WASHINGTON—In an effort to assure critics during her Senate confirmation hearing for the Supreme Court, Judge Amy Coney Barrett promised Monday that her Catholic faith’s tenets of generosity and humanity would not interfere with her duty on the court to crush the nation’s poorest and most downtrodden citizens. “When you become a judge, you take an oath to not let the Christian values of helping the less fortunate affect your decisions,” said Barrett, noting that despite her savior Jesus Christ repeatedly lecturing His followers on the importance of catering to the most disadvantaged among them, she believed the country was founded on the separation of church and state for a reason. “Rest assured, the routine suppression of the meek and the hungry is central to our democracy, and I vow to decide all cases with that in mind—as is precedent. While I deeply believe in the Catholic virtue of mercy in my personal life, compassion has no place in my courtroom, and my long history as a federal judge demonstrates that. As soon as I put on my robes and step into my chambers, the Golden Rule all but ceases to exist.” Barrett added that her time as a clerk for Justice Scalia proved that she was capable of treating the poor as less than human beings in the eyes of the law.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4649469&forum_id=2#41099423)

After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

They shrunk back and began to hiss. "Noooo!" cried Senator Richard Blumenthal. "It burns us! Take it away!" He dove under his desk to hide from its light.

"Agggghhhh!!!" screamed Senator Cory Booker, his skin sizzling at the sight of Jesus on the cross. "I'll get you one day, Barrett!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4649469&forum_id=2#41099647)