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mainlining pushing a briefcase of money across the table to himself
| Mideast Peace Accords | 06/25/25 |
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 06/25/25 |
| Mideast Peace Accords | 06/25/25 |
| Trust If Aryan | 06/25/25 |
| your ex is happier without you | 06/25/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 25th, 2025 7:37 AM Author: Mideast Peace Accords (No Future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5743048&forum_id=2#49048062) |
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Date: June 25th, 2025 4:58 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ & Yet You Recognize Nothing) SCENE: A flickering overhead light in a SeaTTTle-area biglaw conference room. The air hums with fake lemon scent. Evan "Juris Doctor" Vance watches silently as Mainlining enters from the far side — same suit, same eyes.
Mainlining (dragging metal case across the table): “It’s all here. Every 180 you ever dreamed of. The $eed money for The Life™.”
Mainlining unlatches the briefcase. Inside: blank bump printouts, old Club Cards, a handwritten offer from Quinn Emanuel (“We’re impressed. Let’s talk. Perkins doesn't deserve you.”), and a Chipotle BOGO.
Evan (voice trembling): “Is it real?”
Mainlining (smirking): “It’s all yours, friendo. All you have to do... is Redeem the Point$™.”
He slides over a branded pen. The ink is red. The paper says:
“Congratulations. You have been selected for Mega Poa$ter Bracket Seeding™. To accept, please waive all future claims to joy, identity, or corporeal coherence.”
Evan (whispers): “I just wanted a mug.”
Mainlining (leans in): “You’ll get one. With your face on it. And underneath? Just one word.”
“UR TTT.”
He walks out. Evan signs. The lights dim. Somewhere, Tabitha, more obese than ever, takes a sip from her Big Gulp and murmurs: “$hredding won’t save you ;)”
This is fine. |
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Date: June 25th, 2025 4:59 PM Author: Mideast Peace Accords (No Future) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5743048&forum_id=2#49049597) |
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Date: June 25th, 2025 5:39 PM Author: Trust If Aryan Tabitha?
180 |
Date: June 25th, 2025 5:58 PM Author: your ex is happier without you (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5743048&forum_id=2#49049819) |