any bros successfully 'reset' in late 20s?
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 29th, 2015 7:45 PM Author: Unholy laughsome laser beams dog poop
just feel like i've been in a multi-year rut. feel i desperately need to change career/city (or personality, lol) before its 2late.
did any of you bros feel similarly? if so what changes did you make to 'make it'.
fwiw i'm at 100k for F500 9-5 in a high CoL w/ no debt.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225779) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:15 PM Author: Dashing stage
i feel you bro. i'm not here to neg you. i want all XO brothers to succeed and be happy.
one thing that would help you is getting away from thinking of happiness/self-worth in relation to your career arc. it's a toxic way of thinking that has been ingrained in American males from birth. once you do the real work of living (letting go of fear, giving of yourself, really connecting with others in your community, making real lasting friendships) you will find happiness and my guess is that the career stuff will start to happen for you naturally.
you should definitely look into therapy if you haven't already.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225952) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:22 PM Author: Unholy laughsome laser beams dog poop
ty bro. one of the big reasons i keep coming back to XO is for the tough love i can't get anywhere else.
i know i am so fortunate to have such a good work situation that i even have time to focus on shit like emotional health.
but yeah, i strove and HYPS'ed and copped dat 'dream' gig and the question is 'now what?' everything looks great to everyone on the outside but feels so empty to me.
yeah have done therapy. also a lot of reading -- tillich's 'courage to be' really helped me. this one is great too:
http://www.amazon.com/Most-Important-Lesson-Ever-Taught/dp/144148549X
most important lesson no one ever taught me -- how I feel matters. just striving away you never develop self-awareness and that's what i need to do now. shrinks have all said the drinking needs to be taken care of before anything else can heal.
planning to take some time to go to rehab in about a month's time.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226001) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 9:51 PM Author: Unholy laughsome laser beams dog poop
this is it, bro. i'm a 6'3" HYPS bro pulling 100k. I should be on top of the world. i had a shrink tell me i am not selfish b/c selfish ppl love themselves. i hate myself.
my striving is a symptom of wanting others to love me and validate me because i hate myself and thought all the trophies and book prizes and phi beta kappas would solve dat problem. but part of me wants to be alky so i can empathize w/ my alky daddy. so the choice is empathize w/ him or hate him... or of course learn how to accept his mistakes and not repeat them lol that's the hard part!
drinking is def. a symptom, need to come to terms and get over the causes.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226638) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 7:48 PM Author: deranged nursing home genital piercing
what do you do in your free time
what don't you like about your job. what would you rather do
describe your romantic life
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225794) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 7:56 PM Author: Unholy laughsome laser beams dog poop
pretty much drink alone, play video games and xo.
my work is stable, fairly interesting, but meaningless. i want to do something to more significantly affect the (or another) company's success. crave something more high stakes. think i would be very happy in high-end sales.
just got out of a 1yr relationship. only significant relationship since college but it was a trainwreck. fucked/dated a few randos, but mainly avoidant for last 6 or so years.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225843) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:01 PM Author: Big brilliant striped hyena native
:)
If you're in a position to live for others, it is great advice, but I think OP is not quite there yet, mentally. And lots of people aren't there in a practical sense.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225870) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:02 PM Author: Lemon Den
I knew someone was going to retort with this.
No, it doesn't have to mean start a family or anything like that. What it meant for me was finding some kind of cause or path that was in the pursuit of something greater than myself. This can mean helping people through volunteer and charity, working for a non-profit, anything where you devote your time and energy to something other than feeding your own ego and selfish desires.
I know it sounds like flame at first, but if you have even a fraction of a decent soul in you then you will never be satisfied with a life of selfishness. It is a narcissistic prison you can never escape from.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225873)
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Date: June 29th, 2015 7:56 PM Author: Mewling underhanded heaven ceo
MBA maybe?
I'm not a fan personally but if you want a reset in your late 20s it's a good way to make it happen
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225844) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:01 PM Author: Unholy laughsome laser beams dog poop
my bro who had a good thing going quit and went to grad school for precisely this reason.
sitting alone in your apartment and watching your 401k inch upwards cannot be the apex of bachelorhood.
we're too young to be stagnating.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225871) |
Date: June 29th, 2015 8:02 PM Author: fear-inspiring indirect expression corner
LJLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
you will NOT maek it
killself now
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28225872) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 8:33 PM Author: Translucent Twinkling Uncleanness Mad-dog Skullcap
here it is. pumo, this is your life now.
sorry bro 28 year olds dont find "soul mates" or "true love" or even "a bitch maybe worth wifing."
