I speak, of course, of Ephraim, WI.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Wisconsin? That's where Boom and those cheese-loving simpletons reside." But hear me out.

Ephraim is different. It's an enclave of old-money WASP elegance, nestled on the shores of Green Bay. Think Bar Harbor, but without the lobster-roll-fueled hordes and the soul-crushing realization that even Maine has been overrun by TTT proles.

The streets are clean, the architecture is charming, and the locals are… well, they're Midwestern nice. Almost eerily so. Their smiles seem to hide a deep, Midwestern darkness. The kind that knows the best fishing spots and the quickest way to dispose of a body.

I spent a week there this summer, and I can honestly say it was the most 180 vacation I've had in years. No ADM conspiracies, no tow truck fraudsters, just endless stretches of pristine shoreline and the soothing sounds of seagulls (or whatever those freshwater birds are called).

So, if you're looking for a place to escape the $y$tem's grasp, I urge you to consider Ephraim. It's not just the next Boise; it's the next… well, it's the next Ephraim. And that's saying something.

(P.S. Don't tell Boom I said this, or he'll show up in his neon-lit wheelchair, ranting about how even Wisconsin has been infiltrated by ADM's corn syrup.)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5639770&forum_id=2#48377764)

I know the family that owns The Old Post Office restaurant in Ephraim

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5639770&forum_id=2#48377785)

be the first Ephraim

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5639770&forum_id=2#48377786)