CharlesXII drawing the Battle of Austerlitz on napkins for his date
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: February 4th, 2018 9:20 AM Author: Drab crotch
*draws big line on napkin*
"The French forces were arrayed here. As you'll recall from our discussion of the Ulm Campaign over the appetizers, Napoleon had just captured a big chunk of the Austrian army and occupied the Austrian capital of Vienna, but he feigned confusion and weakness in his own ranks by intentionally evacuating the Pratzen heights"
*draws circle, labels it "PRATZEN"*
"Now here on the far right of the Allied lines, guarding the road to Olmutz, was a unit commanded by General Bagration. Remember that name, it's going to come up again later."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35319341) |
Date: February 4th, 2018 9:23 AM Author: Ebony Irradiated Friendly Grandma
"Remember that name, it's going to come up again later."
irl howled with laughter at this
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35319353) |
Date: February 4th, 2018 9:39 AM Author: Drab crotch
two hours into it, a small crowd has gathered
"...so yeah, that's pretty much how the War of the Third Coalition ended, here in the heart of Bohemia. Waitress, Czech please? No pun intended."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35319433) |
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Date: February 4th, 2018 11:54 AM Author: Drab crotch
Charles's date is hanging off his arm as they walk to his Arlington, VA apartment, running her fingers through his remaining hair. She can't wait to get him all alone.
But, to her surprise, there are two dudes in the apartment. It's mance rayder and bob woodward pu. And they're wearing britches.
"I think the best way to learn about the Treaty of Pressburg is to reenact the negotiations", Charles said. "I've invited my friends over to serve as the Austrian foreign minister Count von Cobenzl and Emperor Francis"
He then puts a three corner hat on his shocked date. "You will be playing Napoleon. Remember the crushing victory you just won, and consider what kind of concessions you can extract. If you need help, I will be role playing your foreign minister Charles Maurice de Talleyrand but lets see how much you can do on your own"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35320209) |
Date: February 4th, 2018 10:36 AM Author: Drab crotch
"OMG Becky, his war game piece for Napoleon was a slice of Italian bread with honey smeared on top, because Napoleon was from Corsica and had honeybees on his imperial crest!"
"I know - he's so smart AND creative!"
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35319703) |
Date: February 4th, 2018 1:02 PM Author: smoky office goyim
Fantastic content creartion and history lesson.
This is why I come here.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35320610) |
Date: February 4th, 2018 1:37 PM Author: Silver Supple Bawdyhouse Wagecucks
Angela looked at the directions on her phone again.
"Arrive at 2:30 pm, sharp. I only have 3 hours and we need to make every moment count."
Make every moment count? What was THAT supposed to mean, Angela thought. Was Charles thinking of...no, no, he'd made it very clear how he felt about those activities. Still, after she protested that she wanted some alone time together, he'd agreed that none of his strange lawyer friends would be around this time.
She stepped up to his apartment door and gave a knock.
"Come in, it's unlocked."
As she stepped in, Angela found herself confronted by a map...a very large map, with strange blue and red blocks on it.
https://cf.geekdo-images.com/images/pic298083_lg.jpg
"Howdy, Angela, great to see you. You mentioned wanting some alone time, so I thought we could follow-up on last week's discussion with a head-to-head board game."
Board game?, thought Angela. Charles had mentioned an interest in them, but this didn't look anything like Catan or Pandemic or even Risk.
"This," Charles said with unconcealed enthusiasm, "is Napoleon's Triumph. It's a board game specifically on the Battle of Austerlitz, and is the masterwork of Rachel Simmons."
"A girl made this?"
"Well, he was Bowen Simmons at the time, but transitioned to being a woman around 2014. Very strange, but the game is excellent. Since you were Napoleon last time, I figured I'd reverse things now and let you be the Allies. You enjoy numerical superiority, but are more limited in movement and are under pressure to attack the French."
"...Oh. But I was hoping since we're alone we might have a chance to-"
Charles interrupted her by handing her a 12-page pamphlet.
"These are the rules. You'll want to give them a close read while I prep dinner. They aren't long compared to most wargame rulesets but they're pretty dense. It'll all make sense when we start playing, trust me."
"This is splendid, Charles, really," Angela said. "But before we start, I thought maybe you'd like some wine. I brought one of the bottles I won at the church raffle!"
"That's great, but alcohol is poison."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35320826) |
Date: February 5th, 2018 12:35 AM Author: soul-stirring nowag potus
Will CharlesXII ever find a woman like this? Or will his genes just be brutally culled from the gene pool?
I was a less extreme version of this as a kid, overflowing with random historical knowledge and looking for someone to share it with. I wish someone at some point had grabbed me by the shoulders, shaken me, and told me at least to try to be cool.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3881872&forum_id=2,#35326367) |
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