the single girl of your dreams does not exist at your age. theres no female peer waiting to be your devoted true love. shes already loved and lost or was never capable of loving in the first place and in the "best case" scenario where she agrees to marry youll only ever be her husband accessory and sperm donor. youll never matter more to her than her granite countertops or exposed brick or shoe collection. and youll never truly know her or share a life of intimacy with her. just a checking account and and a netflix password.
that kind of marriage is for other people. like your grandfather. you remember him, right? the man who didnt meet a broken 30 year old shrew on tinder when he decided to start a family?
sorry. its just not how people are built and its definitely not how our society works. ljl at finding a pure of heart 29 year girlfriend you will love, honor and cherish for the rest of your life. ljl at knowing you want some bitch from jdate to be the mother of your children.
this is just as dumb (and sad) as poasters asking how to make new friends moving to a new city at age 34. oh wow what a difficult and confusing question! jk its actually really fucking simple because the answer is you cant make friends in a new city at age 32. people dont make friends--real friends who truly enrich their lives--at 32. they already have those friends and youre just a guy theyre being nice to or hanging out with to pass the time.
there are no solutions. you done fucked up if youre romantically/socially isolated at 30. its called life and it already happened for everyone else and youre just the dumbass who decided to start trying with a new job/city/okcupid profile like youre going to still maek it with a loving woman who is 31 and single but totally not broken or slutty.
and youre going to find a community of chill, loyal friends and neighbors who genuinely care about you and your family and it will finally be morning in pumo america!
but then again no.
it wont be morning in america in your 30s. youre aleady slipping down the slope of a life wasted and in your heart you know that. its not a question of what will happen. it happened. you missed your chance and its only getting worse. time only moves in one direction, faggot.
heres the only advice that can help you: hit the motherfucking reset button and hope your next life isnt the dumpster fire your current one is.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2721839&forum_id=2#26677661
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226077) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 9:18 PM Author: apoplectic coffee pot
first, I want you to acknowledge that making 100k in your 20s is a financial situation that many would literally kill someone to obtain. just acknowledge that for me, tyia.
next, it's pretty fucking abundantly clear what's causing it. we are bombarded since youth do follow our hearts, do what you love, the money will come. so when we go forth into the real world and realize that not only is "do what you love" extremely difficult, landing and keeping ho-hum job that you really hate is actually not that easy either.
so now we feel confused and guilty. "Why can't I do what what I love? Why won't anyone pay me to sing on vocaroo and post it on autoadmit? or write comic books?" and it spirals into a very dark place of self-loathing.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226399) |
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Date: June 29th, 2015 9:30 PM Author: apoplectic coffee pot
it's hard to remove yourself and analyze your subjective situation objectively.
there could be something you are incredible at (dancing, speaking Finnish, film editing) that you aren't even AWARE of because you've been striving so hard. you just don't know how to pursue or access those other things.
solution: eat some psylocibin
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226491)
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Date: June 29th, 2015 9:00 PM Author: blathering circlehead trailer park
Here's to an impending global catastrophe to RESET society for us!
*Cheersing*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226250) |
Date: June 29th, 2015 9:23 PM Author: Mustard corn cake
Some great advise ITT.
I'm in my 30s and in a private role but I did non profit work when I needed some meaning. It was 180. Advise you do it.
Also I was obsessed with chasing women. Once I stopes caring I was way more happy. Need to find happiness somehow but it's really hard to with women you meet at my age.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28226436) |
Date: June 30th, 2015 12:59 AM Author: Razzle spruce shrine elastic band
First of all, things got much better for me in my early 30's. I had more wisdom and was just in a more secure position in general. I have seen the same thing happen with others.
One thing that was very helpful to me was getting in shape. I played sports and so on in school, but it was completely different to learn about eating right, exercising in a way that will be sustainable throughout life, etc. It turned out that there was a lot of low hanging fruit in terms of my physical situation, so I managed to make progress fast. I feel better, but also the act of setting and achieving a goal is very encouraging and has helped me in accomplishing other goals.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28228196) |
Date: June 30th, 2015 9:14 AM Author: histrionic sienna ratface
great thread
threads like this bring out the boomer toxic flame response of stfu millennial no one loves what they do. ignore that sentiment.
i just turned 30. HYP-->t10-->v30 4th year. I have it on authority that i will not survive my next performance review-- and i couldn't be happier. I need to make major live changes. Im drowning myself in alcohol-poison every night, and dabbling in hard drugs and compulsive sex. Gonna quit biglaw and completely dry out, at least for a little, then live off my savings for a bit while i pursue passion projects. The ability to do a late-20s/early-30s reset is what gets me out of bed every morning. We can still maek it, brother.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2922720&forum_id=2#28229297) |
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