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Most absurd Biglaw Firing stories
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:35 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage I'll go first. I know a girl that got fired for throwing away an original document that was a critical piece of evidence in a case. When she discovered her error, the firm told her if she could find it, she could keep her job. She went with a few sympathetic team members (I think another associate and a paralegal) to literally go dumpster diving. Sadly, they never recovered the document. She was shitcanned a few days later. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073621) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:37 PM Author: Twinkling Useless Brakes Athletic Conference this doesn't sound like biglaw sir (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073631) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:37 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage Well, it was v50. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073633) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:44 PM Author: pea-brained love of her life stag film FYI, Willkie Farr dropped out of the V50 this year. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073678) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:39 PM Author: Maniacal honey-headed garrison bbw No way did that happen. I'd use my newly unemployed status to sue for hostile work environment or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073644) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:43 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage Well, it wasn't really hostile. They didn't order her, they simply said if she couldn't produce the doc, she was gone.
Ironically, this was very early in the case, and after she left, the case went on for like 8 more years. They were still arguing about trying to show witnesses copies of the document (the original was never recovered) in depositions almost a decade later. |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:41 PM Author: zombie-like smoky rehab background story 43rd floor dumpster? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073662) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:44 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage Haha, yes, I think that was it. Didn't they also go dig around somewhere outside of the building though? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073680) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:00 AM Author: Metal space We have secure garbage bins for documents. Those shits are literally locked. If you need to claw back a document you dumped in one by accident you are royally fucked. The entire floor will know. Like two people in the whole building have keys for that shit. It would be an epic disaster. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074612) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:40 PM Author: Electric deer antler Sounds like an original mortgage document or something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078097) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:47 PM Author: hyperactive locale I'm not sure why an original mortgage would be a super critical piece of evidence? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078165) |
Date: December 6th, 2016 9:45 PM Author: beady-eyed elastic band what kind of biglaw case is an original document worth firing someone over (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073681) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:46 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage It was a 100+ million dollar litigation. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073683) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:22 PM Author: beady-eyed elastic band and what original document would be necessary? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073990) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:23 PM Author: Mint Concupiscible Fanboi Den (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073994) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:26 PM Author: beady-eyed elastic band (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074024) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:36 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage This was key impeachment of one of the plaintiffs (proof of fraud). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074080) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:46 PM Author: Mint Concupiscible Fanboi Den Best evidence rule (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073684) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:51 PM Author: Aquamarine hairraiser jew trailer park I've never really heard of someone being fired for cause over one error. It's usually low hours, lazy, lacks attention to detail type shit that builds up out of months of fuck ups / lack of effort. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073712) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 9:52 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage Yeah, I wasn't around then, so I have no idea to what extent this was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was a doozy of a straw though. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073722) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:29 PM Author: beady-eyed elastic band all these PLUS unlikeable.
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:44 PM Author: Supple mauve sandwich stage I was fired from biglaw as a junior associate for one error -- but it was honestly because the team didn't like me much personally (long story; weird personalities, etc.); they presented the "error" as an excuse
funny part is, I'm at another biglaw firm now (been there for many years now) and I'm working with a relatively new midlevel lateral who fits the bill of "low hours, lazy, lacks attention to detail type shit that builds up out of months of fuck ups / lack of effort" -- I think of firing him every day |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:07 PM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat Stub year week 1. Was asked to do a project that night at 6 PM. Said naw, got plans. Ghosted. Rolled into office the next day at 10 AM. Fired that day. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073873) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:07 PM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven jfc lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073877) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:25 PM Author: Rough-skinned Fortuitous Meteor He's now MBB (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074013) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:34 PM Author: 180 cruel-hearted clown area Dont understand this. Why couldn't u just work on it the next day in the morning? It had to be done by midnight? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074072) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:38 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage lol bro (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074090) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:40 PM Author: 180 cruel-hearted clown area Still don't get it. Ok rolling in next day at 10 somewhat shows lack of urgency but I don't see the issue here, especially a firing, unless the joke is flame that I'm not getting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074103) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:42 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage You've never done biglaw litigation or corporate work if you think the work can just wait til the next morning. