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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/03/18
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Razzmatazz Bistre Resort
  12/03/18
ty!
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Internet-worthy carnelian box office
  12/03/18
...
arousing indian lodge french chef
  12/24/21
...
Comical ceo
  12/03/18
...
cracking rigor
  12/03/18
...
irradiated hideous marketing idea juggernaut
  12/03/18
...
magenta multi-colored double fault property
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Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
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Exciting Chapel
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  12/14/18
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Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/18
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Comical ceo
  12/24/18
...
light locus
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Razzle-dazzle Aqua Sanctuary Private Investor
  12/24/18
120
Laughsome Temple Jewess
  12/24/18
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/18
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Laughsome Temple Jewess
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Topaz Fat Ankles
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  12/24/18
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Artistic gold tyvmft
Azure Mood
  12/24/18
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/16/21
...
Peach school crotch
  12/24/18
...
Concupiscible abusive athletic conference
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
vibrant tantric fanboi
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  07/01/19
...
Comical ceo
  07/01/19
...
Comical ceo
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/10/19
getting close...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
...
Drab Internal Respiration
  12/24/19
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
...
Marvelous House
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Lime Milk Cumskin
  12/24/19
...
supple flirting deer antler abode
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Azure Mood
  12/24/19
lol
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
This
arousing indian lodge french chef
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
Amber partner
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
...
cerise dingle berry state
  12/24/19
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
arousing indian lodge french chef
  12/24/19
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Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/19
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Ruby insanely creepy queen of the night headpube
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Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/23/20
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saffron faggot firefighter knife
  12/24/20
It's time.
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/24/20
...
Exciting Chapel
  12/24/20
...
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/16/21
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Topaz Fat Ankles
  12/16/21
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saffron faggot firefighter knife
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/20/21
Lmao
aggressive aphrodisiac cruise ship
  12/20/21
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Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap
  12/22/21
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  12/24/21
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arousing indian lodge french chef
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Razzmatazz Bistre Resort

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Internet-worthy carnelian box office

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: arousing indian lodge french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Comical ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: cracking rigor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: irradiated hideous marketing idea juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: magenta multi-colored double fault property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Internet-worthy carnelian box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Iridescent keepsake machete affirmative action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Exciting Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: mentally impaired slippery address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Pale trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: dun contagious bawdyhouse clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Comical ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: light locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle Aqua Sanctuary Private Investor

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Laughsome Temple Jewess

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Laughsome Temple Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Topaz Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: garnet lay genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Azure Mood

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Peach school crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Concupiscible abusive athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: vibrant tantric fanboi

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Comical ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Comical ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Drab Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Marvelous House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Lime Milk Cumskin

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: supple flirting deer antler abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Azure Mood

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: arousing indian lodge french chef

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: Amber partner

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: cerise dingle berry state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: arousing indian lodge french chef

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Ruby insanely creepy queen of the night headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: saffron faggot firefighter knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Exciting Chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Topaz Fat Ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: saffron faggot firefighter knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: aggressive aphrodisiac cruise ship

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Stimulating Meetinghouse Mad-dog Skullcap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: aggressive aphrodisiac cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Diverse free-loading pervert



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: arousing indian lodge french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538706)