This is fine with him when people are nice about it, or when someone tells me how beautiful my daughters are (“a compliment is a compliment” seems to be his sensible motto). It’s less fine with him when people are dolts, like the security guy in the airport who said, “What’s your name, sweetheart?” then recoiled from Ben as though he’d suddenly found himself hitting on RuPaul. Or the guy at school who pinned him to the ground and cut off all his hair.

Oh, wait. That didn’t happen to Ben. But it did happen to somebody, and I’m thinking of it in the wake of President Obama’s fully evolved support of gay marriage alongside Mitt Romney’s apology for his bullying of a schoolmate: “There’s no question that I did some stupid things in high school, and obviously, if I hurt anyone by virtue of that, I would be very sorry for it and apologize for it,” although Mr. Romney also says, “the thought that that fellow was homosexual was the furthest thing from our minds back in the 1960s.”

Even looking back 50 years, Mr. Romney’s claim that the boy’s sexuality was not part of the equation feels implausible to me. Because that’s always the point with children who don’t look right, right? It’s that the refusal by some men and women to dress the part means that the great human drama (a k a heterosexuality) can’t be cast correctly. If we don’t know which is which, how we can pair up everyone in properly reproductive two-by-twos, Noah’s Ark-style?

My own blog shows common search terms that people type in about it, and one of them is always some variation on “Catherine Newman son gay?” Of course, I’ll be happy whether Ben turns out to be gay or straight. But his stylishness notwithstanding, he is currently as gay or straight as your average kitchen table; Ben is more likely to marry our cat, or the board game Settlers of Catan, than he is a man or woman.

But people get nervous about gender because so much seems to be riding on it. It’s fear that makes some of us treat marriage like an injured baby bird that needs to be coddled, and equate people who incorrectly prefer sequins or flannel with the end of the family as we know it, instead of seeing that loving families and happy children come in both traditional and varied forms.

So I’m thrilled about Mr. Obama’s endorsement of gay marriage not just because it means more gay weddings to attend, but also because the more room there is for gay people, the fewer constraints there are on everybody. In my utopian vision — and you can’t raise children without a utopian vision — the world takes a deep breath and expands: everybody gets to wear what they like and look how they want, and nobody is afraid anymore because the stakes are so low.

My pink-loving son or yours never has to put on the chinos-and-navy-polo-shirt accounting department costume mandated by his gender, because nothing important is hanging in the balance. Our bald newborn daughters won’t need to wear those weird headband-y bow things. And no one will be forced to cut off whatever doesn’t fit into a narrow idea of who, exactly, people are supposed to be.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/14/my-son-looks-like-a-girl-so-what/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20701528)

(xo pumo)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#21812592)

TL;DR - "Romney constructively hair-raped my son. Fuck you, Mitt."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702681)

of course!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20701890)

it honestly doesn't bother me that people like this kid exist, but their parents ALWAYS seem to want to talk about them all over the fucking Internet.

it makes me wonder how much of these kids' decisions to dress/act how they do is REALLY their doing, and how much is a result of their parents gently nudging them into it by saying, "here Bobby, i bought you a pink skirt AND blue shorts. wear whichever you want!"

if the kid is totally dressing like this of his own volition, good for him. his life is going to be a little hard, for sure - probably harder than if his parents didn't oblige him, overall - but i certainly don't think it's a bad thing that he has open-minded parents who let him do what he do. THAT isn't going to hurt him in the long run. but his parents' treating them like a fucking poster child for gender-nonconformity? that might. no kid deserves to be made into a cause for just wearing what he wants to wear.

these parents need to get the fuck over themselves.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20701902)

1. How old are you?

2. Have you ever possessed GF?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702689)

Kids cling to the shit they're used to for a long time (especially regarding milk) unless you actively discourage it.

You don't have kids, right?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702918)

In 50 years people will regard you as an ignorant, cranky old fool who should be ignored, while I bask in the equality are country has achieved. Lol@you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702608)

This reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons with the "Do what you feel festival".

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702715)

"My 4 year old son displays some unusual behavioral preferences - instead of using the training potty that we originally bought for him, he likes to shit on the hardwood floor, run over to the nearest area carpet, sit his naked asscheeks down on the carpet, and rub his anus across it a few times to get rid of any clinging fecal matter. I will admit that originally my husband and I were taken aback, unsure of what to do. After thinking about it and doing some research, however, we have come ro realize that we need to accept Gainus as he is rather than seeking to change him -there is no "right" way to clean yourself, and his preferences for alternative methods are just as legitimate as the socially sanctioned "mainstream" approaches. After all, his body is his body; and just as I cannot support a candidate (no names, Mr. Romney) that would want to control my bodily functions, my son must be allowed to truly feel that he has bodily integrity from the authority figures around him from earliest possible age. We spend a little more on detergent every month, but it's more than worth it to know that we are supporting our son in all of his choices."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20702725)

Sorry, but your attempt at satire falls flat.

--

duh

There is no way in which defecating on the floor and smearing feces on furniture is similar to dressing in ways that are perfectly presentable but unexpected. Attempting to equate the two makes no sense.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20710585)

Moreover, there's no analogy to be had here b/c wiping one's ass on the carpet is not something that humans do. This reasoning displays reptiles' constant logic fails: "gay marriage??? Then it should likewise be legal to marry a horse! Ha, see!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#20705986)

bonus point for posting it on nyt to see readers respond with a total lack of humor

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#21813050)

of course!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1949766&forum_id=2#22750061)