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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/03/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
unholy vivacious jap
  12/03/18
ty!
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Nudist shrine
  12/03/18
...
Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor
  12/24/21
...
fluffy church reading party
  12/03/18
...
dashing mauve school
  12/03/18
...
Vigorous native wagecucks
  12/03/18
...
bat-shit-crazy aromatic goal in life temple
  12/03/18
...
Nudist shrine
  12/03/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/07/18
...
Slimy cracking round eye
  12/07/18
...
primrose pit nibblets
  12/07/18
...
awkward cowardly turdskin
  12/07/18
...
Violet Concupiscible Feces Trailer Park
  12/07/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/14/18
...
carnelian sick tanning salon faggotry
  12/14/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/18
...
fluffy church reading party
  12/24/18
...
irradiated striped hyena blood rage
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Azure costumed toilet seat nursing home
  12/24/18
120
Supple Bipolar Market Sound Barrier
  12/24/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/18
...
Supple Bipolar Market Sound Barrier
  12/24/18
...
green indian lodge
  12/24/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/18
...
pearl piazza becky
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
peach station roast beef
  12/24/18
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/16/21
...
talented internal respiration hell
  12/24/18
...
mahogany community account
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
ruby violent point death wish
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  07/01/19
...
fluffy church reading party
  07/01/19
...
fluffy church reading party
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/10/19
getting close...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
...
frum house gaming laptop
  12/24/19
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
...
Harsh Abode Pocket Flask
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Twisted jew mother
  12/24/19
...
mind-boggling location
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
peach station roast beef
  12/24/19
lol
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
This
Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
misanthropic dragon home
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
...
Cordovan crackhouse
  12/24/19
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor
  12/24/19
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/19
...
cream step-uncle's house people who are hurt
  12/24/19
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/15/20
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/23/20
...
Hairraiser keepsake machete incel
  12/24/20
It's time.
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/24/20
...
primrose pit nibblets
  12/24/20
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/16/21
...
green indian lodge
  12/16/21
...
Hairraiser keepsake machete incel
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/20/21
Lmao
Zippy Charismatic University Affirmative Action
  12/20/21
...
Effete Pea-brained Alpha
  12/22/21
...
Zippy Charismatic University Affirmative Action
  12/22/21
...
Trip stock car cuckold
  12/24/21
...
Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: unholy vivacious jap

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Nudist shrine

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: fluffy church reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: dashing mauve school



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Vigorous native wagecucks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: bat-shit-crazy aromatic goal in life temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Nudist shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Slimy cracking round eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: primrose pit nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: awkward cowardly turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Violet Concupiscible Feces Trailer Park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: carnelian sick tanning salon faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: fluffy church reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: irradiated striped hyena blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Azure costumed toilet seat nursing home

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Supple Bipolar Market Sound Barrier

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Supple Bipolar Market Sound Barrier



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: green indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: pearl piazza becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: peach station roast beef

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: talented internal respiration hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: mahogany community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: ruby violent point death wish

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: fluffy church reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: fluffy church reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: frum house gaming laptop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Harsh Abode Pocket Flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Twisted jew mother

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: mind-boggling location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: peach station roast beef

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: misanthropic dragon home

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Cordovan crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: cream step-uncle's house people who are hurt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Hairraiser keepsake machete incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: primrose pit nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: green indian lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Hairraiser keepsake machete incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Zippy Charismatic University Affirmative Action

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: Effete Pea-brained Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Zippy Charismatic University Affirmative Action



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Trip stock car cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Outnumbered white stage fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#49538935)