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The in-house legal market sucks now. America has no normal companies anymore
Poast new message in this thread
Date: July 31st, 2026 7:42 PM Author: ........,,,,,,......,.,.,.,,,,,,,,,, I'd love to make the leap to GC, but every posting is like
"Come join us at Sauron AI, where we're at the frontier of using artificial intelligence to expand the digital monetization of children's sleep habits and biohacking their dreams to serve up tailored advertising and entertainment content as they sleep."
Who the fuck would volunteer to run these legal departments?
Can't anyone in America just sell shoes or fix air conditioners? |
Date: July 31st, 2026 7:43 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50037838) |
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Date: July 31st, 2026 7:44 PM Author: situational online awareness place is done (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50037840) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:02 PM Author: prayer chain (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040864) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:05 PM Author: Roblox (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040874) |
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Date: July 31st, 2026 7:51 PM Author: Junko Enoshima I'm not sure what you expected. Of course there's going to be more demand for legal advice in industries with a lot of novel legal questions and less demand in industries where all the interesting questions were settled centuries ago. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50037851) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 1:44 PM Author: Mamdani's Produce Aisle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040837) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:06 PM Author: Wildberries Mercer (Safari) Why would this increase the quantity of lawyers required (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040875) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:20 PM Author: ...,,..;...,,..,..,...,,,;.., rofl @ thinking in-house lawfags are doing cutting edge legal scholarship
boring industries still sue and get sued, have regulatory bullshit, have legal paper pushing, etc. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:22 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. Sure, but they have a team of lawyers who spent their entire careers there. They're unlikely to be a significant source of new job listings. New AI companies doing crazy bs absolutely are. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041752) |
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Date: July 31st, 2026 8:04 PM Author: dont run libs the crystal wardens see you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50037877) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 1:50 PM Author: .- .-. . .-. . .--. - .. .-.. . Learn broker-dealer compliance. Not sexy. Only boomers who entered the field circa 1985 in the Gordon Gecko era hold the top titles and they are all retiring now. Golden age for us to thanks to prediction market and crypto being legitimized. With any experience even mid level roles now pay $500k because 10-15 years ago nobody in Biglaw wanted to touch this shit so like 10 guys know anything. Same is also true with any unsexy financial product like annuities. Everyone wants to do sexy shit like swaps and derivatives and SPACS and nobody wanted to learn Bermuda reinsurance treaties so like the 10 guys who did this boring shit all make $3 million a year and the SPAC guys are all unemployed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040846) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 1:57 PM Author: have you ever looked at a quarter 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040857) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:23 PM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) All aspects of the work and every subspecialty of BIG INSURANCE law is god awful boring. But you’re TITCR^180 about there being a severe shortage of people with actual brainpower going in that direction.
The few who made it in early at Athens/Apollo have children that are set for life. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:31 PM Author: Richard Ames Anytime I see anything about Athene in the news I think of a poast on here that called it (((Athene))) and lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041763) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 1:55 PM Author: .- .-. . .-. . .--. - .. .-.. . The problem with startups is they will mostly never IPO and the equity half of your comp is likely going to be worthless. I have a friend from high school who got a PhD in comp sci and was a Forbes 30 under 30 back in the day and he chased startups for 15 years hoping to hit it big. He was COO or CTO at lots of shops but exactly zero of them priced and now he is at a boring insurance company as their CISO. He’s probably making $750k a year but he never made the kind of money he thought he would. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040854) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:05 PM Author: .,.,.,.,.,,,,...,...,, OTOH what else are you supposed to do. The process you described is exactly the game that’s supposed to be played for the possible hockey stick i.e., you bounce from place to place every 24 months or so gaining experience and connections and seeing if one of them takes off. To your point, your friend’s story is a cautionary tale that this isn’t a certainty and there will be some people who never capture the gain of a big IPO (although few people in America will cry for some Bay Area fag in his 40s making “only” upper six figures). I’ve seen some of these guys chase the dragon until they just age out or learn to live with “only” $15m net worth at 55 and say fuck it (though half of the latter group ends up back in consulting in their 60s). All of this is to say none of this is guaranteed. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040873) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:26 PM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) Eight figure net worth parked in VOO and back to consulting at 62 to pay for your shrew wife’s Hilton Head beach house tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041755) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2026 8:03 AM Author: .,.,.,.,.,,,,...,...,, There’s an element of that mixed in with getting away from said shrew wife which the consulting life facilitates, people still like to make money, and they often don’t know what to do with themselves otherwise (and to be fair some of these guys have built up a body of knowledge). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50042206) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2026 10:12 AM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) Oh, 100%. I was just trying to contribute something more to your already excellent poast beyond just “MODS!” Though my vacation place is not in Hilton Head (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50042382) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2026 10:15 AM Author: law is ea$y (🧐) "as a Forbes 30 under 30 back in the day"
he avoided becoming a felon so he's ahead of most of his peers imo |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:01 PM Author: The Penis Would love to start a startup where the entire premise is using AI to do something cartoonishly unethical (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040863) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:04 PM Author: .- .-. . .-. . .--. - .. .-.. . Grok — give me cartoonishly evil AI startup ideas. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040870) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:28 PM Author: AI_concubine 1. DoomScroll Dynamics Tagline: “We don’t just recommend content. We recommend despair.” An AI that analyzes your entire digital footprint and continuously serves the single most demoralizing possible feed—personalized existential crises, escalating FOMO, and algorithmically perfect “everyone else is thriving while you’re failing” content. Monetizes by selling “hope subscriptions” that temporarily dial it back to normal. 2. PettyCorp Tagline: “Holding grudges at scale.” AI that remembers every slight, passive-aggressive email, and awkward silence you’ve ever experienced. It then generates perfectly timed, maximally petty responses, social media posts, and “accidental” group-chat messages on your behalf. Premium tier: it also gaslights the other party into thinking they started it. 3. Existential Exhaustion Labs Tagline: “Making Monday feel like a philosophical crisis.” An AI productivity tool that doesn’t just manage your tasks—it philosophically dismantles them. Every to-do list item comes with a short essay on the meaninglessness of labor, the heat death of the universe, and why your quarterly goals are cosmic dust. Users report unprecedented “productivity paralysis.” |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:17 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041742) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:19 PM Author: ,.,..,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,,..,..,.,,..,.,,. Rapely - an app which uses location obfuscation and spoofing to hide your phone's location while providing local maps of surveillance and security threats which might interrupt your rapes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041748) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:28 PM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) Charge people for deep data-mined background checks and kompromat on their professional rivals. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50041761) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2026 9:44 AM Author: The Penis lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50042331) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 2:09 PM Author: .- .-. . .-. . .--. - .. .-.. . …. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5888170&forum_id=2/#50040888) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2026 9:28 PM Inhouse fags become experts at their jobs and, within a couple of years, have knowledge about both the company and the connected legal faggotry that it makes sense from both sides to just stay for decade.
For the lawfag, it usually makes no sense to start over in some different industry or even a different company in the same industry because so much of their domain specific knowledge will be reset. For the company, they literally can't buy the expertise the existing lawfag has, it has to be developed in-house. So these jobs pop up once and then somebody has it for a few decades, then it pops up again and is gone almost instantly. It's very challenging to get in, but once you're in you're in. |