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Sometimes I feel like I've made so much progress, and then...
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:21 AM Author: Sapphire Corner ...my brain says the most ridiculous things. I'm a college student and I travel through a major city to get to bus or train lines to go home for vacation. I also visit friends there quite often, so I'm quite familiar with the public transit system on any day, at any hour. Sitting on the subway, going home for easter, I thought, "Why do I never get catcalled or threatened? Do I have a bitchface or am I really that unattractive?"
WTF brain. Here I thought I was doing a good job at consciousness-raising and looking at my biases and whatnot, but then this lovely spurt of patriarchy pops up. I'm not mad at myself because I instantly realized how ridiculous I sounded. I'm just mad that my culture would make me think that in the first place.
Anyone else experience this? |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:28 AM Author: curious ruby gaping sanctuary Oh darling, not every voice in your head is meaningful and worth listening to. Sometimes it's just like having a song stuck in your head, and there's nothing you can do except letting it pass.
That said, you really do have a bitchface and you are really that unattractive. |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:30 AM Author: Sapphire Corner That's the awful nature of our society. Even when you know that harassment is shitty, frightening, and wrong, it brainwashes you into thinking that you're lesser if you don't get it.
In a society where a woman's worth is so heavily based on her looks, we lose no matter which side of the objectification coin we fall on. You're either worth a lot as a sex object or worthless as a sex object, with little attention given to the fact that we're people. |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:33 AM Author: white vivacious area Unattractive women are not people. They're utilitarian beasts fit only for propagating the species and whatever they must do in order to self preserve. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22939968) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:39 AM Author: Sapphire Corner That's what society wants us to believe. I went to the strip club with my bf and I was so bothered by it. Ugh.
To start, I don't have any problem with women as exotic dancers, and think clubs where these women own their own labor (absolutely not the case at the club they went to) are pretty cool.
My issue is more that these are a group of guys that I really like, consider friends, and they decided to celebrate a 21st birthday this way. Where they go to a place where the owners are horrible and abusive and the men that patronize the place treat these women like objects, throw money at them and say awful things. And treat it like it's some sort of rite of passage, to go and objectify women (at a really shady club). That's completely unacceptable to me. I tried explaining this to him, and he's always very open to my thoughts on these things and he seemed to feel bad but I still don't feel ok. I don't know if I feel comfortable hanging out with all of those guys. I know I have my own hang-ups that are probably making this a bigger deal in my head than it should be, but I just feel completely unsettled, my blood pressure is really high right now (my coworkers belittling someone's OCD is not helping). I don't know what to do or how to better vocalize this. But unattractive women are people, it's just that society turns the attractive ones into objects. |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:47 AM Author: white vivacious area I admitedly took an extreme stance in order to provoke you but your anecdote shows a failure to consider the role that agency plays in the objectification of beautiful women. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940010) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:58 AM Author: white vivacious area (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940056) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:35 AM Author: curious ruby gaping sanctuary The meaning of your life is no more defined by objectification than, say, some tribal mindsets in africa. If you pay it no mind and don't buy into the frame that it's trying to impose on you, then it has no power over you. Just because the voice passes through your head doesn't mean you are responsible for it. It's like having your car being hit by a truck from behind and ended up rearing end the car in front of you.
That said, you are taking yourself way too seriously. Why do you think you are not worthless anyway? |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 10:43 AM Author: Sapphire Corner I get catcalled very, very rarely. Like maybe less than once a year, and it's always someone shouting from a distance or in the safety of their cars (or even once, hiding) but never to my face. In contrast, I have an friend who's been like a magnet for creeps and stalkers since high school, like really direct harassment every day. Thing is, we look really similar in terms of weight, facial structure, etc, and we live in the same area. There must be some other factors that come into play when harassers decide who to target and how they do it. I have the suspicion that harassers are like bullies, only going after people they perceive as weak.
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Date: April 5th, 2013 11:16 AM Author: curious ruby gaping sanctuary wow do you see what you just did? this has to be flame... (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940123) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 11:21 AM Author: Sapphire Corner No what are you saying? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940148) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 11:57 AM Author: curious ruby gaping sanctuary i asked you why do you consider yourself not worthless ON YOUR OWN TERMS, and you go right around talking about the reason you don't get catcalled as often
god you are hopeless |
Date: April 5th, 2013 10:31 AM Author: Disturbing Cumskin neat shtick (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22939964) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 11:01 AM Author: Carmine Field Tank lol i'm a guy and i get catcalled more than you
post a pic |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 11:19 AM Author: Sapphire Corner No this place is toxic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940140) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 12:13 PM Author: awkward mind-boggling windowlicker lol at this flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940402) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 12:14 PM Author: awkward mind-boggling windowlicker LOL some very elementary Ragnusing reveals which infamous poaster this is. bro, you are seriously deranged (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22940407) |
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Date: April 5th, 2013 9:27 PM Author: Sapphire Corner ? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#22943313) |
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Date: June 8th, 2026 6:18 PM Author: gaetan dugas jfc doobs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2221415&forum_id=2#49923612) |