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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/03/18
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
low-t floppy french chef
  12/03/18
ty!
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
adventurous community account fortuitous meteor
  12/03/18
...
bronze violent church building headpube
  12/24/21
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big domesticated hall
  12/03/18
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Chest-beating Nighttime University
  12/03/18
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Supple dark crackhouse double fault
  12/03/18
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Nubile Point National Security Agency
  12/03/18
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adventurous community account fortuitous meteor
  12/03/18
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/07/18
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Indigo beta house
  12/07/18
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dashing market
  12/07/18
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Tripping Useless Location
  12/07/18
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Maroon Razzle Corner
  12/07/18
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/14/18
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Bateful mauve shrine fat ankles
  12/14/18
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/18
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big domesticated hall
  12/24/18
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Hideous Den
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
diverse federal chapel indirect expression
  12/24/18
120
Claret slap-happy parlour
  12/24/18
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/18
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Claret slap-happy parlour
  12/24/18
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topaz space yarmulke
  12/24/18
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/18
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Vivacious Dopamine Gas Station
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
primrose aggressive trailer park
  12/24/18
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/16/21
...
milky heady coffee pot
  12/24/18
...
navy medicated love of her life public bath
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Silver excitant range faggotry
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  07/01/19
...
big domesticated hall
  07/01/19
...
big domesticated hall
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/10/19
getting close...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
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Internet-worthy know-it-all jew
  12/24/19
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
...
awkward brunch
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Translucent vibrant kitty
  12/24/19
...
gold fear-inspiring sanctuary
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
primrose aggressive trailer park
  12/24/19
lol
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
This
bronze violent church building headpube
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
costumed church genital piercing
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
...
Concupiscible Wild Psychic Hominid
  12/24/19
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
bronze violent church building headpube
  12/24/19
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/19
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Racy khaki piazza
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/15/20
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Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/23/20
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Misunderstood Jet Hairy Legs Juggernaut
  12/24/20
It's time.
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/24/20
...
dashing market
  12/24/20
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/16/21
...
topaz space yarmulke
  12/16/21
...
Misunderstood Jet Hairy Legs Juggernaut
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/20/21
Lmao
fragrant dull locus private investor
  12/20/21
...
Frisky Pungent Lodge
  12/22/21
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fragrant dull locus private investor
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bronze violent church building headpube
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: low-t floppy french chef

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: adventurous community account fortuitous meteor

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: bronze violent church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: big domesticated hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Chest-beating Nighttime University



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Supple dark crackhouse double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Nubile Point National Security Agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: adventurous community account fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Indigo beta house



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: dashing market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Tripping Useless Location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Maroon Razzle Corner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Bateful mauve shrine fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: big domesticated hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Hideous Den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: diverse federal chapel indirect expression

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Claret slap-happy parlour

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Claret slap-happy parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: topaz space yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Vivacious Dopamine Gas Station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: primrose aggressive trailer park

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: milky heady coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: navy medicated love of her life public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Silver excitant range faggotry

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: big domesticated hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: big domesticated hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Internet-worthy know-it-all jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: awkward brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Translucent vibrant kitty

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: gold fear-inspiring sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: primrose aggressive trailer park

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: bronze violent church building headpube

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: costumed church genital piercing

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Concupiscible Wild Psychic Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: bronze violent church building headpube

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Racy khaki piazza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Misunderstood Jet Hairy Legs Juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: dashing market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: topaz space yarmulke



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Misunderstood Jet Hairy Legs Juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: fragrant dull locus private investor

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Frisky Pungent Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: fragrant dull locus private investor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: brass appetizing property black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: bronze violent church building headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2,#49538935)