervert parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Grizzly university



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Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: awkward property



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Adventurous Ultramarine State Wagecucks

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: low-t unhinged space juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Adventurous Ultramarine State Wagecucks



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Fishy chapel



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Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Sapphire Bisexual Site Stain



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Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: FBI person



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2).#49538935)