then my layoff date came. I applied for a couple weeks, got through a few rounds at some companies, got discouraged and am now traveling with family and CHILLING and POASTING.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954411)

Honestly so much work is just fraud bullshit, so it's understandable that you aren't chomping at the bit to get back to it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954477)

I have about $50K in my bank accounts and $400K between two 401ks. no assets, not even a car.

yeah exactly. I've never been a high-intrinsic-motivation person, and - as is probably the case for 95% of poasters - I've never had to put "effort" into anything to perform well, so I never learned to. for my first job out of college I only sent out like five apps and pretty much immediately got a job. for my second and most recent, it was about a two-month process but I was employed while searching so there was no rush.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954482)

I forgot to mention, professionally what motivates me is time pressure. I'll procrastinate something for a few days and when it gets to the point where I calculate it'll look REALLY bad if I don't finish soon, I'll put in a really long day or two and bang it out. and then I often receive praise for the quality of my work - which is funny because I think I only half deserve it and the other half is that people are primed to be impressed by it because it took longer than it was supposed to. lolol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954532)

i think thats what i meant with the second sentence. i just like the feeling of tunnel vision for its own sake. its probably feeding some need for grandiosity, where i feel like im staking everything on this 1 project and i need to ignore everything else and commit everything to this.

if im reading you right that's kinda what you're saying around coming up with a systematic approach even if it might be overkill. its something about feeling like this problem needs an urgent, systematic solution and everything else can wait. love that feeling regardless of what it is.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954545)

if it's not life or death or at least some kind of reasonably convincing facsimile of life or death why even bother lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954595)

one thing normies are definitely better at is struggling and settling. xo poas and pumos just don't get it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954505)

adversity: I've never had to face anything difficult in my life :/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954514)

but you're a great poaster so it evens out

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954433)

I'm going to tell the people how this stuff works and I'm going to do it as I see fit. You rob and scam people, isolate their perspectives, and then call it "schizophrenia". And in this case there are a lot of torah and other type jews on my side wondering why this guy who made stuff they liked suddenly isn't (making it) anymore

And then they listen, and they find out for themselves, and this business regarding a simple and caring "mental health" safeguard we have in place being abused by people too-skilled at abusing it becomes apparent

I will have no problem dropping this garbage and returning to normal but I'm not going to do it until my complaints have been addressed and rectified

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954445)

Doubt I believe this as written but this was the largely rejected proposition as I received it and sorry that you took beating after beating in the process of trying to make it stick

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954511)

Emilio is pretty obviously not an old guy

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954544)

I'll probably take a normal gig at some point this year just to stay on track for retirement

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49954503)

Whether or not you would admit this, there are countless "career focused" women who spend a decade-plus on their "careers," often in high enough paying jobs. Only to have basically nothing to show for it. They spend the money on their "passions" (travel) and don't plan long-term because they know they can just opt out at almost any point in time.

It's not even explicit. It's just there in the background.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955353)

yeah I've never cared about my career; I just work to make money to have fun outside of work. I spend pretty recklessly, not just on myself but also on friends, mutual aid, charity, etc. not sure if that means I fall into the category you're talking about or not.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955370)

You sound more self-aware than most women in this general regard, assuming you are being truthful. But "I just work to make money to have fun outside of work" is basically what I'm talking about. No planning for the future because you don't really have to in the way that a man does.

You at least don't seem to act like "My Career" is so Important, which is what many (many) women pretend to do (consciously or not) until they realize that really getting ahead is actually difficult. Post-30, usually, when the low hanging fruit of just showing up and doing tasks won't get you any further.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955387)

I have maybe one BPD tantrum every two years now; before, it was multiple times a week

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955428)

That wall looming is the glimpses of self-awareness you see in her poasts belie a much deeper, profounder blindness.

But we're wasting our breath as this has been explained to her ad nauseum for two decades, and as the truth of these warnings have begun to manifest she's still poasting about how her beauty "might run out someday maybe teehee" as a middle-adged, unemployed woman living in a deliberately non-committal situationship.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955477)

I am 100% sure I don't want to reproduce; I plan to foster/adopt a child instead. BUT I froze my eggs to keep that door open as a plan B in case something changes s.t. I'm unable to foster/adopt AND I really want to be a parent AND it's too late to conceive naturally.

ITT I said it in the context of not needing to rush. that's true, because even if something unforeseeable happens and I somehow change my mind, I have the eggs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955480)

Explain to me how this is "perfectly consistent" with someone who just recently paid five figures to freeze her eggs.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955484)

yes, if you're autistic, "definitely not going to" is inconsistent with the minuscule possibility that I end up being unable to foster/adopt and want to be a parent badly enough that I choose to go through the very unappealing process of bringing a new life into this world. but my points stand that (1) I am positive I don't want to reproduce; and (2) there's no need to rush to get married for the purpose of reproduction

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955489)

As Ames said: you are delusional and actively denying reality.

Same thing with foster or adopt. You will not do either of these things. The reason I know this is that you're unemployed (have time and opportunity) to dip your toe into volunteering here and you aren't.

It's the same reason you find it necessary to point out you're not spending money on "pure hedonoism." You want to believe that you're serious about doing these noble things, but you know you're not, and that dissonance is distressful for you. I suggest that you either start doing things or accept that you're not the person you imagine yourself to be. Otherwise that wall is going to slap you hard like Ames said (you are currently being slapped by it actually).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955520)

TBH I always thought sub-threads have their place.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955705)

It's also hilarious that bow tie niggas who is probably Boner Police thinks gunneratttt is actually a jeet and fell for that shit. He's not as smart as he thinks he is!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955718)

FWIW I'm being blunt to TBTP because that's the only thing an online person can do to moe the needle towards the goals she claims she aspires to. I would love if she started her debate channel or started doing foster care. But she won't. And me saying that to challenge her is the only thing I can do that might persuade her to (but it won't.).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955736)

I definitely can't afford to actually foster right this moment, and I'd rather do it when married, but you're right that I should volunteer for foster kids instead of just donating money to them. I'm on a mailing list for such opportunities but need to actually follow through; as I described ITT, I have poor executive function. actually one time I signed up for a career event for foster kids but it got canceled rip

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955740)

I stealth edited one sentence in to clarify that spending "to have fun" isn't just spending on myself but also includes being generous to my friends who make less, giving to people in need, stuff like that. not pure, shallow hedonism.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955411)

Anytime someone says I'd "be fine being single forever," I assume they just cannot actually comprehend the passing of time and the fact that they will not be young forever. Sure, dicking around and doing whatever shit you did when you were single is fun when you are 20 - 30 or so...but wait until you get to 40. And then all the sudden everyone else has paired up and, in many cases, started families.

Obviously I am wasting my time even saying any of this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955454)

just do sales, bro. seems chill.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955328)

I would suck at sales. I am going to give SOCIAL MEDIA a try though. it's my last hoap for escaping the WAGE CAGE

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5876293&forum_id=2/#49955337)