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Most absurd Biglaw Firing stories
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:35 PM Author: lime office I'll go first. I know a girl that got fired for throwing away an original document that was a critical piece of evidence in a case. When she discovered her error, the firm told her if she could find it, she could keep her job. She went with a few sympathetic team members (I think another associate and a paralegal) to literally go dumpster diving. Sadly, they never recovered the document. She was shitcanned a few days later. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073621) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:37 PM Author: internet-worthy godawful sound barrier this doesn't sound like biglaw sir (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073631) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:37 PM Author: lime office Well, it was v50. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073633) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:44 PM Author: Slate Self-absorbed Bawdyhouse FYI, Willkie Farr dropped out of the V50 this year. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073678) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:39 PM Author: spruce dashing famous landscape painting stead No way did that happen. I'd use my newly unemployed status to sue for hostile work environment or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073644) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:43 PM Author: lime office Well, it wasn't really hostile. They didn't order her, they simply said if she couldn't produce the doc, she was gone.
Ironically, this was very early in the case, and after she left, the case went on for like 8 more years. They were still arguing about trying to show witnesses copies of the document (the original was never recovered) in depositions almost a decade later. |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:41 PM Author: Haunting Chestnut Parlor Legal Warrant 43rd floor dumpster? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073662) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:44 PM Author: lime office Haha, yes, I think that was it. Didn't they also go dig around somewhere outside of the building though? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073680) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:00 AM Author: splenetic turquoise trailer park We have secure garbage bins for documents. Those shits are literally locked. If you need to claw back a document you dumped in one by accident you are royally fucked. The entire floor will know. Like two people in the whole building have keys for that shit. It would be an epic disaster. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074612) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:40 PM Author: White talented international law enforcement agency keepsake machete Sounds like an original mortgage document or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078097) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:47 PM Author: very tactful vibrant meetinghouse idiot I'm not sure why an original mortgage would be a super critical piece of evidence? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078165) |
Date: December 6th, 2016 9:45 PM Author: Curious transparent sweet tailpipe what kind of biglaw case is an original document worth firing someone over (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073681) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:46 PM Author: lime office It was a 100+ million dollar litigation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073683) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:22 PM Author: Curious transparent sweet tailpipe and what original document would be necessary? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073990) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:23 PM Author: mahogany hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073994) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:26 PM Author: Curious transparent sweet tailpipe (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074024) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:36 PM Author: lime office This was key impeachment of one of the plaintiffs (proof of fraud). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074080) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:46 PM Author: mahogany hell Best evidence rule (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073684) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:51 PM Author: Contagious Bespoke Ladyboy I've never really heard of someone being fired for cause over one error. It's usually low hours, lazy, lacks attention to detail type shit that builds up out of months of fuck ups / lack of effort. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073712) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:52 PM Author: lime office Yeah, I wasn't around then, so I have no idea to what extent this was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was a doozy of a straw though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073722) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:29 PM Author: Curious transparent sweet tailpipe all these PLUS unlikeable.
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:44 PM Author: Frisky ruddy spot background story I was fired from biglaw as a junior associate for one error -- but it was honestly because the team didn't like me much personally (long story; weird personalities, etc.); they presented the "error" as an excuse
funny part is, I'm at another biglaw firm now (been there for many years now) and I'm working with a relatively new midlevel lateral who fits the bill of "low hours, lazy, lacks attention to detail type shit that builds up out of months of fuck ups / lack of effort" -- I think of firing him every day |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:07 PM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot Stub year week 1. Was asked to do a project that night at 6 PM. Said naw, got plans. Ghosted. Rolled into office the next day at 10 AM. Fired that day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073873) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:07 PM Author: frozen wrinkle jfc lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073877) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:25 PM Author: slap-happy embarrassed to the bone tanning salon ceo He's now MBB (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074013) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:34 PM Author: Emerald site rigpig Dont understand this. Why couldn't u just work on it the next day in the morning? It had to be done by midnight? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074072) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:38 PM Author: lime office lol bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074090) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:40 PM Author: Emerald site rigpig Still don't get it. Ok rolling in next day at 10 somewhat shows lack of urgency but I don't see the issue here, especially a firing, unless the joke is flame that I'm not getting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074103) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:42 PM Author: lime office You've never done biglaw litigation or corporate work if you think the work can just wait til the next morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074113) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:45 PM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot TBF 7 AM is often the same delivery time as midnight but this guy blew T all up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074124) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:45 PM Author: Emerald site rigpig I've never done corporate work, but I know in litigation there are much bigger windows than a day between knowing that something is due and the actual due date. