You have a website that promotes your promiscuity, you have sold yourself, through your stories and blogs apparently shamelessly and for money to many different outlets and you have clearly benefitted from it (read: all your recent handbag splurges). So please get some perspective, you may not like what they say, but can you really blame them for saying it? You are not only in the public sphere but you put yourself out there.. on purpose.. and the image that you created was your own doing so I don’t have empathy for you. Just grow up yourself and live with the consequences of your actions.

I’m using this as an example because it’s coherent (note the lack of expletives) and reflects common criticisms. Let’s clarify a few things:

1. I find it remarkable that people continue to say I’m promiscuous or that I’m promoting promiscuity. Save for a brief period of insanity last November, I am almost always sexually monogamous. With the exception of Kyle, I’ve been emotionally invested in every guy I’ve written about on the blog. Sure, I go on dates with different people but think about how many of them I’ve actually slept with. Unless your criteria for promiscuity is having sex, I’m really not promiscuous, especially as far as college students go.

2. Don’t even start to think there’s any monetary benefit to having this website. The cost of running it is about $200 upfront for two years. I’ve barely recouped the cost. Not exactly making a killing considering the amount of time I spend writing entries. Also, “all your recent handbag splurges” refers to exactly one handbag and disregards the fact that I — hallelujah — have a job.

3. I don’t think I’m selling myself anymore than your average memoirist. Guess what? Tons of writers write about their own lives. It’s not like I suddenly engaged in this totally illegitimate form of writing. Further, if I don’t feel ashamed of the fact that my life includes sex, depression, and a dislike for Harvard, then maybe my writing is shameless.

4. Can I “blame” anyone for treating me disrespectfully? Um, yes. Expecting basic courtesy from peers is like expecting guys not to hook up with you when you’re blackout drunk. Will they be tempted to scream things in your face or take advantage of the situation? Probably. Is it your fault if they do it? Do you deserve that behavior? Absolutely not. Way to eschew personal accountability.

5. Another thing: this blog and other writing endeavors? For the most part, unrelated. Don’t confuse the two.

I really didn’t even want to write all this but people leave ridiculous comments like the above all the time. Besides assuming things about my sex life (dead) and profit (none), they have this “you asked for it” attitude. On one hand, they ask me who the fuck I think I am — celebrity is Paris Hilton, not Lena Chen — but on the other, they’re the first to tell me shut up when I actually am accosted paparazzi-style by peers.

Look, there’s not exactly a precedent on campus for becoming well-known via blogging. So when I got started, I wasn’t any more naive about how things would turn out than … my friends. I don’t think anyone could say that I would be interviewed, propositioned, and recognized as rampantly as I have been. At this point, I’ve adjusted my life accordingly. I’ll answer questions asked nicely but I’m still going to get pissed off at people who fuck with me, and rightfully so. If you approach me with a handshake, a smile, and an introduction that doesn’t involve “So I was reading your blog …”, I’m usually okay with discussing this thing at some point in the conversation. If I’m rushing to class and you yell at me from across the street, I’m pretty much going to think you’re an asshole.

Disclaimer for those insisting on making the point: I am well aware of what comes up when my name is Googled. I don’t want to be an investment banker. I did a pro/con list a long time ago and decided the blog was worth more than a job at Goldman. Don’t think you’re making some brilliant observation about my corporate marketability.

http://sexandtheivy.com/2007/05/07/get-real/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8082117)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8082282)

At. A. Loss.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083210)

O RLY?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083219)

"Which isn’t to say that I broke the no-sex rule (let’s assume for a moment that oral doesn’t count)."

http://sexandtheivy.com/2007/05/08/partying-like-a-freshman/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083235)

That's like saying "unless your criteria for being a heroin addict is using heroin, I'm not really a heroin addict."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083458)

my response: b****** please

EDITED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083592)

He spelled the last one wrong, obviously.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=628500&forum_id=2#8083603)