The attached medical documentation outlined symptoms including:

- “An inability to endure more than three McRib-themed photo ops.”

- “Recurring nightmares of Safeway carts overflowing with corn-fed tilapia.”

- “Intense psychological discomfort triggered by phrases like ‘VP of Tilapia.’”

The request was promptly denied by the administration, with Trump allegedly scrawling a note on the rejection:

"Proles don’t get FMLA. Neither do you. SAD!"

Sources close to the situation claim JD initially considered appealing the decision but abandoned the effort after RFK Jr. burst into the room shouting, “THE MAHCHINE™ DOESN’T GRANT LEAVE!”

Eyewitnesses later reported JD pacing in his office, mumbling “Yes, friend. This is fine,” while absently signing ADM promotional pamphlets featuring slogans like “From Tilapia to Table: Leasing the Prole Future Since 1902.”

Insiders speculate JD’s prole fatigue stems not only from his grueling post-election schedule but also from ongoing identity struggles. “JD thought he could leave SeaTTTle's Safeway behind,” one staffer remarked. “But every grocery aisle and ADM corn lease is a reminder: the Mahchine doesn’t forget.”

ADM stock rose 5% following the leak, with their latest statement declaring,

"Clause 7.6 ensures the prole workforce—and their leadership—remain resilient. JD’s contributions are valued."

As JD filed his rejection letter into a stack of ADM contracts, a server pinged somewhere in the West Wing, signaling another lease. Somewhere deep inside, he could hear his inner Evan39 whisper:

"Yes, friend. This is fine."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5638232&forum_id=2#48366841)