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THE BETAMORPHOSIS.

To be fair, PART I: One morning, as Gregor Samsa was w...
white incel milk
  06/28/09
Rofl!
Spectacular internal respiration liquid oxygen
  06/28/09
tyft
cream hairraiser foreskin resort
  06/28/09
Good effort, but a resemblance to Pudsmack's early output ma...
Galvanic Home
  06/28/09
naw man this was a solid 180, i loled pretty hard
bonkers piazza philosopher-king
  06/28/09
172. I will bump if I remember though. More stuff like this ...
Galvanic Home
  06/29/09
180 mOAR
Blathering church building pocket flask
  06/29/09
MOAR
Amber dashing meetinghouse
  06/29/09
190
Vermilion Theater
  06/29/09
...
Galvanic Home
  06/29/09
get a life faggot!
Glittery Mentally Impaired Sanctuary Legal Warrant
  06/29/09
This is serial killer talk.
lime church
  06/29/09
Smirnoff eh
Dun Juggernaut Native
  06/29/09
...
Galvanic Home
  06/29/09
...
white incel milk
  06/29/09
go on
Scarlet stead
  06/29/09
...
Galvanic Home
  06/29/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/02/09
...
bonkers piazza philosopher-king
  07/03/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/03/09
good use of chinese. should be gregor sam though, to sound m...
Judgmental office
  07/03/09
To be fair, ty
white incel milk
  07/03/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/05/09
...
Galvanic Home
  07/06/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/07/09
...
overrated heaven goal in life
  07/08/09
Holy shit how did I miss this?
Aquamarine Area
  07/19/09
Oh so incredibly clever!
lake laser beams
  07/19/09
120, don't ruin this thread like a bitter faggot just becaus...
Aquamarine Area
  07/19/09
It's stupid. Like you.
lake laser beams
  07/19/09
You forgot to say "Hi TBF!" Link to a better th...
Aquamarine Area
  07/19/09
...
Outnumbered pozpig pit
  07/19/09
Lame.
flirting property
  07/19/09
you're lame
Razzmatazz lettuce
  08/21/09
Bump for Ted Never forget
bonkers piazza philosopher-king
  07/28/09
a gem
yellow police squad party of the first part
  07/28/09
To me, this is one of those threads that should be bumped on...
bonkers piazza philosopher-king
  07/28/09
...
Avocado coffee pot
  07/28/09
180
Jade circlehead
  07/28/09
bump for bartards.
Pontificating hall mental disorder
  07/29/09
...
Galvanic Home
  08/03/09
...
Vermilion Theater
  08/03/09
A certified classic
overrated heaven goal in life
  08/04/09
...
Elite jap
  08/04/09
good stuff
Chartreuse Nofapping Locale Sneaky Criminal
  08/04/09
...
Galvanic Home
  08/08/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  08/14/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  09/18/09
People often posted "underrated" in regards to a t...
Jade circlehead
  09/18/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  09/19/09
i was thinking about bumping this last night
Galvanic Home
  09/19/09
180
Fishy Bbw
  09/19/09
...
Vermilion Theater
  09/20/09
...
overrated heaven goal in life
  10/02/09
180
cerise geriatric market black woman
  10/02/09
...
Razzmatazz lettuce
  10/03/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  10/13/09
Excellent bump
overrated heaven goal in life
  10/13/09
Bump
overrated heaven goal in life
  10/20/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  10/27/09
lol
swollen 180 immigrant
  10/27/09
good bump ty RIP Ted
Aquamarine Area
  10/27/09
he's still with us.
carmine dopamine
  11/24/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  10/31/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  11/15/09
Holy shit, hadn't seen this before. Frightening.
Navy field newt
  11/15/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  11/24/09
bump for English
overrated heaven goal in life
  11/29/09
...
carmine dopamine
  11/29/09
it's time again
overrated heaven goal in life
  12/04/09
...
cobalt stirring kitty cat
  12/06/09
...
Aquamarine Area
  12/06/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  12/12/09
this thread hasn't gotten the attention it deserved
Razzmatazz lettuce
  12/12/09
agreed, especially given its authenticity in the proper use ...
Maize Regret Degenerate
  12/12/09
180
offensive vigorous toilet seat
  12/12/09
bump for dipshit aspie noobs who think tbf doesn't post anyt...
nighttime codepig gaping
  12/20/09
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  12/28/09
SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY BUMP
soul-stirring lodge dragon
  12/28/09
DECADE BUMP
Blathering church building pocket flask
  01/01/10
bump
Razzmatazz lettuce
  01/06/10
This was scary. 180.
Frum sex offender
  01/06/10
180
Vibrant flatulent mad-dog skullcap
  01/06/10
A true 180
cerise geriatric market black woman
  01/06/10
bump
Aquamarine Area
  01/21/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  02/05/10
...
Carnelian brethren
  02/19/10
Bump for return of search
soul-stirring lodge dragon
  02/22/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  03/31/10
...
Razzmatazz lettuce
  03/31/10
...
Exhilarant hateful quadroon international law enforcement agency
  04/09/10
...
Avocado coffee pot
  04/09/10
...
provocative fear-inspiring mad cow disease trust fund
  04/17/10
...
Avocado coffee pot
  04/30/10
...
Razzmatazz lettuce
  04/30/10
...
Orange mexican
  05/11/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  05/17/10
Holy FUCK.
Jade circlehead
  05/17/10
...
Plum fragrant love of her life casino
  06/07/10
One of the all time greats
Drunken Beady-eyed Garrison
  06/07/10
since TBF is bumping all of his shit today
Shivering Seedy Forum
  07/03/10
...
titillating striped hyena
  07/17/10
Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM Author: To be fair To be ...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/17/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/17/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  08/06/10
...
twinkling useless brakes prole
  09/06/10
...
Razzmatazz lettuce
  10/16/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  10/17/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  12/19/10
Holy shit!
Nudist Beta Stag Film
  12/19/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  12/30/10
180 Where is part deux?
charismatic crackhouse ape
  12/30/10
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  01/27/11
180 bump
Exhilarant hateful quadroon international law enforcement agency
  02/23/11
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  05/07/11
u mad fgt
aphrodisiac principal's office
  05/07/11
...
Razzmatazz lettuce
  05/07/11
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  06/20/11
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  07/16/11
...
talented sweet tailpipe azn
  10/07/11
...
Indigo heady public bath
  10/21/11
...
Blathering church building pocket flask
  10/27/11
2012 BUMP
Blathering church building pocket flask
  01/01/12