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074131) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:51 PM Author: lime office Depends but when I did litigation, I felt like I was doing research or writing motions that needed to be done THAT night all the time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074152) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: frozen wrinkle this is not true in corporate. you're always fighting fires. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074165) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:44 AM Author: Swashbuckling Citrine Telephone Chad So what? Pretty much every busy lawyer on earth is scrambling the 48 hours before a big filing. Sometimes you don't know until you are getting that task No. AA-48 that you thought would be a 15 minute paralegal job really is a 4 hour task that you need someone with close attention to detail to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076288) |
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Date: December 8th, 2016 4:06 AM Author: Emerald site rigpig And u don't realize until 6pm the day of filing that you need this done? I mean it's possible but seems unlikely (infrequent) to me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32084934) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:09 PM Author: frozen wrinkle not really the same boat, but SA from our class got no offered when he flipped out about not getting a personal car arranged back from a firm event and having to share transport (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073889) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:26 PM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot a poaster got no offered for: (1) ripping the hiring partner's law school to his face; (2) taking conference calls from across the office with his door open; (3) crashing a Segway into a partner'a Segway on a Segway tour. |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:27 PM Author: frozen wrinkle all the same dude? lmao at the segway tour (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074037) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:30 PM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot Same dude. Lowercase moniker. This is his story. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074052) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:31 PM Author: frozen wrinkle born to poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074058) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:31 PM Author: Curious transparent sweet tailpipe what's he doing now/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074059) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:39 PM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot His Story: he clawed his way back into biglaw after a horrific journey through magistrates, unpaid externships, staff attorneys, poisonous megafirm with YEARS of no bonus or raise, then being FIRED, then in the same week getting DUMPED. But brothers let me tell you, in this story of redemption and the love for the law, on the last DAY his website bio was up, he got an offer in the same city as his ex-gf. They are back together now. His story is told here. On autoadmit.com. Where we can all maek it. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:52 AM Author: multi-colored honey-headed fat ankles Since when is clawing your way to working biglaw considered making it? Ljl @ this shit profession (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074951) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:54 AM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot Look bro he set a goal and maed it. Could be different goals, different maek (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074959) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:32 PM Author: Maniacal Locale Philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074063) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:43 PM Author: White talented international law enforcement agency keepsake machete Is this Fish? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078122) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: Frisky ruddy spot background story Was the segway tour crash intentional? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078150) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:39 PM Author: lime office lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074095) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:57 PM Author: lavender property 1st year was canned his first week after he brought a gun to the office.
He was a weirdo though and there was debate about whether to even offer him as a summer. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:05 AM Author: spruce dashing famous landscape painting stead jfc
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:57 PM Author: Trip athletic conference range Not a story but I met aquagirl/clara at a grimy dive in hells kitchen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074589) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:59 PM Author: Trip athletic conference range SA at BB texas last summer got no offered because he decided he was only coming to the office 3 days a week, spoke on conference calls he was listening in on, and was pushing 300lbs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074599) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:10 AM Author: Passionate ungodly feces Associate met with company x and agreed to represent them on deal y with company z under the table. Managing partner contacted company z about about retaining firm for deal y, and company z told them the associate at their office already represented x.
Associate was done for. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:11 AM Author: spruce dashing famous landscape painting stead lol. was the associate gonna send them a bill on his own? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074685) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:52 PM Author: Cerise business firm nibblets Wtf? Is this Biglaw? If Assoc is doing shit like this, he prbly doesn't need Biglaw. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078202) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 3:28 PM Author: cobalt rehab (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40581519) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:46 AM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life Not stories like the above, but the notable ones for me:
Summer had a messy divorce combined with sleeping with an associate. She got no-offered.
Lateral who failed the bar 3 times (1st time the firm paid him 2 months to study for it, next time they paid 1 month but let him take another month of unpaid leave, the third time they let him take 2 months of unpaid leave). CCN grad. Was out the day the results were released. He was lazy and had a pretty high opinion of his intellect, so I suspect that he just didn't study [enough].
