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Wife found my second phone today, I'm cooked
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:18 PM Author: Nippon Professional Baseball Pretty much using it for what you think. Stupid emergency alert went off. I was at work and she was at home and even though I silence it and keep it under a stack of papers in my drawer I guess the emergency alert overrode my settings and it kept going so she found it. Took a pic of the lock screen and sent a pic to me followed up with the 🤔 emoji. She can't get in but she'll probably have me unlock it when I get home. Hopefully no messages have popped up on the lock screen but I have no way of knowing. Best ways to cover this up? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002437) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:40 PM Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois) “using it for what you think” Arranging hiking dates with AHGs? |
Date: July 15th, 2026 5:19 PM Author: my dog can log into xo more often than I can (thanks, Rach!) say it wasn’t you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002440) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:39 PM Author: Big Bear Energy The Shaggy Defense (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002515) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002927) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:20 PM Author: The Penis you found the phone last night and didn't have time to turn it in to lost and found/police (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002441) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM Author: zoomer sexuality expert no no no no details
"idk what that phone is." "idk how it got there" "idk the password" "idk what all these Grindr notifications even mean" etc etc etc |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: The Penis no I disagree. that would only work if there was a plausible explanation for how it could have gotten there without him knowing, which most likely there isn't. cleanest is to just say you found it and are turning it in tomorrow. worst that happens is that she goes with him to the police station to turn it in. then he can just go grab it later and say "whoops actually it was mine". (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002471) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM Author: ...,...,,.::..;,.,:,:,,..,::.,:,.,.:.:.,:. found it and hid it under a stack of papers in a drawer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002798) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: ...,....,,........ lol, fully charged, btw (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002809) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:53 PM Author: steffan miller idiotic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002824) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM Author: Nippon Professional Baseball Oh I guess I should've added it's my old phone so she recognizes it. I usually just stick them in a drawer somewhere to collect dust and never use them again, so it's suspicious that it's charged and in my home office.
I could say I was playing around with AI and coding an app or something? That's the best I've got |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: The Penis say you lost your current phone and was setting that up to replace it as a backup, then you found it again (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002479) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:28 PM Author: zoomer sexuality expert "you know that dadaist message board where I pretend to have that wacky persona? yeah this is kind of like research for that guy." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002484) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:33 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface You're retarded if you admit to the capability to open it. Say you realized that you have SOMETHING on there (vacation pictures? old work files? USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) that you wanted (extra points if it's vacation photos and you wanted to use them to make a surprise photo reel for her). But you couldn't remember the password and weren't able to get in
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois) This seems good. But don’t claim vacay pics or something dumb, bc those are all on cloud accounts. Say that you had my contact info on there bc you used to post with that phone, so charged it and turned it on to contact me because [insert a long explanation of a potential legal claim until she stops paying attention] but you couldn’t remember the pin. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002512) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:50 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface I'm glad someone chimed in with understanding of whatever it is people do with modern media. I don't have any of that shit enabled, so it would work for me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002553) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:55 PM Author: The Penis idk he could plausibly have old pics on there that aren't synced with anything (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002575) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:44 PM Author: Keith Actually EPAH is highly suspect when it comes to expertise on modern technology (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003257) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:42 PM Author: Nippon Professional Baseball This seems like the best idea and way better than the dumbass shit I was gonna say in about 45 mins when I get home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002525) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:53 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface Hopefully you didn't use the same password on it as you do for your current phone. If you they're the same, change your normal phone's password before going home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002566) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:56 PM Author: The Penis could be fucked if it has face id and she already tried to get into it and noticed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002576) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:04 PM Author: Emotionally + Physically Abusive Ex-Husband (oppose bitchbois) This scenario would call for the immediate growth of a beard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002606) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:05 PM Author: The Penis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002609) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:37 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface Hmm. Better safe than sorry. Scribble a fake mustache and beard onto your face and an enormous black eye with a sharpie or a pen if you're in a pinch. Don't volunteer anything, but if she asks, just say you fell asleep at your work desk and one of your bros played a little practical joke. No big deal (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002786) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM Author: Rumpole?s omnibus ((zurich is stained)) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002828) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:45 PM Author: ...,....,,........ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002801) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:50 PM Author: valar vettiri morghulis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002815) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:58 PM Author: steffan miller (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002840) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:17 PM Author: jag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003202) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:54 PM Author: married into a shame based culture (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003281) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:21 PM Author: Kenneth Play (emotional girth) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003317) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:45 PM Author: The Penis cr (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002535) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 6:07 PM Author: .,.....,.,.;,.,,,:,.,.,::,...,:,..;,.., lol doy. Say yea I keep it charged and use it to read xo and watch porn while you take shits. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002618) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:32 PM Author: valar vettiri morghulis Trying to recover crypto (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002777) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:00 PM Author: wangfei (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003147) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:21 PM Author: CapTTTainFalcon you're chopped, unc (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002444) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:24 PM Author: Basque man, US citizen does it make a wet plopping noise when the jew cum spurting from your fingers hits the keyboard (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002458) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:25 PM Author: Diamond Dallas Chad Old work phone? "Try" to unlock it numerous times and just keep failing. If it's plugged into a charger or she's rlly dumb that can carry you. If it's not, you have to come up with a theory that explains recent use. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002465) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface This is exactly why they've done away with removable batteries (if you were married to the government) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002470) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:34 PM Author: George Jetson Just say it’s an old phone that you were seeing if worked to sell back to Verizon or whatever. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002500) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: ......,,,,,,........, Can’t you wipe it remotely? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002505) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:16 PM Author: .,.....,.,.;,.,,,:,.,.,::,...,:,..;,.., lol that would make it way worse. Just say you kept it around as a porn machine (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002752) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:33 PM Author: state your IQ before I engage you further Good but not good enough if he has incriminating evidence all over it. Which if he's retarded enough to leave his cheatmo shit lying around, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002778) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: computer online (🧐) ctrl-f "grow a beard"
jfc this place is retarded nowadays. grow a beard and you're fine. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:34 PM Author: me mum died in the holly (TT6) Thank god i never have to deal with that nonsense (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002779) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:46 PM Author: valar vettiri morghulis Your poasting has been pretty wild and erratic lately, maybe this is the wake up call you need. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002803) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:54 PM Author: computer online (🧐) he's doing great (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002826) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: ...,....,,........ Assuming it's an iphone, can you remote wipe it or some shit?
