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XO Movie Critic: “Glass Onion” and “White Noise”
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Date: January 14th, 2023 11:50 PM Author: mischievous stage fortuitous meteor Glass Onion is good. Convoluted but entertaining murderish mystery. Daniel Craig is pretty funny in a different sort of role.
White Noise sucks. It’s ok until it’s third act and then it becomes absolute garbage. Really a bad film. Not really worth spending more words on. |
Date: January 14th, 2023 11:51 PM Author: Ebony Twisted Station Background Story Glass Onion fucking sucked. It was boring and the dialogue was written by a 5th grader. I barely finished it. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45790973) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:12 AM Author: mischievous stage fortuitous meteor That is overly harsh. It was entertaining. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791032) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:23 AM Author: Vivacious startled reading party They were both really really bad. I get what glass onion was trying to critique but it fell flat terribly. Shame considering knives out was a TRIUMPH. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791067) |
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Date: January 14th, 2023 11:53 PM Author: thriller useless brakes spot anyone who liked glass onion should be guillotined (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45790978) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:15 AM Author: stimulating sick gas station hominid It had some (very mildly) amusing bits but I maintain that even aside from the heavy political commentary, the murder mystery makes no sense - which is like the most basic element of the murder mystery.
What % of people were supposed to pick up that Dave Bautista was killed the way he was killed?
The motive made 0 sense. "He killed him so it wouldn't get out the other lady was really dead!" -- Why did it make a difference if they found out then or 2 days from then? |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:25 AM Author: racy deranged foreskin Her twin sister was there impostering (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791074) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 9:48 AM Author: stimulating sick gas station hominid But they would have found that out like days later?
Like explain to me what you think would've happened if he hadn't killed Dave Bautista, and how killing Dave Bautista cured those problems? |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 10:58 AM Author: fighting faggot firefighter Dave Bautista had unique knowledge of ed norton's guilt. It was that, not just him finding out slightly early about the negress being dead.
If you're point is that ed norton should have waited to kill bautista, maybe, but if you're going to kill a guy either way then the marginal benefit of not giving everyone with knowledge of the situation an addition several days together to collaboratively reflect on it might reasonably outweigh the marginal detriment of being able to think up a better way to kill the guy, particularly given that bautista may well use that time to go and build up some insurance against being killed. |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:54 PM Author: stimulating sick gas station hominid I must've missed that. What did Bautista know that the others did not? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45792484) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 1:06 PM Author: fighting faggot firefighter He was first to arrive and saw ed norton leaving the scene in his porsche. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45792520) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 5:25 PM Author: stimulating sick gas station hominid But was the plan always to kill him?
Because he would've found out eventually that she died? And really, why wouldn't Norton have assumed Bautista would've found out earlier. He just thought no one would ever check in on that lady and realize she was dead?
None of it makes sense. |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 9:11 PM Author: fighting faggot firefighter Yeah that's a good point. Maybe we're supposed to believe that that norton only realized it was bautista he almost hit on his bike when bautista made that comment in the pool.
To be clear, the movie sucked ass and was weird. My sole reservation is that my wife liked it; she's normally pretty picky but she LOVED the first one and I think her view was colored by that. |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 10:18 AM Author: fear-inspiring whorehouse I solved it as soon as he took a sip, but it’s a much used murder mystery trope. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791853) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 12:16 AM Author: Azure haunted graveyard school (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791048) |
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Date: January 14th, 2023 11:58 PM Author: Khaki immigrant (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45790999) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 9:57 AM Author: Razzle-dazzle Pit Associate Glass Onion is intolerable trash. Anyone who doesn't turn it off within 15 minutes is certified reddit-tier dumb (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791798) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 10:17 AM Author: fear-inspiring whorehouse It’s quite bad. Almost none of the charm and laughs of the first one (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45791848) |
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Date: January 15th, 2023 9:14 PM Author: flushed glittery stage corn cake I didn’t like Glass Onion. Rian Johnson doesn’t know how to write characters imo. Also Daniel Craig’s “southern” accent is not convincing (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45794530) |
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Date: January 20th, 2023 5:50 PM Author: Boyish famous landscape painting It was such a painful use of talented actors. The real murder mystery is why Rian Johnson keeps getting work after being given amazing ingredients and cooking up shit, time after time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45817613) |
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Date: January 20th, 2023 6:19 PM Author: flushed glittery stage corn cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45817721) |
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Date: January 20th, 2023 6:20 PM Author: milky balding cuckold corner What about The Menu? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#45817726) |
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Date: February 17th, 2025 7:28 PM Author: cool moniker that movie sucked (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#48669815) |
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Date: February 17th, 2025 7:35 PM Author: young Boasthard hated both glass onion and knives out, though knives out was a little better. funny because I actually remember liking Brick a lot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#48669825) |
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Date: February 22nd, 2025 11:05 PM Author: bigtree Glass onion — black chick is the REAL brains behind Elon musk, who is dumb and murderous. And black chicks twin is even better detective than Benoit Blanc.
Also, it’s righteous when black chick chimps out and burns the original Mona Lisa for “justice”
It’s literal white / western suicide propaganda. Is this “Rian” person (( ))? |
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Date: February 23rd, 2025 2:34 AM Author: Pumonymous Rian Johnson isn’t Jewish, but his wife is (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#48686067) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2025 2:44 AM Author: Trump Did Nothing Wrong when he abandoned Ukraine (gunneratttt) it's mildly entertaining midwittery mascarding as a smart movie made worse with a ham-fisted woke angle.
watched it recently and it's a great watermark for the woke COVID era where libs starting doing victory laps prematurely.
i do like mysteries and like that knives out ushered in a resurgence. rian ruins everything he touches tho, sadly. |
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Date: February 23rd, 2025 8:04 AM Author: Judas Jones (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#48686218) |
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Date: February 23rd, 2025 8:43 AM Author: bigtree The murder mystery is the thinnest of veneers over the point:
White tech billionaire (villain) stole every idea from WOC White legacy character (hero) constantly worships WOC (“you’re the best detective I’ve ever seen!”)
That’s the entire movie.
And as I wrote above, the WOC gets justice by consciously destroying the ML, as the remaining whites cheer and actually say “Go Girl!” and “Hell yes!”
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Date: February 23rd, 2025 8:38 AM Author: "'''''"'""'''"'"' Counterpoint: Knives Out and Glass Onion were absolute dog shit when, on paper, a murder mystery with a great cast should always be entertaining (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5271002&forum_id=2#48686254) |