Legit mental illness (this person's office stayed intact for about 18 months before the firm finally had office services box it up -- literally just sat there as-is down to dying and then dead plants). |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: multi-colored honey-headed fat ankles What's he doing now? Even my laziest and dumbest friends passed ca/ny bar on the second try. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074967) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 1:46 AM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life In-house at a bank in a second/third-tier city (like Jacksonville). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075291) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:58 AM Author: Haunting Chestnut Parlor Legal Warrant Was # 3 just on leave the whole time? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075574) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 3:20 AM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life Yeah, I don't know if they were paying her or not. I think they were scared because of the mental illness -- didn't want to fire her and risk a claim / ATL mess, so they hung on for a while with the appearance that she might come back by leaving her office intact, leaving her on the website, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075635) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:41 AM Author: Flesh motley library mediation Second one seems really odd. He'd already passed in a different state and they wanted him to pass in the jurisdiction where he'd lateraled? And then he failed three times with 2 months to study and they didn't fire him until the third? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076270) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:39 PM Author: mind-boggling garrison skinny woman Smells like URM to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078089) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:44 PM Author: White talented international law enforcement agency keepsake machete Cocoa butter? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078137) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:40 PM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life Yeah, he lateraled from a smaller state where the firm didn't have an office to CA. The partner he worked for really went to bat for him not to be let go after fail #2, and was rewarded by a third failure (after having 6 out of 19 months or so off to study). He was an odd dude, but seems to have landed on his feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078093) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:59 AM Author: flatulent gaming laptop crackhouse Junior associate would spend evenings practicing a recorder - an honest to god recorder, not a flute - in his office. Apparently he thought the office was totally soundproof, but in reality anyone near his office could hear him playing "Hot Cross Buns" and other recorder standards for hours on end.
They explained to him that he had to go, but they gave him the honor of a musical escort out of the building. A few paralegals and staff attorneys accompanied him with makeshift drums (made out of everything from trash cans to reams of printer paper) as he played his recorder one last time in the hallways and lobbies. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 1:01 AM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot What song did he play (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075005) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:01 AM Author: Bearded diverse tank nigga he played "hot cross buns" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075352) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:42 AM Author: Olive spectacular coffee pot Was specifically referring to the marching ensemble (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076279) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:59 AM Author: Haunting Chestnut Parlor Legal Warrant 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075576) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 3:32 AM Author: Maniacal Locale Philosopher-king lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075653) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:50 AM Author: Mustard Mad-dog Skullcap Coldplay Fan 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076314) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:35 PM Author: khaki wonderful state (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078063) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:37 PM Author: very tactful vibrant meetinghouse idiot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078075) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: White talented international law enforcement agency keepsake machete See, XO can still amaze you sometimes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078155) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:10 PM Author: Useless nowag (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40580927) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 3:29 PM Author: fiercely-loyal sanctuary karate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40581529) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 7:46 AM Author: Appetizing toaster tattoo Guy I summered with got no offered because he DEMANDED a partner take him to Dairy Queen. We went to a nice lunch just like normal. Went and got into the car afterward and he asked the partner if we could go to DQ. Partner was like "really? That seems unnecessary" and the guy was like "yea, I'm really craving DQ, I'm dead serious." Partner rolled his eyes and we drove to DQ.
The guy was weird and did entitled (but minor) shit like that all summer. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:10 AM Author: vigorous house I wonder in how many stories like this, the firee was acting not out of obliviousness, but rather deliberately and knowingly in some terribly misguided "power move" that they thought would fast-track them to partnership. Like the employment version of PUA shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076167) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:21 AM Author: disturbing crimson death wish Someone needs to write a book on how to do PUA shit at work correctly. The stakes are too high to just try shit out if you're not sure that it's going to work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076211) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:22 AM Author: frozen wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076217) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life I really don't know. Some people are just truly dense and/or have bought in to the "UR SPECIAL!" talks from recruiters and partners they'll never talk to again. There's always that dude who's a little clueless at or about lunch, who decides to order two bottles of wine and a bunch of apps for the table at a casual happy hour, who takes a daily nap in his office like a child. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078143) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:47 PM Author: titillating misanthropic theater stage i do most of those things and i'm pretty much indisputably the social leader of the office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078168) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:51 PM Author: Hilarious Love Of Her Life It's different when it's the summer everyone hates. e.g., "At my desk 90 mins later tonight because Joe ordered soup and an app and then coffee and a 15-min lava cake at lunch." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078198) |