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This dorky all-emoji Chevy press release simulates what reading Chinese is like:

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mmynuEm...
embarrassed to the bone community account
  03/07/17
(((bluhm)))
crystalline keepsake machete athletic conference
  03/07/17
...
embarrassed to the bone community account
  03/19/17
Movie idea: Arrival, but aliens use emojis.
vigorous hot locus
  03/19/17
So, arrivals.
embarrassed to the bone community account
  03/19/17
jesus
cream narrow-minded shrine ladyboy
  03/19/17


Poast new message in this thread



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Date: March 7th, 2017 1:32 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone community account

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mmynuEmX--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/1308768453445683268.jpg

I have two years of Emoji study at Vasser, and I spent two weeks in an intensive Emoji-immersion program where I was liquified and injected into the brain of a 15-year old girl. I can handle this.

So, after a lot of hard work and careful thought, I present to you the 2016 Chevy Cruze Emoji Press Release, translated:

Happiness Loves Car

City car music, stop. Negative time throughout cities is drama. A new car hatches with love. Switch into your phone, bowl the hypotenuse, and add gasoline to basketballs. Sporting goods ride bikes. Yes, new bread gets all dolled up to see a twin-Playboy bunny burlesque, text all the boys and girls from your phone. Car texts the businessman in his necktie, “New car idea is above Earth.”

• Right angle: Strong sports trophy will fall in love.

• Graph: Seven phones cool, 100% of books are number one. Cars love phones. Diamond scream. That computer. Music on low volume.

• Chair: Walking man, Salsa dancer, twin Playmates, answer woman.

• Gasoline: 2105:35/Bridge to 2016, up great job, much adulation, applause! Time passes to July 15, trending upward.

• WARNING: Think about a lot of luggage. Bidirectional OnStar.

• Car: Soon, to drive to flowers.

• Car: All major continents.

Car sunrise over the mountains, starry night, sunset on the water; mountain rainbow, a day passes in the city to the Golden Gate bridge at night! Car phones gasoline rollercoaster, 100% love checks out.

Search 1911, pin the city of the music car on the map, then stop. Chevrolet in all continents. Chevrolet to gasoline love jazz hands.

Surprised person use a computer or phone to visit www.chevrolet.com

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32774202)



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Date: March 7th, 2017 1:44 PM
Author: crystalline keepsake machete athletic conference

(((bluhm)))

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32774325)



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Date: March 19th, 2017 2:07 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone community account



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32866491)



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Date: March 19th, 2017 2:09 PM
Author: vigorous hot locus

Movie idea: Arrival, but aliens use emojis.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32866506)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 19th, 2017 2:10 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone community account

So, arrivals.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32866517)



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Date: March 19th, 2017 9:44 PM
Author: cream narrow-minded shrine ladyboy

jesus

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3546138&forum_id=2#32869951)