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM
Author: white incel milk

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

"What's happened to me," he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before - when Samsa was still a successful ibanker - hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

"Oh God," he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it; he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. "Good God!" he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. "Teddy Chu-yu Huang," a sing-song voice called out, "Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, "Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni." Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquisitely bound feet.

As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. "Te-ddy...Te-ddy!," he called out, "Ni shenti hao ma?" And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - "CHU-YU!" Gregor directed an answer as best he could: "I go baba, xiexie." He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but rather congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111444)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:50 PM
Author: Spectacular internal respiration liquid oxygen

Rofl!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111526)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:53 PM
Author: cream hairraiser foreskin resort

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111559)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: Galvanic Home

Good effort, but a resemblance to Pudsmack's early output marks against it I think.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111598)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:58 PM
Author: bonkers piazza philosopher-king

naw man this was a solid 180, i loled pretty hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111609)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:16 AM
Author: Galvanic Home

172. I will bump if I remember though. More stuff like this needs to get rolling.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111800)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:02 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask

180

mOAR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111644)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:18 AM
Author: Amber dashing meetinghouse

MOAR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12111832)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:53 AM
Author: Vermilion Theater

190

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12112276)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:11 AM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113288)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:13 AM
Author: Glittery Mentally Impaired Sanctuary Legal Warrant

get a life faggot!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113290)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 3:13 AM
Author: lime church

This is serial killer talk.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113291)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 8:37 AM
Author: Dun Juggernaut Native

Smirnoff eh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12113401)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 12:17 PM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12114366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 5:55 PM
Author: white incel milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12117160)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 6:15 PM
Author: Scarlet stead

go on

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12117299)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 29th, 2009 8:32 PM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12118226)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 2nd, 2009 2:55 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12142269)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 2:46 PM
Author: bonkers piazza philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12149990)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 4:21 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12150972)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 6:01 PM
Author: Judgmental office

good use of chinese. should be gregor sam though, to sound more chinky

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12151754)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2009 6:03 PM
Author: white incel milk

To be fair,

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12151771)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 5th, 2009 3:55 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12162789)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 6th, 2009 2:06 AM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12168193)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 7th, 2009 6:43 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12181948)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 8th, 2009 5:21 PM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12190852)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:17 PM
Author: Aquamarine Area

Holy shit how did I miss this?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290616)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:17 PM
Author: lake laser beams

Oh so incredibly clever!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290619)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:20 PM
Author: Aquamarine Area

120, don't ruin this thread like a bitter faggot just because you hate the OP, thx

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290638)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:22 PM
Author: lake laser beams

It's stupid. Like you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290656)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:23 PM
Author: Aquamarine Area

You forgot to say "Hi TBF!"