You're absolutely FUCKT if she makes you unlock it for her and there are messages on there. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:56 PM Author: steffan miller under no circumstances can he unlock it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002833) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:57 PM Author: Rumpole?s omnibus ((zurich is stained)) Yeah he’s better off remote wiping it. If she makes him open it in front of her, he may be done here, chopped and cooked. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002834) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:30 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. This works with Androids too. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002926) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:47 PM Author: Mega Penis Just say "Disah no wat you tink!" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002808) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 7:55 PM Author: steffan miller OP i will flood it with messages from my irl # about crypto or something if you really want just bump this and ill post a throwaway (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002829) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:33 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. Actually, just get a burner phone and start sending messages like "Bill, where are you? Why aren't you responding?"
Your wife will be confused. Explain that Bill is your friend at work who left his phone with you and you just need to return it. No, you don't have the pw, it isn't your phone. Take it to work tomorrow. Never bring it home again.
You're still fucked because she basically knows what you're up to but it gives you plausible deniability for the short term. I suggest you buy her a VERY big thing of flowers. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:41 PM Author: Madison Avenue Lemming Enslaved to Conformity If you have kids:
Wipe it remotely then say: “I’m trying to set this up as a dumb phone for the kids so they can play games/watch videos/take photos, so we don’t have to bring full iPads to restaurants. Can you help me set up the parental controls? It’s really complicated with trying to make sure it can run Prime video/netflix, but not allow them to download whatever they want, and to set screen time limits.” The mention of concern about screen time and content controls should put your wife into birdbrain instagram mom mode and allay any concern about your faithfulness. (I don’t cheat, but this is a common conversation in my house that devolves into a 45 minute discussion about how to lock down devices.)
If you don’t have kids:
Remote wipe and say: “I was trying to reset this to use as a camera for [hobby/recording 4th of July fireworks/etc.], but I couldn’t remember the password so I had to remote wipe it. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:46 PM Author: .,.,...,..,.,.,:,,:,.,.,:::,...,:,...:..:.,:.::,. This assumes you have a kid that doesn't have a phone and needs one. Mine already has a phone, for example. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50002987) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:55 PM Author: crime lord text her right now telling her to leave it alone because it's the phone you use to arrange trysts with your secret lovers
throw her off balance |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: Metal Up Your Ass turn it back around on her and claim the phone is hers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003017) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 9:23 PM Author: Rumpole?s omnibus ((zurich is stained)) This could actually work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003062) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 9:50 PM Author: Fucking Fuckface Fucking love this (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003120) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 9:51 PM Author: computer online (🧐) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003126) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:05 PM Author: potluck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003173) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:26 PM Author: Jesus Christ I'm online again darvomaxxing tp (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003228) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:31 PM Author: Emperor CRISPR Chad von Neumann III ( ) Bird Brain Masterman (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003236) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 8:59 PM Author: Mega Penis *clears throat* *raises hand* haha u r fukt |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 9:56 PM Author: Basque man, US citizen Second phone is as fake as the "wife" conjured up by a black jewish mafia organization to defraud me btw. Good to know. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003138) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:19 PM Author: ;::;:;;::;;;;;:::: (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003209) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:24 PM Author: Josh_Allen Dying for an update. Thinking positive thoughts.
It’s too late and there are better ideas above but OP could announce a drug or gambling habit. Cry. You’re sick and need help, etc. |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:27 PM Author: valar vettiri morghulis Need update OP (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003229) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 10:46 PM Author: Gloostick Hide other phones randomly around the house and claim they're for emergencies (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003261) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:11 PM Author: married into a shame based culture Great thread (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003308) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:30 PM Author: .,.,.:,,.,:.,:,,:,.::,:.:.,.,:.,:,,.:.,.,:.::, (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003328) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:34 PM Author: computer online (🧐) even in the face of senescence there are still those among us who operate at an extraordinarily high level (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003335) |
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Date: July 15th, 2026 11:24 PM Author: Kenneth Play (emotional girth) thoughts & prayers, my brother. wishing for a positive update (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5883020&forum_id=2],#50003321) |