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074113) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:45 PM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat TBF 7 AM is often the same delivery time as midnight but this guy blew T all up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074124) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:45 PM Author: 180 cruel-hearted clown area I've never done corporate work, but I know in litigation there are much bigger windows than a day between knowing that something is due and the actual due date. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074131) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:51 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage Depends but when I did litigation, I felt like I was doing research or writing motions that needed to be done THAT night all the time. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074152) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:52 PM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven this is not true in corporate. you're always fighting fires. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074165) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:44 AM Author: flirting dashing theater queen of the night So what? Pretty much every busy lawyer on earth is scrambling the 48 hours before a big filing. Sometimes you don't know until you are getting that task No. AA-48 that you thought would be a 15 minute paralegal job really is a 4 hour task that you need someone with close attention to detail to do. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076288) |
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Date: December 8th, 2016 4:06 AM Author: 180 cruel-hearted clown area And u don't realize until 6pm the day of filing that you need this done? I mean it's possible but seems unlikely (infrequent) to me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32084934) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:09 PM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven not really the same boat, but SA from our class got no offered when he flipped out about not getting a personal car arranged back from a firm event and having to share transport (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32073889) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:26 PM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat a poaster got no offered for: (1) ripping the hiring partner's law school to his face; (2) taking conference calls from across the office with his door open; (3) crashing a Segway into a partner'a Segway on a Segway tour. |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:27 PM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven all the same dude? lmao at the segway tour (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074037) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:30 PM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat Same dude. Lowercase moniker. This is his story. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074052) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:31 PM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven born to poast (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074058) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:31 PM Author: beady-eyed elastic band what's he doing now/ (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074059) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:39 PM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat His Story: he clawed his way back into biglaw after a horrific journey through magistrates, unpaid externships, staff attorneys, poisonous megafirm with YEARS of no bonus or raise, then being FIRED, then in the same week getting DUMPED. But brothers let me tell you, in this story of redemption and the love for the law, on the last DAY his website bio was up, he got an offer in the same city as his ex-gf. They are back together now. His story is told here. On autoadmit.com. Where we can all maek it. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:52 AM Author: Fuchsia reading party Since when is clawing your way to working biglaw considered making it? Ljl @ this shit profession (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074951) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:54 AM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat Look bro he set a goal and maed it. Could be different goals, different maek (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074959) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:32 PM Author: Fishy high-end gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074063) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:43 PM Author: Electric deer antler Is this Fish? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078122) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: Supple mauve sandwich stage Was the segway tour crash intentional? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078150) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 10:39 PM Author: Cerebral frum stage lol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074095) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:57 PM Author: Sapphire deep lodge ratface 1st year was canned his first week after he brought a gun to the office.
He was a weirdo though and there was debate about whether to even offer him as a summer. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:05 AM Author: Maniacal honey-headed garrison bbw jfc
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:57 PM Author: Irate vivacious ticket booth hunting ground Not a story but I met aquagirl/clara at a grimy dive in hells kitchen. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074589) |
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Date: December 6th, 2016 11:59 PM Author: Irate vivacious ticket booth hunting ground SA at BB texas last summer got no offered because he decided he was only coming to the office 3 days a week, spoke on conference calls he was listening in on, and was pushing 300lbs (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074599) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:10 AM Author: Cocky Forum Associate met with company x and agreed to represent them on deal y with company z under the table. Managing partner contacted company z about about retaining firm for deal y, and company z told them the associate at their office already represented x.
Associate was done for. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:11 AM Author: Maniacal honey-headed garrison bbw lol. was the associate gonna send them a bill on his own? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074685) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:52 PM Author: blathering round eye nursing home Wtf? Is this Biglaw? If Assoc is doing shit like this, he prbly doesn't need Biglaw. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078202) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 3:28 PM Author: mahogany gaped cuck (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40581519) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:46 AM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams Not stories like the above, but the notable ones for me:
Summer had a messy divorce combined with sleeping with an associate. She got no-offered.
Lateral who failed the bar 3 times (1st time the firm paid him 2 months to study for it, next time they paid 1 month but let him take another month of unpaid leave, the third time they let him take 2 months of unpaid leave). CCN grad. Was out the day the results were released. He was lazy and had a pretty high opinion of his intellect, so I suspect that he just didn't study [enough].
