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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
primrose keepsake machete azn
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
bistre background story
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Talented Insecure Business Firm
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
frozen sandwich trust fund
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
mahogany candlestick maker pozpig
  04/30/21
...
Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
mahogany candlestick maker pozpig
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
primrose keepsake machete azn
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
mahogany candlestick maker pozpig
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Bisexual stage
  04/30/21
...
Ruddy ticket booth deer antler
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
rebellious concupiscible dilemma
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
Startled point
  04/30/21
...
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
...
translucent quadroon idiot
  04/30/21
...
Dashing Site
  04/30/21
...
dark jew
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
sticky spot travel guidebook
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Twinkling comical nursing home liquid oxygen
  04/30/21
...
Flirting gunner
  04/30/21
...
Bossy Really Tough Guy Meetinghouse
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
Adulterous mind-boggling brunch
  04/30/21
...
Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry
  04/30/21
...
Startled point
  04/30/21
...
black laughsome location laser beams
  04/30/21
...
chrome sadistic immigrant property
  04/30/21
...
Flesh Dysfunction
  04/30/21
...
translucent quadroon idiot
  04/30/21
...
beady-eyed theater stage mediation
  04/30/21
...
Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit
  04/30/21
...
impertinent heady home
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit
  04/30/21
...
Boyish Sienna Potus Roommate
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
violent bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
...
violet range
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
primrose keepsake machete azn
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Excitant national idea he suggested
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Excitant national idea he suggested
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
electric drab center mother
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Excitant national idea he suggested
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
citrine disgusting pocket flask
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
rough-skinned gas station cuckold
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit
  04/30/21
...
violet range
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
black laughsome location laser beams
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Snowy trailer park
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
violent bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Snowy trailer park
  04/30/21
...
mahogany candlestick maker pozpig
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Bossy Really Tough Guy Meetinghouse
  04/30/21
...
Flirting gunner
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
charcoal coiffed becky church building
  04/30/21
...
house-broken station
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
yapping gaped area depressive
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Supple French Death Wish
  04/30/21
Wow
yapping gaped area depressive
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Supple French Death Wish
  04/30/21
...
chrome sadistic immigrant property
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge
  04/30/21
...
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Shimmering public bath
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Ruddy ticket booth deer antler
  04/30/21
titcr.
violet range
  04/30/21
180
180 Set Tank
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...
translucent quadroon idiot
  04/30/21
...
impertinent heady home
  04/30/21
holy shit
Shimmering public bath
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
translucent quadroon idiot
  04/30/21
how
violent bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
...
beady-eyed theater stage mediation
  06/22/22
...
Startled point
  04/30/21
...
Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat
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...
azure lay hunting ground
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...
impertinent heady home
  04/30/21
...
Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat
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...
Shimmering public bath
  02/22/22
this is incredible
Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat
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...
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...
out-of-control electric furnace genital piercing
  05/04/22
wow
hyperactive canary tattoo doctorate
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...
180 Set Tank
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henna medicated plaza
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
Rose institution stain
  04/30/21
...
Boyish Sienna Potus Roommate
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
turquoise cruise ship
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Swollen violent elastic band crotch
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
curious piazza
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
cerebral selfie
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Provocative self-absorbed pisswyrm locus
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Unhinged Copper Skinny Woman Theater
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
impertinent heady home
  04/30/21
...
Shimmering public bath
  04/30/21
...
Startled point
  04/30/21
...
Supple French Death Wish
  04/30/21
...
Shimmering public bath
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
deranged glassy pistol
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
Startled point
  04/30/21
What’s that
Domesticated mexican
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
Startled point
  04/30/21
...
translucent quadroon idiot
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
impressive roast beef step-uncle's house
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
impressive roast beef step-uncle's house
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Sepia hairraiser incel rigpig
  04/30/21
I am gay
Self-centered base coffee pot
  04/30/21
great thread
impertinent heady home
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
cocky brindle field
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
citrine disgusting pocket flask
  04/30/21
...
citrine disgusting pocket flask
  05/02/21
...
citrine disgusting pocket flask
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
Startled point
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
house-broken station
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
primrose keepsake machete azn
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Cream Hall Friendly Grandma
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: electric drab center mother

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: primrose keepsake machete azn

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: bistre background story

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Talented Insecure Business Firm

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: frozen sandwich trust fund
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: mahogany candlestick maker pozpig

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: electric drab center mother

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: mahogany candlestick maker pozpig

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: electric drab center mother

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: primrose keepsake machete azn

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: mahogany candlestick maker pozpig

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Bisexual stage

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Ruddy ticket booth deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: rebellious concupiscible dilemma

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Startled point

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: electric drab center mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: translucent quadroon idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Dashing Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: dark jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: sticky spot travel guidebook

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Twinkling comical nursing home liquid oxygen

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Flirting gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Bossy Really Tough Guy Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Adulterous mind-boggling brunch

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Startled point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: black laughsome location laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: chrome sadistic immigrant property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: Flesh Dysfunction



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: translucent quadroon idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: beady-eyed theater stage mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Carnelian hairless temple dingle berry

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: impertinent heady home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Boyish Sienna Potus Roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: violent bawdyhouse

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: violet range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: primrose keepsake machete azn

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Excitant national idea he suggested

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: electric drab center mother

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Excitant national idea he suggested

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: electric drab center mother

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Excitant national idea he suggested

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: citrine disgusting pocket flask

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: rough-skinned gas station cuckold

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Judgmental Razzle-dazzle Orchestra Pit

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: violet range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: black laughsome location laser beams

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376246)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Snowy trailer park

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: violent bawdyhouse

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376306)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Snowy trailer park

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: mahogany candlestick maker pozpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Bossy Really Tough Guy Meetinghouse

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376331)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Flirting gunner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: charcoal coiffed becky church building

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: house-broken station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: yapping gaped area depressive

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Supple French Death Wish

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: yapping gaped area depressive

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Supple French Death Wish

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: chrome sadistic immigrant property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Bull headed fragrant filthpig indian lodge

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: 180 Set Tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377415)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Shimmering public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: hyperactive canary tattoo doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Ruddy ticket booth deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: violet range

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: 180 Set Tank

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376531)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: translucent quadroon idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: impertinent heady home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Shimmering public bath

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: translucent quadroon idiot

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: violent bawdyhouse

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: beady-eyed theater stage mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: Startled point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: azure lay hunting ground



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376872)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: impertinent heady home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Shimmering public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Abusive unholy digit ratio kitty cat

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Shimmering public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: out-of-control electric furnace genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: hyperactive canary tattoo doctorate

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722507)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: 180 Set Tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722517)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: henna medicated plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Rose institution stain

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376422)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Boyish Sienna Potus Roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: turquoise cruise ship

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Swollen violent elastic band crotch

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: curious piazza

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: cerebral selfie

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Provocative self-absorbed pisswyrm locus

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Unhinged Copper Skinny Woman Theater

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: impertinent heady home

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Shimmering public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Startled point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376736)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Supple French Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Shimmering public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: deranged glassy pistol

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Startled point

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376699)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Domesticated mexican

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: Startled point

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: translucent quadroon idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: impressive roast beef step-uncle's house

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: impressive roast beef step-uncle's house

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Sepia hairraiser incel rigpig

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Self-centered base coffee pot

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377484)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: impertinent heady home

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: cocky brindle field

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378186)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: citrine disgusting pocket flask

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: citrine disgusting pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: citrine disgusting pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: Startled point

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: house-broken station

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: primrose keepsake machete azn

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Cream Hall Friendly Grandma

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827205)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: tubby spastic 11yo playing in toddler section

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827363)