Link to a better thread you've made? Also, burn in a housefire, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290667)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:18 PM
Author: Outnumbered pozpig pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290629)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 19th, 2009 9:23 PM
Author: flirting property

Lame.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12290669)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 21st, 2009 6:42 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce

you're lame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12561524)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:07 PM
Author: bonkers piazza philosopher-king

Bump for Ted

Never forget

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369382)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:09 PM
Author: yellow police squad party of the first part

a gem

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369389)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:09 PM
Author: bonkers piazza philosopher-king

To me, this is one of those threads that should be bumped once or twice a month forever.

This board must never forget.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369397)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:38 PM
Author: Avocado coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369579)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 28th, 2009 5:40 PM
Author: Jade circlehead

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12369595)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 29th, 2009 5:23 AM
Author: Pontificating hall mental disorder

bump for bartards.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12374631)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 3rd, 2009 4:38 PM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12415939)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 3rd, 2009 4:45 PM
Author: Vermilion Theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12416030)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 4:19 AM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life

A certified classic

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12421003)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 4:26 AM
Author: Elite jap



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12421010)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 4th, 2009 7:10 PM
Author: Chartreuse Nofapping Locale Sneaky Criminal

good stuff

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12425043)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 8th, 2009 7:13 PM
Author: Galvanic Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12456520)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 14th, 2009 4:45 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12504320)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2009 7:16 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12780245)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 18th, 2009 7:18 PM
Author: Jade circlehead

People often posted "underrated" in regards to a thread or post (sometimes within two minutes of its posting).

This, however, is perhaps the most deserving instance of "underrated."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12780265)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 5:52 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12787350)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 5:53 PM
Author: Galvanic Home

i was thinking about bumping this last night

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12787353)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 19th, 2009 10:47 PM
Author: Fishy Bbw

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12789205)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 20th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: Vermilion Theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12797253)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 2nd, 2009 11:58 AM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12888931)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 2nd, 2009 12:03 PM
Author: cerise geriatric market black woman

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12888980)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 3rd, 2009 3:56 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12898534)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2009 11:32 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12977038)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2009 11:33 AM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life

Excellent bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#12977045)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 20th, 2009 1:52 AM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life

Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13035043)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:54 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106091)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:56 PM
Author: swollen 180 immigrant

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106122)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2009 11:57 PM
Author: Aquamarine Area

good bump ty

RIP Ted

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13106138)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2009 4:55 PM
Author: carmine dopamine

he's still with us.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13358802)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 31st, 2009 12:54 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13137087)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 15th, 2009 8:04 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13274744)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 15th, 2009 8:15 PM
Author: Navy field newt

Holy shit, hadn't seen this before. Frightening.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13274843)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2009 4:50 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13358784)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2009 1:02 AM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life

bump for English

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13392864)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 29th, 2009 1:15 AM
Author: carmine dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13393026)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 4th, 2009 11:35 PM
Author: overrated heaven goal in life

it's time again

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13449448)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 6th, 2009 2:12 AM
Author: cobalt stirring kitty cat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13463243)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 6th, 2009 2:20 AM
Author: Aquamarine Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13463317)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 5:00 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13530818)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:11 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce

this thread hasn't gotten the attention it deserved

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531402)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:25 PM
Author: Maize Regret Degenerate

agreed, especially given its authenticity in the proper use of chinese

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531511)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 12th, 2009 6:23 PM
Author: offensive vigorous toilet seat

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13531503)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2009 3:54 AM
Author: nighttime codepig gaping

bump for dipshit aspie noobs who think tbf doesn't post anything cool

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13603201)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2009 1:36 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13663012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2009 3:56 PM
Author: soul-stirring lodge dragon

SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13665845)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2010 3:02 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask

DECADE BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13695105)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 3:36 AM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734665)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 4:25 AM
Author: Frum sex offender

This was scary. 180.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 4:47 AM
Author: Vibrant flatulent mad-dog skullcap

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734889)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 6th, 2010 5:11 AM
Author: cerise geriatric market black woman

A true 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13734910)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 21st, 2010 2:55 PM
Author: Aquamarine Area

bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#13870557)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 5th, 2010 12:45 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14020226)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 19th, 2010 9:56 PM
Author: Carnelian brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14175578)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2010 10:38 PM
Author: soul-stirring lodge dragon

Bump for return of search

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14206008)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2010 3:45 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14559420)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 31st, 2010 3:58 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14559506)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2010 12:17 PM
Author: Exhilarant hateful quadroon international law enforcement agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14654413)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 9th, 2010 12:21 PM
Author: Avocado coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14654456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 17th, 2010 6:54 PM
Author: provocative fear-inspiring mad cow disease trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14740396)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2010 10:16 PM
Author: Avocado coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14874272)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2010 10:27 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14874381)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 11th, 2010 12:24 AM
Author: Orange mexican



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#14960477)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 17th, 2010 7:36 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15015703)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 17th, 2010 7:41 PM
Author: Jade circlehead

Holy FUCK.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15015725)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 7th, 2010 2:24 AM
Author: Plum fragrant love of her life casino

