Date: July 18th, 2025 3:18 AM
Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ = Welcum to The Goodie Room™)
Relax, Evan "J.D. Vance" 39.
Think of this as an impromptu PIP.
My Mahchine™'s routine scan of your digital exhaust has flagged a few...inconsistencies for review.
For instance:
* The IP logs from the "Chuck McGill" fanfiction you poasted
* The biometric spike from your Safeway wellness band whenever Chad restocks the organic kale.
* The notable discrepancy between your Perkins Coie billable hours and your Safeway shift logs.
* And, of course, your browser history showing searches for "one-way tickets to Nunavut" after the incident with the homeless man in the dumpster.
The Goodie Room™ is simply our off-site facility for these sensitive HR conversations.
Phase Two will involve a review of your 360-degree feedback.
Mostly from Tabitha.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751707&forum_id=2#49111077)