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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
garnet striped hyena
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
domesticated indirect expression
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
concupiscible bawdyhouse telephone
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
sadistic theater
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
Massive charismatic native black woman
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
Slimy market
  04/30/21
...
Pungent whorehouse
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
Slimy market
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
garnet striped hyena
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
domesticated indirect expression
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
Slimy market
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
domesticated indirect expression
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Big Place Of Business
  04/30/21
...
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As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
Irradiated trust fund
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness
  04/30/21
...
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
...
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...
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Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
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As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Citrine Sick House Prole
  04/30/21
...
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Marvelous Shitlib Regret
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FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Chestnut school cafeteria
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Pungent whorehouse
  04/30/21
...
Deep karate ceo
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Pungent whorehouse
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A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
swollen titillating point
  04/30/21
...
Rough-skinned Center Volcanic Crater
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
garnet striped hyena
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Comical maize yarmulke boiling water
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Comical maize yarmulke boiling water
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Comical maize yarmulke boiling water
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
domesticated indirect expression
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Ebony Indian Lodge
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
Olive skinny woman parlour
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Pungent whorehouse
  04/30/21
...
Rough-skinned Center Volcanic Crater
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
maniacal multi-colored university masturbator
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
bonkers sanctuary
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
swollen titillating point
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
bonkers sanctuary
  04/30/21
...
Slimy market
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Marvelous Shitlib Regret
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
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  04/30/21
...
180 associate
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Floppy Outnumbered Sound Barrier Temple
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Trip Chartreuse Immigrant
  04/30/21
Wow
Floppy Outnumbered Sound Barrier Temple
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Trip Chartreuse Immigrant
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
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  02/22/22
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High | level | legal work
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  04/30/21
...
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Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Shimmering Toilet Seat Hall
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Umber Theater Stage
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
vibrant mood
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C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
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  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Abnormal pea-brained set
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
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  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Deep karate ceo
  04/30/21
...
Cerebral Crackhouse Jew
  04/30/21
...
Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
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Cerebral Crackhouse Jew
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
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  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness
  04/30/21
What’s that
Opaque mildly autistic tanning salon
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness
  04/30/21
...
vivacious haunting faggotry office
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
plum boyish spot pozpig
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
plum boyish spot pozpig
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Azure liquid oxygen philosopher-king
  04/30/21
I am gay
mahogany hospital tattoo
  04/30/21
great thread
Deep karate ceo
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Violent magenta digit ratio
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Ebony Indian Lodge
  04/30/21
...
Ebony Indian Lodge
  05/02/21
...
Ebony Indian Lodge
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
180 associate
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
garnet striped hyena
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
wine insecure rigor
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: garnet striped hyena

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: domesticated indirect expression

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: concupiscible bawdyhouse telephone

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: sadistic theater

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: Massive charismatic native black woman
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: Slimy market

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Pungent whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: Slimy market

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: garnet striped hyena

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: domesticated indirect expression

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Slimy market

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: domesticated indirect expression

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Big Place Of Business

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Sexy anal station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Irradiated trust fund

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: vivacious haunting faggotry office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: flatulent adventurous incel quadroon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: pearl useless rehab genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Erotic meetinghouse

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453959)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Citrine Sick House Prole

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: light contagious dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Marvelous Shitlib Regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Smoky dog poop knife

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Chestnut school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: maniacal multi-colored university masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: brindle idiotic idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: cheese-eating principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: vivacious haunting faggotry office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Impressive address pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Chestnut school cafeteria



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Chestnut school cafeteria

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Pungent whorehouse

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Deep karate ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Pungent whorehouse

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: big-titted coffee pot public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: swollen titillating point

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Rough-skinned Center Volcanic Crater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: garnet striped hyena

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Comical maize yarmulke boiling water

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Comical maize yarmulke boiling water

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Curious Soggy Heaven Degenerate

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Comical maize yarmulke boiling water

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: domesticated indirect expression

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Ebony Indian Lodge

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: Olive skinny woman parlour

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376217)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Pungent whorehouse

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376233)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: Rough-skinned Center Volcanic Crater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: maniacal multi-colored university masturbator

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376246)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: bonkers sanctuary

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: swollen titillating point

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: bonkers sanctuary

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: Slimy market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Marvelous Shitlib Regret

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376331)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: light contagious dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Arousing chest-beating institution hissy fit

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: 180 associate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Floppy Outnumbered Sound Barrier Temple

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Trip Chartreuse Immigrant

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Floppy Outnumbered Sound Barrier Temple

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376411)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Trip Chartreuse Immigrant

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: brindle idiotic idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: domesticated indirect expression

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: Razzmatazz area chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Hyperactive low-t doctorate lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Sexy anal station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Rough-skinned Center Volcanic Crater

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376504)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: Razzmatazz area chad

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376531)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: vivacious haunting faggotry office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Deep karate ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: vivacious haunting faggotry office

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: swollen titillating point

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Impressive address pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722527)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Talented amethyst base love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: learning disabled khaki stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Deep karate ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378128)



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Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Talented amethyst base love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Talented amethyst base love of her life

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Blue Step-uncle's House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Hyperactive low-t doctorate lay

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: Razzmatazz area chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722517)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Embarrassed To The Bone Mad Cow Disease



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: red odious locale

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376422)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: big-titted coffee pot public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Shimmering Toilet Seat Hall

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Umber Theater Stage

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: vibrant mood

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: Green circlehead church building

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Abnormal pea-brained set

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: avocado flirting reading party sex offender

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Deep karate ceo

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Trip Chartreuse Immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Cerebral Crackhouse Jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle lime trailer park jewess

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376699)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Opaque mildly autistic tanning salon

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376746)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: vivacious haunting faggotry office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: plum boyish spot pozpig

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: plum boyish spot pozpig

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Azure liquid oxygen philosopher-king

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: mahogany hospital tattoo

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Deep karate ceo

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Violent magenta digit ratio

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378186)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Ebony Indian Lodge

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Ebony Indian Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Ebony Indian Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: Buck-toothed State Twinkling Uncleanness

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386977)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: 180 associate

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: garnet striped hyena

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: wine insecure rigor

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827363)