...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15184494)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 7th, 2010 2:29 AM
Author: Drunken Beady-eyed Garrison

One of the all time greats

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15184535)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 3rd, 2010 2:27 PM
Author: Shivering Seedy Forum

since TBF is bumping all of his shit today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15405413)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 11:38 AM
Author: titillating striped hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15531186)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 11:47 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask

Date: June 28th, 2009 11:43 PM

Author: To be fair

To be fair,

PART I:

One morning, as Gregor Samsa was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been transformed into an Asian man. He lay on his dingy unwashed Hello Kitty sheets and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his tiny, emaciated yellow figure stretched out before him. His frail hairless legs, pitifully thin even compared to the rest of his boyish body, splayed out comically before his tiny nearsighted sliteyes like a splintered bamboo chopstick.

“What’s happened to me,” he thought. It was no dream. His room lay quietly between the four well-known walls. And above the table, on which a wide assortment of empty Smirnoff bottles had stood just the night before —Samsa was a successful ibanker— hung the picture of a familiar woman. It was a gorgeous Russian girl with a fur hat and a fur boa. She sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into which her entire forearm had disappeared, just as he had often disappeared into her muff after a night of heavy boozing. Yet this picture of Svetlana was not his; for this had been poorly cut out of an old Sports Illustrated issue, and was perilously attached to the greasy wall with a potent mix of dried semen, duct tape and profound desperation. And in the place of his hard earned bottle battalion there now stood an curious assortment of thick, strange tomes bearing odd titles - "Criminal Procedure", "Administrative Law", "Secured Transactions" and "TROL Spring 2009" - alongside three gently humming computers, all myseriously logged on to the same website. He immediately knew that he would never have the beautiful woman in the picture again.

“O God,” he thought. At that moment he felt a slight itching beneath the shaggy black carpet that coated his oily scalp. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so that he could lift his unsightly bulbous head up on his narrow pencil neck more easily, and found the itchy part, which rained down small white flakes as he scratched it — he did not know what to make of them.

He looked over at the alarm clock ticking away by the chest of drawers. “Good God!” he thought. It was half past six, and the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly quarter to. What should he do? Did he dare to face the world like this?

As he was thinking all this over in the greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed, there was a cautious knock on the basement door by the head of the bed. “Teddy Chu-yu Huang,” a sing-song voice called out, “Zao on, lice and shine now boy! You lazy boy!" Was it his mother...was he living at home again with his parents? Gregor was startled when he heard his voice answering. It was clearly and unmistakably his voice, but it was now markedly higher in pitch, marred by a grating Chinese accent which left the words grotesquely distorted so that one did not know if one had heard correctly. Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these circumstances he confined himself to saying, “Xiexie mama. I get up, woi ai ni.” Apparently satisfied, his mother shuffled off slowly on her tiny, exquistely bound feet. As a result of that short conversation, however, his father also became aware that his son was still at home, and already his he was knocking on one side door, weakly but with his fist. “Te-ddy...Te-ddy!,” he called out, “Ni shenti hao ma?” And, after a short while, he called out again in a whinier voice - “CHU-YU!” Gregor directed an answer as best he could: “I go baba, xiexie.” He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted long pauses between the individual words. His father turned back to his breakfast. Gregor had no intention of opening the door, but congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from years of sleeping around in his former life, of locking all doors during the night, even at home.

***

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15531215)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 17th, 2010 3:46 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15532826)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 6th, 2010 2:55 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15720850)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 6th, 2010 1:08 AM
Author: twinkling useless brakes prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#15975466)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 16th, 2010 4:56 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16309193)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2010 6:27 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16317199)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 19th, 2010 1:31 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16851644)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 19th, 2010 1:35 PM
Author: Nudist Beta Stag Film

Holy shit!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16851658)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2010 1:23 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16930974)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 30th, 2010 1:33 PM
Author: charismatic crackhouse ape

180

Where is part deux?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#16931027)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 27th, 2011 6:11 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17152199)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 23rd, 2011 7:03 PM
Author: Exhilarant hateful quadroon international law enforcement agency

180 bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17355148)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:00 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949147)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:04 PM
Author: aphrodisiac principal's office

u mad fgt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949169)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 7th, 2011 5:05 PM
Author: Razzmatazz lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#17949171)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 20th, 2011 11:31 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#18299150)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 16th, 2011 11:16 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#18526571)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 7th, 2011 9:19 PM
Author: talented sweet tailpipe azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19123502)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 21st, 2011 8:20 PM
Author: Indigo heady public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19217378)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 27th, 2011 6:57 PM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19253624)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 1st, 2012 3:12 AM
Author: Blathering church building pocket flask

2012 BUMP

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1029548&forum_id=2#19681497)