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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe
  04/24/15
...
hairraiser temple police squad
  04/24/15
...
Twinkling Supple Chapel Fortuitous Meteor
  04/24/15
...
Burgundy Resort
  04/24/15
did this today
Tan razzle-dazzle double fault
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
flesh deep volcanic crater queen of the night
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Dashing haunting reading party menage
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
High-end Passionate Hospital Twinkling Uncleanness
  10/22/15
...
cyan exciting party of the first part
  10/22/15
...
hideous light dilemma
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Effete ivory crackhouse
  10/22/15
...
Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Lilac vigorous round eye
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Lilac vigorous round eye
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe
  05/16/16
...
Bateful wild national messiness
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Electric crawly mood church
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Avocado cerebral spot
  12/28/16
...
Bateful wild national messiness
  11/11/20
...
talented overrated public bath death wish
  07/26/24
...
Motley private investor kitty cat
  10/08/25
...
hours-hungry BILLPIG
  11/09/25


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Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: hairraiser temple police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Twinkling Supple Chapel Fortuitous Meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751846)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Burgundy Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Tan razzle-dazzle double fault

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: flesh deep volcanic crater queen of the night

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Dashing haunting reading party menage

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: High-end Passionate Hospital Twinkling Uncleanness

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022609)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: cyan exciting party of the first part



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: hideous light dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Effete ivory crackhouse

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Lilac vigorous round eye

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492630)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Lilac vigorous round eye

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492644)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Chocolate Bull Headed Tank Sweet Tailpipe

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Bateful wild national messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Electric crawly mood church

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250216)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Avocado cerebral spot

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Bateful wild national messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#41347456)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: talented overrated public bath death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Motley private investor kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: hours-hungry BILLPIG



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2/#49414142)