Date: December 27th, 2024 7:15 PM
Author: cock of michael obama
i posted this awhile back in some other thread but can't find it. i wrote this months ago so we'll see if i even remember who each one is. it's part of an unpublished substack post about the greatboart which i think should probably remain unpublished if or until zozo ever goes down permanently - I am open to feedback otherwise if you think it ok
1. A homosexual biglaw partner who has pretended to be a grocery store manager and he’s kept up the shtick for a decade, while writing fake news articles mocking shitlib beliefs that have since been superseded by shitlibs becoming so crazy that he can’t mock them anymore;
2. A poster who apparently suffered a brain injury in an industrial accident and he’s been posting like he has extreme and debilitating autism/brain damage since then, but it may be a shtick of #1 and he may be brilliant;
3. A very popular poster who replies “I’m gay” to everything and has a very chilled and relaxed demeanor even though he’s straight;
4. A robot-like and glitched-out Nazi poster who accuses everyone of being Jewish even as he’s made a fortune investing in cryptocurrency and Tesla, and he views Elon Musk as a God;
5. A magical little Asian poster who told everyone about cryptocurrency early in 2017 and made a fortune in it, and also called the rise of Solana before it happened — he made a number of other posters extremely rich, although not me because I distrusted the Tether fraud too much (and still do);
6. An American Indian poster who retired into Asia in his 30s, travels the world, he bought a boat without knowing how to sail and sold it at a loss, grew from being philo-semitic to anti-semitic, and may have been arrested in Iran as an American spy (he wasn’t, he just got scared);
7. A 90 IQ idiot who posts endless Russian death videos, calling them “orcs”, to the point everyone hates him including those who support Ukraine (which aren’t that many);
8. A braggart sociopathic but friendly lawyer who makes many millions of dollars a year as an ambulance chasing PI attorney - he raised up two other posters with him by hiring them, including one who regularly posted about suicide as a low-paid insurance defense attorney before that;
9. A forever-online brown immigrant transsexual poster, recently trans-married and possibly divorced, who regularly invites posters to its discord for what seems like grooming and who once brought an army of new trans-posters to rig Mega Poster Madness;
10. A Texas based construction worker who had sex and got STDs from one of the few remaining female posters;
11. A chaste religious Asian woman who only wants to date Chad but who can’t attract or keep him;
12. An extremely poor felon with regular recidivism who keeps going back to prison;
13. A programmer and failed former candidate for local election who claims to make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year even though he has massive unpaid credit card bills and other creditors and has terrible credit, while still eating lots of steak dinners and frivolously suing former landlords;
14. A bald old man retired comfortably in his 70s who tells great stories while having two schizophrenic children and a sexless wife who he supports;
15. A spastic 40 year old Jewish man obsessed with endless casual sex and drug use;
16. A 40 year old Korean American living in Korea and stuck frozen in adolescence where all he wants to do is have transactional sex with women and who writes like a mentally broken sociopath;
17. A tattoo’d small runner who has an eating disorder and who is too thin;
18. A schizophrenic Q-believing guy working in government and focused on admin law;
19. A 100-IQ Muslim who might be secretly Jewish who endlessly rants about the Israel/Palestine conflict in favor of Palestine;
20. A tall guy who is apparently normal looking who goes on endless dates but who can’t get laid or find a partner no matter how hard he tries, a mystery;
21. A genius balding beta male who writes unpublished horror fiction and just got divorced;
22. A hyper-genius, liked by everyone, who drops in and out of the forum as he pleases, but he usually tries to “cram” for December’s Mega Poster Madness to see who the “best” poster of the prior year was by posting only a couple months in its lead-up;
23. A number of trash shitlib posters so the forum doesn’t descend into groupthink;
24. A 100 IQ Brazilian business owner and religious man who blindly followed Q for many years, never admitting he was wrong;
25. A poster obsessed with posting photos of dogs and quoting Chesterton who disappears for long stretches of time;
26. An obese 6’4”+ giant who is a weak and blubbering buffoon;
27. A poster who’s a sex addict with his wife and needs that sex for 4+ hours a day even with his work and other obligations;
28. A poster accused of some horrible misdeeds and he inadvertently feeds into them with endless strange and off-colored remarks;
29. Another poster who grew up religious but who hates his parents and whose multiple children became transsexuals, taking irreversible drugs and possibly surgery and which makes him a monster imo; but at the same time he apparently saved the board from a lawsuit by another transsexual poster who wanted to sue for defamation or slander;
30. A right wing homosexual, depressed D.C. accountant who can’t find a partner;
31. A smart, driven active duty soldier obsessed with physical fitness and with barely suppressed rage;
32. A poster, possibly retired due to taking a fake bet seriously, who works on Wall Street and makes multiple seven figures a year and rants endlessly about Jews, except if they convert to Christianity then they become acceptable;
33. A divorced construction worker who lives out of his car;
34. Another Elon-obsessed Twitter fanboy who thinks the ultra-elites will allow him into their orbit because he possesses some sort of unique "truth" that no one else possesses, while living in his car;
35. A gregarious wealthy New Yorker who claims to be straight and to love Trump even as he hopes Trump fails and who has what amounts to an obsession with sexual deviance in multiple forms, especially transsexuals;
36. An extremely wealthy trust fund half-Jew with tits who spends his life endlessly traveling and feuding online with the ultra-poor felon poster and whose money comes from Daddy's ultra-high profile litigation;
37. A poster possibly responsible for Clique Theory who is obsessed with video game systems and eclectic movies and has sometimes claimed to be 6’10” tall;
38. A guy who claims to live in the Pacific Northwest, a bet welcher with more alt accounts than one can count who loves to stir up drama and feud and who hates crypto success stories and irrationally disbelieves them; and
39. A sexually confused poor sensitive academic with two moms who suffered a debilitating brain injury that left him in a month-long coma and now wants to go to law school.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5655483&forum_id=2#48493716)