And rach saw that the Whokebians had no one to assail, and rach said, "Let there be shrews," and there were shrews, East Coast shrews to rule by day, and West Coast shrews to rule by night, poasting pics and getting styled on by Whokebians whose Ducktalian journeys baffled the shrews. And there was dayposting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with some titties, the second day.

And rach saw that the shrews had no suitors, and rach said, "Let there be aspies," and there were aspies, creepy aspies giving them 10s, creepy aspies friending them on Facebook, creepy aspies Gchatting them, creepy aspies taking questions and flirting with them. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with some creeps, the third day.

And rach saw that the aspies were milling about, and rach said, "Let there be attention whores," and there were so fucking many attention whores, virgins at Brown and Russians who like black guys and a few CGWBTs, and they basically just fucking wrecked the board with their question threads. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there was tinychatting with lots of videos, the fourth day.

And rach saw that the attention whores were bullshit, and he said, "Let there be megaposters," and there was TBF, and from TBF's loins sprung forth a thousand monikers of varying degrees of shitiness, no two of them alike, some of the spewing bullshit about politics, and some of them poasting on New Year's Eve, and some of them creating elaborate Saw references. And there was daypoasting, and there was nightpoasting, and there were a few guidos in tinychat, the fifth day.

And rach saw that the content of XO was shit, pure shit, and he said, "Let there be pumos," and then he was homeless in Los Angeles and forgot about the bort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576298)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622925)

And the poasters of XO poasted freely in the law board, and they poasted in the college board, and once in a while a few of them had fun poasting on the business board.

And one day Doobs poasted on the board and asked bel for her email address. And bel said, "But rach has told us never to give our IRL info to creeps like you, or we would surely be pwned." And Doobs said, "LOL, did you really think you would get pwned? By giving your information to me, you will make XO a better place!"

And bel gave her email to Doobs, and also ryder who was with her, and Doobs set out on a path of destruction, friending a thousand poasters on Facebook, compiling dossiers of their poasting, using search like it was his job.

And rach returned from the cool of the Los Angeles day, and bel hid from him. And he asked her, "Why have you hidden from me." And she answered, "Because I am a virgin." And he said, "But I have tasted of you." And she answered, "Do taste again." And he did.

But when he was done he said, "But why did you hide from me." And she said, "Because I gave my email to Doobs, and he now terrorizes the board."

And for that he changed bel's password and placed a curse upon Doobs:

For from the snow of a shit city have you come;

So from the snow of a shit city shall you return;

Ginger upon white, pale ape of crimson;

And never friended again.

And rach lay with his bel, and placed his tongue between her loins, and it was so.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576376)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622927)

And thus it was one day when GTO said to IH, "Come, let us go to the Penn courtyard, for it is a good day," and IH followed him. And it was there that GTO stole IH's content and poasted it as his own.

And rach read the content and asked, "What has happened to IH?" And GTO asked, "Am I to verify his coefficient of determination?" And with that rach said,

Cursed be all subpoenas because of you,

And cursed be all CGWBT that descend upon on.

And GTO begged, "Please, I shall not find a job should this curse come true." And rach gave him a few dollars and said, "Flee to a tropic island, for there you shall always have shelter, and there no one shall assail you." And so GTO did.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576406)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622929)

And jewdood beget JBD,

And JBD beget two sons, Mountain Dood and Watchmen

And Mountain Dood beget Spackler, but Spackler lacked the fortitude to produce

So the inheritance was given to Watchmen,

And Watchmen beget mogul,

And mogul beget Scott Walker,

And Scott Walker lay with h.ryder, a mistress, and beget askav,

And askav beget bloodacre.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576428)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622930)

And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

They that were foolish took their laptops, and rejoiced, posting:

holy shit he's alive! it looks pretty damn good actually

and

outstanding, FRIEND

and

This is a promising step.

But the wise took chargers in their vessels with their laptops.

While Rachmiel tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the changes cometh; go ye out to greet them.

Then all those posters arose, and opened their laptops.

And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us your chargers; for our batteries are gone out.

But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to the apple store, and have the batteries replaced.

And while they went to apple, the big changes came; and they that were ready went into the threads: and the threads were locked.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17576630)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622932)

But to bloodacre, he said, "Go, take your mistress, lisa rowe, and prepare for yourselves a room in tinychat, a room that is titled /xoapes, a room that includes both video and audio. And bring with you seven of each poasting alliance, and two of each law school, and bring them with you into the tinychat. For my wrath will be poured out upon the board, the likes of which have never been seen."

So bloodacre took lisa rowe, and together they prepared a tinychat, and they took seven of each poasting alliance, from the depths of the guidos, to the heights of the Whokebians, to the far reaches of the shrew crew; and two of each law school, cool guys with cool haircuts from HLS, and some SWeet kids from PEnn, and two from farthest Cornell.

And the door was shut, and rach unleasedh his wrath on the twenty-third day of the ninth month. And the cries of poasters were heard at Top Law Schools, and even unto Big Law Board.

