Date: March 30th, 2025 3:50 PM
Author: Dashing embarrassed to the bone alpha
INT. LARRY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
NEWS ANCHOR (V.O.): Elon Musk is facing backlash today after appearing to give what many interpreted as a Nazi salute at the Republican National Convention
LARRY: That’s it. That’s the final straw. I can’t be associated with this guy anymore.
LEON: You just now figuring this out? The man named his kid after a Wi-Fi password. You chose this.
LARRY: It was sleek! It was quiet! And the doors went like this (mimes gullwing door opening, which looks vaguely like a salute) Oh no. Oh my god. That looks like a salute too!
LEON: Yup. You’re rolling around town in a Nazi spaceship.
LARRY: People are looking at me like I gave the salute! I parked outside Gelson’s, gave a wave to the parking guy—boom! Dirty looks. One woman actually spit on the ground!
LEON: You got Nazi residue on you, Larry. Elon rubbed off.
LARRY: I’ve got Musk stink!
LEON: Nobody wants a used Tesla right now. It’s like trying to sell a timeshare in hell.
CUT TO: LARRY IN HIS DRIVEWAY WITH A POTENTIAL BUYER
BUYER: So… this is a Tesla? From that guy?
LARRY: Yes, but I’m not him. I didn’t salute anything. I didn’t build flamethrowers or launch weird satellites. I just liked the cupholders!
BUYER: Nah, man. I can’t be seen in a Musk Mobile. People already think I’m in a militia.
LARRY: I use the turn signals! Like a normal person!
BUYER: Too late. You got the Nazi aura now.
He walks away. LARRY sighs deeply.
CUT TO: LARRY AND LEON OUTSIDE, NEXT TO THE TESLA
LARRY: I can’t sell it. Nobody wants Elon’s Hitler wagon.
LEON: You know what? I’ll take it.
LARRY: Really?
LEON: Hell yeah. I’m bulletproof. I could drive around in a Confederate flag go-kart and people would just think it’s ironic.
LARRY: You sure? It’s not just the car. It’s… everything. The algorithms, the tweets, the weird techno music that comes on when you open the door.
LEON: That’s fine. I’ll scrub the Elon out of it. Get in there with some sage, maybe a little Febreze.
LARRY: Well… if anyone can de-Nazi a Tesla, it’s you.
LEON: Damn right. Now hand me them keys, mein freund.
LARRY: Okay, that’s not helping.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5702244&forum_id=2/#48797023)