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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Slate parlour
  12/03/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
aquamarine coiffed public bath juggernaut
  12/03/18
ty!
Slate parlour
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
fear-inspiring sandwich
  12/03/18
...
ruby turdskin
  12/24/21
...
Passionate Corn Cake
  12/03/18
...
Talented base
  12/03/18
...
vigorous avocado stag film hairy legs
  12/03/18
...
orchid macaca
  12/03/18
...
fear-inspiring sandwich
  12/03/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/07/18
...
thirsty aqua candlestick maker senate
  12/07/18
...
Cobalt Rehab Codepig
  12/07/18
...
Light mental disorder theatre
  12/07/18
...
Heady vermilion office
  12/07/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/14/18
...
Bonkers hairraiser address preventive strike
  12/14/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/18
...
Passionate Corn Cake
  12/24/18
...
Brilliant irate nibblets plaza
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Bespoke Goal In Life
  12/24/18
120
Alcoholic shrine
  12/24/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/18
...
Alcoholic shrine
  12/24/18
...
spectacular depressive
  12/24/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/18
...
amber school cafeteria
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
razzmatazz bearded stage coffee pot
  12/24/18
...
Slate parlour
  12/16/21
...
bipolar nighttime travel guidebook
  12/24/18
...
lavender background story
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
fragrant library
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Slate parlour
  07/01/19
...
Passionate Corn Cake
  07/01/19
...
Passionate Corn Cake
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Slate parlour
  12/10/19
getting close...
Slate parlour
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
...
tan galvanic sanctuary faggotry
  12/24/19
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
...
Irradiated liquid oxygen
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
aromatic menage
  12/24/19
...
ivory national
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
razzmatazz bearded stage coffee pot
  12/24/19
lol
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
This
ruby turdskin
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
green comical pocket flask brunch
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
...
fishy bawdyhouse
  12/24/19
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
ruby turdskin
  12/24/19
...
Slate parlour
  12/24/19
...
Lascivious boistinker
  12/24/19
...
Slate parlour
  12/15/20
...
Slate parlour
  12/23/20
...
Big Azn
  12/24/20
It's time.
Slate parlour
  12/24/20
...
Cobalt Rehab Codepig
  12/24/20
...
Slate parlour
  12/16/21
...
spectacular depressive
  12/16/21
...
Big Azn
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Slate parlour
  12/20/21
Lmao
House-broken People Who Are Hurt
  12/20/21
...
Slate parlour
  12/22/21
...
House-broken People Who Are Hurt
  12/22/21
...
violet appetizing forum
  12/24/21
...
ruby turdskin
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Slate parlour

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: aquamarine coiffed public bath juggernaut

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Slate parlour

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: fear-inspiring sandwich

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: ruby turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Passionate Corn Cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Talented base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: vigorous avocado stag film hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: orchid macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: fear-inspiring sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: thirsty aqua candlestick maker senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Cobalt Rehab Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Light mental disorder theatre



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Heady vermilion office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Bonkers hairraiser address preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Passionate Corn Cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Brilliant irate nibblets plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Bespoke Goal In Life

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Alcoholic shrine

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Alcoholic shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: spectacular depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: amber school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: razzmatazz bearded stage coffee pot

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: bipolar nighttime travel guidebook



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: lavender background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: fragrant library

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Slate parlour

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Passionate Corn Cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Passionate Corn Cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Slate parlour

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Slate parlour

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Slate parlour

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: tan galvanic sanctuary faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Irradiated liquid oxygen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: aromatic menage

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: ivory national



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: razzmatazz bearded stage coffee pot

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Slate parlour

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: ruby turdskin

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: green comical pocket flask brunch

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Slate parlour

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: fishy bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Slate parlour

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: ruby turdskin

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Lascivious boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Big Azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Slate parlour

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Cobalt Rehab Codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: spectacular depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Big Azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Slate parlour

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: House-broken People Who Are Hurt

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Slate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: House-broken People Who Are Hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: violet appetizing forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: ruby turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538935)