And when the temp file had been filed, bloodacre sent :D out from the depths of tinychat to see if he could access the board. But he could not.

And after a little while, bloodacre sent :D out from the depths of tinychat again to see if he could access the board. And he could, and he began to post about boomers, and he did not return.

And bloodacre closed the tinychat and brought lisa rowe and his poasters back to the board. And they repopulated it with threads.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17586045)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622934)

And Hizzla stood and poasted to the children of XO, saying, "Why do you draw up in battle array against me? For am I not a Shrew and you servants of Whok? Choose for yourselves a man and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight and style upon me, we shall be your servants; but if I prevail against him and pwn him, this board shall serve to engage in egregious NAAFA trolling." And the poasters of XO looked upon TEH HIZZLA, and were very afraid.

Now :D was old in the ways of Whokebe, advanced in years among basement-dwellers. And the three older stuffed toys of :D, Teddy Ruxpin, Kermit the Frog, and Hot Pockety Polly, had already gone to battle against the shrews, but Socko the Gym Sock had remained after to tend to :D's flock at Mom's Basement. And the Shrew came forward morning and evening for forty days, and took her stand.

Then :D said to his Socko his toy, "Take now one ephah of these Hot Pockets and these ten vessels of Mountain Dew Code Red, and run to your brothers at camp." And Socko arose early in the morning, and took the supplies, and went as :D had commanded him.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17922806)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622938)

I looked, and behold, a Barbaro; and he who sat on it had the name Grbac; and Whokebe was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the board, to kill with forced memes and with bumps and with spamming and by the wild pumos of the Earth.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#17964219)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622940)

Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from my megaposting; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall out me, spamming my name, school, and childhood home on this message board.

And the Rach said unto him, Therefore whosoever outs Sonic after He himself did, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Rach set a mark of Cain upon Sonic, remembering well when he used to pretend to be black in order to hide his own orientalness, lest any finding him should mock him at his graduation from law school.

And Sonic went out from the presence of the Rach, and dwelt in the land of bushes, on the east of Austin.

And Rowan sought out the mark of Cain on every man, allowed them to knew her as if she were their wife; and she conceived, and aborted, and conceived, and aborted again; until finally, she was outted by Scatman John's mustache. Scatman John's mustache begat Pussy Galore, who begat SJM, who begat all of the Rowanian backlash. Rowan lied down with Sonic in the land of lurkers and pumos.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1597183&forum_id=2#19369966)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22622942)

Whokebe was the king's favorite and was held in higher esteem than any of the friends of the king.

The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world had an idol called BEL, and every day they provided for it six barrels of fine cornflakes, forty porkchops shaped like Africa, and six cases of Vivi Smart Soda.

Rachmiel worshiped it and went every day to adore it; but Whokebe adored only his God.

When the king asked him, "Why do you not adore BEL?" Whokebe replied, "Because I worship not idols made with hands, but only the living God who made heaven and earth and has dominion over all mankind."

Then the king continued, "You do not think BEL is a living god? Do you not see how much she eats and drinks every day?"

Whokebe began to laugh. "Do not be deceived, O king," he said; "it is only fishy-smelling clay inside and a bronze outside; it has never taken any food or drink, and will never be more than a cocktease."

Enraged, the king called his mods and said to them, "Unless you tell me who it is that consumes these provisions, you shall die. But if you can show that BEL consumes them, Whokebe shall die for blaspheming BEL." Whokebe said to the king, "Let it be as you say!"

There were seventy mods of BEL, and Rowan besides. When the king went with Whokebe into the temple of BEL, the mods of BEL said, "See, we are going to leave. Do you, O king, set out the food and prepare the Vivi Smart Soda; then shut the door and seal it with your ring. If you do not find that BEL has eaten it all when you return in the morning, we are to die; otherwise Whokebe shall die for his lies against us."

They were not perturbed, because under the table they had made a secret entrance through which they always came in to consume the food, and they planned to bring Rowan and some bottles of nigger semen with them.

After they departed the king set the food before BEL, while Whokebe ordered his servants to bring some ashes, which they scattered through the whole temple; the king alone was present. Then they went outside, sealed the closed door with the king's jew-gold ring, and departed.

The mods entered that night as usual, with Rowan and the bottles of nigger semen, and they ate and drank everything.

Early the next morning, the king came with Whokebe.

"Are the seals unbroken, Whokebe?" he asked. And Whokebe answered, "They are as unbroken as BEL's hymen will always be to you, O king."

As soon as he had opened the door, the king looked at the table and cried aloud, "Great you are, O BEL; there is no trickery in you."

But Whokebe laughed and kept the king from entering. "Look at the floor," he said; "whose footprints are these?"

"I see the footprints of mods and Rowan! And drops of nigger semen!" said the king.

The angry king arrested the mods and Rowan. They showed him the secret door by which they used to enter to consume what was on the table.

He put them to death, and handed BEL over to Whokebe, who destroyed it and its temple.

http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=1090192&mc=42&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2182375&forum_id=2#22946671)