I have lost a ton of friends and family to death. It's shocking how many really close and good friends have died. The newest thing, which I never imagined could happen, is that some people have cut off all contact because of political differences. Several won't communicate at all and others have cooled noticeably. I actually thought some of these people were friends vs acquaintances. I have noticed that as people age their quirks seem to magnify (mine included). Maybe that's part of it.

It takes so much work to maintain relationships, even local ones, that many folks just slide away over time. But even then old friends sometimes appear out of nowhere. I just got a note this week from an old friend I haven't seen or heard from since 1989. He contacted me through Linkedin. We exchanged a few emails then went back into hibernation. I know a lot of people like that, whom I remember fondly but hardly ever contact. I guess that is a form of relationship. Sometimes I will start thinking about someone from long ago and try to find them and reach out. Sometimes it works, but sometimes not.

I have accumulated a not of mentees in my life and many of them contact me from time to time about career or personal issues. I always try to help if I can. Feeling useful, even if only slightly, is good.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4653160&forum_id=2#41130642)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KkKuTCFvzI&ab_channel=TED

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4653160&forum_id=2#41131109)

I suppose it's a subset of having relationships, but in my life I enjoy not just relating, but feeling useful. Maybe that's something that comes on after retirement.

I note that at my 50th college reunion, only 10% of the class were known to be dead. If you assume all the missing are also dead, it raises the death count to less than 20%, still well below what you would expect statistically. The vast majority of surviving classmates were married. Anecdotally, it looked like most of the early deaths were among people who were loners in college.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4653160&forum_id=2#41131658)

On the whole I support having kids. My childless friends seem unhappy to me (maybe I am compensating by hoping they are unhappy). My situation is an outlier and you are unlikely to be afflicted in such a way, but there are many difficulties even without frank mental illness.

I assume you are male, so I think it depends a lot upon what your wife thinks about it. Having kids is a major life style change and everybody has to be on board. We just assumed we were going to have kids (my wife has 9 siblings). If she had not been a SAHM all the time I'm not sure what it would have been like.

In spite of all the difficulties I would not want to be childless.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4653160&forum_id=2#41130703)