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A Biglaw Summer (by Johnsmeyer)

You're a biglawyer "A Big Day Today!" Youre ...
awkward soul-stirring stain set
  04/21/16
...
Contagious Hyperventilating Ratface
  04/21/16
much like tarantino, its always great when johnsmeyer releas...
rusted indian lodge
  04/21/16
...
gold hall brethren
  04/21/16
idk my head hurts from laughing at this for a full 30 second...
Contagious Hyperventilating Ratface
  04/21/16
(Guy who is high)
180 federal step-uncle's house
  04/21/16
Nah this is good. Early johnsmeyer released a lot of medioc...
Bull headed space jewess
  04/21/16
...
Spruce becky sanctuary
  04/21/16
...
Translucent whorehouse psychic
  04/21/16
...
primrose buck-toothed locale bbw
  04/21/16
...
Slap-happy pistol black woman
  04/21/16
...
very tactful keepsake machete public bath
  04/21/16
legit 180
cyan stag film wrinkle
  04/21/16
See, the problem with modern society is that girls like this...
cyan stag film wrinkle
  04/21/16
JUDGE FRANCIS AWAITS
ocher haunting gay wizard
  04/21/16
...
french ticket booth
  04/03/25
...
Canary exciting spot
  04/03/25
...
Racy ultramarine skinny woman
  04/21/16
Legit as fuckk 180
bateful lake faggot firefighter
  04/21/16
c'mon fools, where's the love? Johnsmeyer is this generatio...
cyan stag film wrinkle
  04/21/16
...
bateful lake faggot firefighter
  04/21/16
...
awkward soul-stirring stain set
  04/22/16
...
glassy histrionic orchestra pit
  04/21/16
...
bateful lake faggot firefighter
  04/21/16
LMfao 180!
internet-worthy slate area
  04/21/16
lmao 180. imagine how IRATE chicks would be to get moles...
nighttime personal credit line stage
  04/21/16
180
Red garrison fat ankles
  04/21/16
ending was a let down but the rest is 180
dun field pocket flask
  04/21/16
...
Know-it-all Striped Hyena
  04/21/16
...
awkward soul-stirring stain set
  04/21/16
...
Scarlet Insane Bawdyhouse
  04/21/16
...
Citrine misanthropic home place of business
  04/21/16
...
Cerise fluffy people who are hurt son of senegal
  04/21/16
ty
floppy nubile dopamine hissy fit
  04/21/16
...
awkward soul-stirring stain set
  04/21/16
EPIC
Red garrison fat ankles
  04/22/16
...
Infuriating underhanded market
  04/03/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:31 AM
Author: awkward soul-stirring stain set

You're a biglawyer

"A Big Day Today!"

Youre going to court

To the southern district

To beg for an extension

"Oh Living the dream!"

Your argument is ready

Your Allen Edmonds are shined,

"Judge Francis awaits! To the Magistrate I go!

Can't fuck this up! This is my big day!"

But on the subway you see

A girl in short shorts

She's definitely a teen!

High school or college?

"Her eyes are so green!"

She gets off at Canal.

"Should I follow her or not?

Judge Francis awaits!"

Fuck it.

You get off that train

And follow her out

You take out your phone

To take "just one snap"

With your camera out

You follow her up,

Three steps behind

That really big butt

Popping out of the shorts

"I got three good ones!"

By the time you get out

You're starting to sweat

You look at your watch

"She's only 5 steps ahead"

She gets to the corner

Canal and Lafayette

She's standing alone

Your heart starts pounding

That tan young ass

Waiting alone!

"Approach her or not?

I'm a grown man!

In my mid thirties

She'll think I'm old and dirty.

Fuck it.

I'll go to plan B."

As you approach

Your heart starts to beat

All you can focus on

Is that delicious meat

Right on her ass

Out of her shorts

So you stick out your hand

And give it a grab

And take off court

You take off real fast

To Biglaw you go.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317000)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:32 AM
Author: Contagious Hyperventilating Ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317008)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:36 AM
Author: rusted indian lodge

much like tarantino, its always great when johnsmeyer releases new material, but i enjoyed his earlier work the best

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317017)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:37 AM
Author: gold hall brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317021)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:39 AM
Author: Contagious Hyperventilating Ratface

idk my head hurts from laughing at this for a full 30 seconds. i'm pretty high, but still. thought about changing my blank bump to a 180 but didn't. maybe i'll regret that later when this has a torrent of 180s. people will say i was afraid to be the first one

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317024)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:07 PM
Author: 180 federal step-uncle's house

(Guy who is high)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30321211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:52 AM
Author: Bull headed space jewess

Nah this is good. Early johnsmeyer released a lot of mediocre stuff too. This is high quality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318294)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:28 PM
Author: Spruce becky sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320507)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:32 PM
Author: Translucent whorehouse psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320529)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:39 AM
Author: primrose buck-toothed locale bbw



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317023)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:53 AM
Author: Slap-happy pistol black woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317055)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 8:30 AM
Author: very tactful keepsake machete public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 8:39 AM
Author: cyan stag film wrinkle

legit 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 8:58 AM
Author: cyan stag film wrinkle

See, the problem with modern society is that girls like this aren't in mainstream society, but instead are sequestered in college where their parents pay absurd amounts of money for them to learn nothing in particular. From age 17 they should start interning year-round in our offices and get some "hands on" experience. Of course, they'll get the best learning experience if they sit on our laps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317274)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 9:04 AM
Author: ocher haunting gay wizard

JUDGE FRANCIS AWAITS

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317294)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 3rd, 2025 1:16 PM
Author: french ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#48811553)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 3rd, 2025 1:17 PM
Author: Canary exciting spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#48811555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 9:11 AM
Author: Racy ultramarine skinny woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317311)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 9:14 AM
Author: bateful lake faggot firefighter

Legit as fuckk 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30317323)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:49 AM
Author: cyan stag film wrinkle

c'mon fools, where's the love? Johnsmeyer is this generation's Mark Twain.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318273)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:49 AM
Author: bateful lake faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318274)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 22nd, 2016 7:34 AM
Author: awkward soul-stirring stain set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30324124)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:49 AM
Author: glassy histrionic orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318278)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:50 AM
Author: bateful lake faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318282)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:51 AM
Author: internet-worthy slate area

LMfao 180!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:53 AM
Author: nighttime personal credit line stage

lmao 180.

imagine how IRATE chicks would be to get molested by a 5'9" Asian lawyer lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318302)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:56 AM
Author: Red garrison fat ankles

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318319)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:56 AM
Author: dun field pocket flask

ending was a let down but the rest is 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318320)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 11:57 AM
Author: Know-it-all Striped Hyena



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30318328)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:10 PM
Author: awkward soul-stirring stain set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320396)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Scarlet Insane Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320448)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Citrine misanthropic home place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320464)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Cerise fluffy people who are hurt son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30320465)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 6:44 PM
Author: floppy nubile dopamine hissy fit

ty

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30321037)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 21st, 2016 7:59 PM
Author: awkward soul-stirring stain set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30321557)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 22nd, 2016 7:41 AM
Author: Red garrison fat ankles

EPIC

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#30324133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 3rd, 2025 1:58 PM
Author: Infuriating underhanded market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3201562&forum_id=2#48811759)