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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
odious unholy theater
  12/03/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Titillating Rough-skinned Jewess
  12/03/18
ty!
odious unholy theater
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
gay dysfunction
  12/03/18
...
Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker
  12/24/21
...
stirring topaz range crotch
  12/03/18
...
talented maize love of her life senate
  12/03/18
...
Insecure gunner
  12/03/18
...
Galvanic Turquoise Theater Stage Sneaky Criminal
  12/03/18
...
gay dysfunction
  12/03/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/07/18
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cerebral burgundy idiot round eye
  12/07/18
...
Mint space
  12/07/18
...
plum background story
  12/07/18
...
Appetizing shimmering box office
  12/07/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/14/18
...
Bateful Point Cuckoldry
  12/14/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/18
...
stirring topaz range crotch
  12/24/18
...
180 new version
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Ultramarine Crackhouse
  12/24/18
120
charismatic garrison
  12/24/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/18
...
charismatic garrison
  12/24/18
...
marvelous hairless factory reset button location
  12/24/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/18
...
violet principal's office
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
ruby racy personal credit line regret
  12/24/18
...
odious unholy theater
  12/16/21
...
trip gaming laptop
  12/24/18
...
honey-headed doobsian field therapy
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Canary heaven
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
odious unholy theater
  07/01/19
...
stirring topaz range crotch
  07/01/19
...
stirring topaz range crotch
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
odious unholy theater
  12/10/19
getting close...
odious unholy theater
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
...
Cowardly demanding mental disorder filthpig
  12/24/19
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
...
Internet-worthy Trailer Park Degenerate
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
wild electric lay idea he suggested
  12/24/19
...
puce beta juggernaut
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
ruby racy personal credit line regret
  12/24/19
lol
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
This
Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
obsidian house-broken athletic conference
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
...
mischievous sooty cuck
  12/24/19
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker
  12/24/19
...
odious unholy theater
  12/24/19
...
aromatic menage
  12/24/19
...
odious unholy theater
  12/15/20
...
odious unholy theater
  12/23/20
...
pale laughsome forum dingle berry
  12/24/20
It's time.
odious unholy theater
  12/24/20
...
Mint space
  12/24/20
...
odious unholy theater
  12/16/21
...
marvelous hairless factory reset button location
  12/16/21
...
pale laughsome forum dingle berry
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
odious unholy theater
  12/20/21
Lmao
Walnut unhinged mad-dog skullcap doctorate
  12/20/21
...
odious unholy theater
  12/22/21
...
Walnut unhinged mad-dog skullcap doctorate
  12/22/21
...
brindle parlour
  12/24/21
...
Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Titillating Rough-skinned Jewess

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: gay dysfunction

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: stirring topaz range crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: talented maize love of her life senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Insecure gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Galvanic Turquoise Theater Stage Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: gay dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: cerebral burgundy idiot round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Mint space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: plum background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Appetizing shimmering box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Bateful Point Cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: stirring topaz range crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: 180 new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Ultramarine Crackhouse

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: charismatic garrison

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: charismatic garrison



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: marvelous hairless factory reset button location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: violet principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: ruby racy personal credit line regret

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: trip gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: honey-headed doobsian field therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Canary heaven

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: stirring topaz range crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: stirring topaz range crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: odious unholy theater

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: odious unholy theater

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Cowardly demanding mental disorder filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Internet-worthy Trailer Park Degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: wild electric lay idea he suggested

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: puce beta juggernaut



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: ruby racy personal credit line regret

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: odious unholy theater

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: obsidian house-broken athletic conference

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: odious unholy theater

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: mischievous sooty cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: aromatic menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: pale laughsome forum dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Mint space



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: marvelous hairless factory reset button location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: pale laughsome forum dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: odious unholy theater

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Walnut unhinged mad-dog skullcap doctorate

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: odious unholy theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Walnut unhinged mad-dog skullcap doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: brindle parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Buff Glittery Newt Candlestick Maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2/#49538935)