Legit mental illness (this person's office stayed intact for about 18 months before the firm finally had office services box it up -- literally just sat there as-is down to dying and then dead plants). |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Fuchsia reading party What's he doing now? Even my laziest and dumbest friends passed ca/ny bar on the second try. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32074967) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 1:46 AM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams In-house at a bank in a second/third-tier city (like Jacksonville). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075291) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:58 AM Author: zombie-like smoky rehab background story Was # 3 just on leave the whole time? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075574) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 3:20 AM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams Yeah, I don't know if they were paying her or not. I think they were scared because of the mental illness -- didn't want to fire her and risk a claim / ATL mess, so they hung on for a while with the appearance that she might come back by leaving her office intact, leaving her on the website, etc. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075635) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:41 AM Author: bonkers shaky kitchen Second one seems really odd. He'd already passed in a different state and they wanted him to pass in the jurisdiction where he'd lateraled? And then he failed three times with 2 months to study and they didn't fire him until the third? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076270) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:39 PM Author: Offensive irradiated death wish Smells like URM to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078089) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:44 PM Author: Electric deer antler Cocoa butter? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078137) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:40 PM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams Yeah, he lateraled from a smaller state where the firm didn't have an office to CA. The partner he worked for really went to bat for him not to be let go after fail #2, and was rewarded by a third failure (after having 6 out of 19 months or so off to study). He was an odd dude, but seems to have landed on his feet. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078093) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:59 AM Author: Azure Sweet Tailpipe Locus Junior associate would spend evenings practicing a recorder - an honest to god recorder, not a flute - in his office. Apparently he thought the office was totally soundproof, but in reality anyone near his office could hear him playing "Hot Cross Buns" and other recorder standards for hours on end.
They explained to him that he had to go, but they gave him the honor of a musical escort out of the building. A few paralegals and staff attorneys accompanied him with makeshift drums (made out of everything from trash cans to reams of printer paper) as he played his recorder one last time in the hallways and lobbies. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 1:01 AM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat What song did he play (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075005) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:01 AM Author: Marvelous halford nigga he played "hot cross buns" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075352) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:42 AM Author: stirring pearly toilet seat Was specifically referring to the marching ensemble (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076279) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 2:59 AM Author: zombie-like smoky rehab background story 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075576) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 3:32 AM Author: Fishy high-end gaping lmao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32075653) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:50 AM Author: soggy boyish mental disorder 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076314) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:35 PM Author: Crimson Stead Macaca (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078063) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:37 PM Author: hyperactive locale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078075) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: Electric deer antler See, XO can still amaze you sometimes. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078155) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 2:10 PM Author: swashbuckling harsh office jewess (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40580927) |
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Date: July 10th, 2020 3:29 PM Author: Wonderful Fluffy Travel Guidebook (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#40581529) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 7:46 AM Author: Bespoke Arousing Blood Rage Range Guy I summered with got no offered because he DEMANDED a partner take him to Dairy Queen. We went to a nice lunch just like normal. Went and got into the car afterward and he asked the partner if we could go to DQ. Partner was like "really? That seems unnecessary" and the guy was like "yea, I'm really craving DQ, I'm dead serious." Partner rolled his eyes and we drove to DQ.
The guy was weird and did entitled (but minor) shit like that all summer. |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:10 AM Author: Adulterous awkward idea he suggested I wonder in how many stories like this, the firee was acting not out of obliviousness, but rather deliberately and knowingly in some terribly misguided "power move" that they thought would fast-track them to partnership. Like the employment version of PUA shit. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076167) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:21 AM Author: Hideous community account voyeur Someone needs to write a book on how to do PUA shit at work correctly. The stakes are too high to just try shit out if you're not sure that it's going to work. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076211) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 8:22 AM Author: cyan multi-billionaire heaven (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32076217) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:45 PM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams I really don't know. Some people are just truly dense and/or have bought in to the "UR SPECIAL!" talks from recruiters and partners they'll never talk to again. There's always that dude who's a little clueless at or about lunch, who decides to order two bottles of wine and a bunch of apps for the table at a casual happy hour, who takes a daily nap in his office like a child. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078143) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:47 PM Author: crawly walnut nibblets i do most of those things and i'm pretty much indisputably the social leader of the office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078168) |
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Date: December 7th, 2016 12:51 PM Author: frozen lettuce laser beams It's different when it's the summer everyone hates. e.g., "At my desk 90 mins later tonight because Joe ordered soup and an app and then coffee and a 15-min lava cake at lunch." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3451434&forum_id=2#32078198) |