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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Violet Comical Shrine
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
Spectacular degenerate abode
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Glassy sinister kitty
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
deranged piazza
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
judgmental persian half-breed
  04/30/21
...
Black magical jap cruise ship
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
judgmental persian half-breed
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Violet Comical Shrine
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
judgmental persian half-breed
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Violet Comical Shrine
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Umber Dingle Berry State
  04/30/21
...
diverse hot native
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
Plum motley jewess dog poop
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
transparent mental disorder forum
  04/30/21
...
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
...
soul-stirring home
  04/30/21
...
translucent rambunctious chapel
  04/30/21
...
hateful lettuce organic girlfriend
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
fear-inspiring out-of-control box office friendly grandma
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
azure police squad
  04/30/21
...
Heady dun immigrant
  04/30/21
...
Sadistic flirting private investor generalized bond
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
Red Beady-eyed Step-uncle's House
  04/30/21
...
Titillating wagecucks
  04/30/21
...
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...
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  04/30/21
...
Mahogany Contagious School
  04/30/21
...
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...
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  04/30/21
...
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...
Titillating wagecucks
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Titillating wagecucks
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Black magical jap cruise ship
  04/30/21
...
geriatric frozen range
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Black magical jap cruise ship
  04/30/21
...
erotic institution
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete
  04/30/21
...
metal patrolman hall
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Spruce double fault marketing idea
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Spruce double fault marketing idea
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
supple puce puppy
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Spruce double fault marketing idea
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Violet Comical Shrine
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
peach property
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Black magical jap cruise ship
  04/30/21
...
metal patrolman hall
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
maroon overrated multi-billionaire
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
curious national
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
curious national
  04/30/21
...
judgmental persian half-breed
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Sadistic flirting private investor generalized bond
  04/30/21
...
Heady dun immigrant
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
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...
orchid parlor electric furnace
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Thriller casino yarmulke
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon
  04/30/21
Wow
Thriller casino yarmulke
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon
  04/30/21
...
Mahogany Contagious School
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Violet Comical Shrine
  04/30/21
...
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diverse hot native
  04/30/21
titcr.
metal patrolman hall
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180
greedy zippy black woman
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...
soul-stirring home
  04/30/21
...
geriatric frozen range
  04/30/21
holy shit
cracking jew
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
soul-stirring home
  04/30/21
how
mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete
  04/30/21
...
Vigorous rough-skinned brunch
  06/22/22
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transparent mental disorder forum
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High | level | legal work
Ruby Laughsome Digit Ratio
  04/30/21
...
erotic institution
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Internet-worthy love of her life trust fund
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
saffron antidepressant drug lodge
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
Orange gas station
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
frum rigor resort
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Aqua floppy sex offender kitty cat
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Hairless splenetic toilet seat
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
geriatric frozen range
  04/30/21
...
cracking jew
  04/30/21
...
transparent mental disorder forum
  04/30/21
...
frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon
  04/30/21
...
cracking jew
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
self-absorbed pontificating gaming laptop corn cake
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
transparent mental disorder forum
  04/30/21
What’s that
Bearded effete potus queen of the night
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
transparent mental disorder forum
  04/30/21
...
soul-stirring home
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Bull Headed Fortuitous Meteor
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Bull Headed Fortuitous Meteor
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
outnumbered passionate menage hissy fit
  04/30/21
I am gay
alcoholic new version
  04/30/21
great thread
geriatric frozen range
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Gay Mind-boggling Stock Car
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal
  04/30/21
...
Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal
  05/02/21
...
Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
transparent mental disorder forum
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
orchid parlor electric furnace
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Arousing Deer Antler
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: supple puce puppy

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Violet Comical Shrine

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: Spectacular degenerate abode

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Glassy sinister kitty

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: deranged piazza
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: judgmental persian half-breed

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Black magical jap cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: supple puce puppy

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: judgmental persian half-breed

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: supple puce puppy

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Violet Comical Shrine

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: judgmental persian half-breed

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Violet Comical Shrine

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Umber Dingle Berry State

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: diverse hot native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Plum motley jewess dog poop

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: supple puce puppy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: soul-stirring home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: translucent rambunctious chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: hateful lettuce organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: fear-inspiring out-of-control box office friendly grandma

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: azure police squad

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Heady dun immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Sadistic flirting private investor generalized bond



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Red Beady-eyed Step-uncle's House

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Titillating wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: maroon overrated multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Mahogany Contagious School



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: concupiscible church depressive



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: soul-stirring home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Vigorous rough-skinned brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Titillating wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Titillating wagecucks

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Black magical jap cruise ship

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: geriatric frozen range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Black magical jap cruise ship

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: erotic institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: metal patrolman hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Spruce double fault marketing idea

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: supple puce puppy

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Spruce double fault marketing idea

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: supple puce puppy

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Spruce double fault marketing idea

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Violet Comical Shrine

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: peach property

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376217)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Black magical jap cruise ship

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376233)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: metal patrolman hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: maroon overrated multi-billionaire

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: curious national

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376306)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: curious national

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: judgmental persian half-breed



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Sadistic flirting private investor generalized bond

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376331)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Heady dun immigrant



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: carmine domesticated boltzmann azn

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: orchid parlor electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Thriller casino yarmulke

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376393)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Thriller casino yarmulke

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376411)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376419)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Mahogany Contagious School



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Violet Comical Shrine

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376824)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: greedy zippy black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377415)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: cracking jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008886)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: henna cocky juggernaut university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722509)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: diverse hot native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: metal patrolman hall

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: greedy zippy black woman

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: soul-stirring home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376589)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: geriatric frozen range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: cracking jew

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: soul-stirring home

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: mustard stirring ticket booth keepsake machete

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377366)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Vigorous rough-skinned brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722527)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Dead sienna masturbator base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376866)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Poppy french chef dilemma



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376872)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: geriatric frozen range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378128)



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Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Dead sienna masturbator base



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42558237)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: cracking jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008882)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Dead sienna masturbator base

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008910)



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Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: cracking jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032706)



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Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: bespoke factory reset button temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: henna cocky juggernaut university

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722507)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: greedy zippy black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722517)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Submissive Main People



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722548)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Ruby Laughsome Digit Ratio

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376422)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: erotic institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Internet-worthy love of her life trust fund

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: saffron antidepressant drug lodge

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Orange gas station

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: frum rigor resort

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Aqua floppy sex offender kitty cat

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Hairless splenetic toilet seat

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: geriatric frozen range

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376665)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: cracking jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376704)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: frisky aphrodisiac tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: cracking jew



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008887)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: self-absorbed pontificating gaming laptop corn cake

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376699)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Bearded effete potus queen of the night

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376738)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376746)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: soul-stirring home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Bull Headed Fortuitous Meteor

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Bull Headed Fortuitous Meteor

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: outnumbered passionate menage hissy fit

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: alcoholic new version

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42377484)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: geriatric frozen range

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378176)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Gay Mind-boggling Stock Car

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42378186)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Dark Principal's Office Sneaky Criminal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42509184)



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Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: transparent mental disorder forum

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#42386977)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: orchid parlor electric furnace

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44008916)



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Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: rebellious obsidian international law enforcement agency

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Arousing Deer Antler

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#44722512)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2],#49827363)