Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM Author: ultramarine up-to-no-good volcanic crater
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J
Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;
The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,
In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;
The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,
While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;
And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,
When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.
Away to the lot I flew like a flash,
Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.
The moon on the breast of the softly lit J
Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this night would be sick.
More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!
To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!
Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"
As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,
So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,
With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little poof.
As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,
“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.
He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,
His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;
The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;
Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"
Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.
Upset Jew, 12-03-2018
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37342568)
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Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM Author: honey-headed stirring church filthpig
jfc, this was 180.
This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37343471) |
Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM Author: Violet rigor
To be fair,
What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#37462619) |
Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM Author: Pale diverse brunch
Missed this the first time. Great work dude.
180
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2],#39317610) |
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