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I Hate Summer Associates And How Fucking Happy They Are
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:13 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested Go fuck yourselves you stupid cunts.
God damn it I hate you so much.
While you go off to Disneyland I get to spend 12 fucking hours writing a fucking brief that is just going to be torn to shreds by an idiot partner that INSISTS ON USING THE WORDS CLEARLY, OBVIOUSLY, SIMPLY, AND PLAINLY IN EVERY OTHER FUCKING SENTENCE GOD DAMN IT WHY WON'T YOU STOP FUCKING SMILING?!!?!!?!!?!?!!?!
I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH. I HATE HOW HAPPY YOU ARE. I HATE HOW YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FUCKING JOB. I HATE HOW YOU ALL WALK AROUND TOGETHER AND GO TO LUNCH TOGETHER I WANT YOU ALL TO FUCKING CHOKE ON YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKING FIRM COMPED LUNCH YOU FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:13 PM Author: Narrow-minded lettuce hey brooooother
u mad? |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:16 PM Author: smoky adulterous nursing home degenerate thanks for your post man, SAs are like 1Ls before fall grades came out. brainwashed morons who have yet to be mugged by reality. remember most of them can only think of the money at this point. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233511) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 10:54 PM Author: twisted obsidian psychic "SAs are like 1Ls before fall grades came out. brainwashed morons who have yet to be mugged by reality."
180 |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:02 PM Author: anal canary church building "CLEARLY, OBVIOUSLY, SIMPLY, AND PLAINLY"
What's supposed to be the tone of this brief? Aggressive and condescending? |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:35 PM Author: Tantric Gaming Laptop I use plainly and simply put all the time bro. Is that TTT? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235514) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 11:10 PM Author: anal canary church building It's presumptuous as fuck.
You're gonna piss off your readers if they don't think your arguments are as "plain" and "simple" as you do. |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 11:13 PM Author: Tantric Gaming Laptop Plainly, Plaintiff's assertions do not survive the heightened pleading standards under Iqbal and Twombly. As such, this Court should dismiss the Complaint with prejudice. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21237505) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:03 AM Author: anal canary church building Sounds as if you're spitting in the judge's ears. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238471) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:16 AM Author: angry dog poop school cafeteria the use of adverbs like this is TTT but it's common enough that it's not like it actually garners negative attention (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238572) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:10 PM Author: exciting library potus CR. That same sentence is perfect without the adverb. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241762) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 8:23 AM Author: Glassy Place Of Business I always go through and remove all the clearly, plainly, etc words. They always sound like you're bullshitting through a weak argument. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239311) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:15 PM Author: Hairless regret boilerplate throwaway sentence (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241786) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:44 PM Author: Galvanic Theater Stage I can think of exceptions (e.g., you're responding to a pro se litigant who never even came close to getting it right), but they're rare. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241572) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:05 AM Author: Judgmental Party Of The First Part Menage i think clearly and obviously should not be used. plainly probably should not be used most times
however, i think simply is okay |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:16 PM Author: Hairless regret a 180 post (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21240650) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:42 PM Author: Galvanic Theater Stage No remotely competent lawyer (much less a partner) would insist on using those words on any other than rare occasions. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241559) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:45 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested He's a terrible lawyer, but great with clients. So...I'm his bitch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241579) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:47 PM Author: Hairless regret fuck that bro, the main guy i used to work for basically sprinkled PLAINLY, CLEARLY, and HAVE NOT AND CANNOT ALLEGE at least once per paragraph. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241602) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:48 PM Author: Galvanic Theater Stage At least fight for a "pellucid" to spice things up. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241613) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:51 PM Author: Hairless regret he got scared off by words he wasn't used to seeing. Bitched about me using the world "salvaged" and "underscore" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241644) |
Date: August 1st, 2012 3:14 PM Author: cordovan space try learning to write better? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233488) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:15 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested If you think using those words in a legal brief helps your argument you should die in a fire. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233498) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 10:55 PM Author: twisted obsidian psychic (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21237344) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:33 PM Author: Titillating Halford I'm not sure the penalty fits the crime there brother. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241470) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:15 PM Author: swollen center sandwich Soon they will be broken too Breh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233492) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:16 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested I hope so. I genuinely do. I want to watch the light fade from their eyes. I will cherish watching them turn into empty husks. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233513) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:25 PM Author: swollen center sandwich Starts around thanksgiving (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233592) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:34 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested Honestly, I probably won't even be here by the time these fuckers come back, but at least I will get to watch the first years from the C/O 2012 slowly die on the inside. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233672) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:34 PM Author: Carnelian crotch I'm fresh faced and excited! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235508) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:16 PM Author: cracking sapphire sweet tailpipe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDLoB0nqc20 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233515) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:07 PM Author: cracking sapphire sweet tailpipe someone watch this, it's a good clip from a 180 movie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235327) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:35 PM Author: Carnelian crotch OFS (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235525) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:16 PM Author: gaped hell organic girlfriend This isn't a good way of looking at it. These poor bastards don't even know what is about to hit them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21233520) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 3:37 PM Author: Lake cerebral stage scourge upon the earth i feel the same way toward the summer interns at my company.
if these people are smart at all, they will not fucking come back. |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:05 PM Author: Mind-boggling range sneaky criminal they should seek their fortune in asia instead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235316) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:25 PM Author: gaped hell organic girlfriend (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235441) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 7:25 PM Author: provocative faggotry (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21235447) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 10:56 PM Author: marvelous silver toilet seat point The best part is summers talking about how they liked working at a firm a lot more than they thought they would.
That's because you weren't actually working, idiots. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:46 AM Author: territorial sex offender legal warrant I felt like I worked my ass off as an SA this summer. Researching case law and writing memos and shit is NOT actually firm work? It can't be THAT different. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239000) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 7:11 AM Author: dashing lodge nowag It is firm work, but it didn't come with the experience of getting your memo ripped to shreds, subsequently yelled at for doing something you were told to do, and having ridiculous deadlines. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239205) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 7:14 AM Author: cracking sapphire sweet tailpipe it is (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239207) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 11:08 PM Author: Tantric Gaming Laptop It is hilarious to watch how jaded they become as 1Ls at the 6 month mark. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21237458) |
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Date: August 1st, 2012 11:55 PM Author: Underhanded glittery round eye While there is a circuit split on the issue, the law is clearly X. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21237822) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:01 AM Author: smoky adulterous nursing home degenerate (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21237868) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:59 AM Author: naked pea-brained volcanic crater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238432) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:00 AM Author: Judgmental Party Of The First Part Menage i'm not allowed to use the word while to begin a sentence like that (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238450) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:06 AM Author: passionate indigo roast beef ratface lol at biglaw being a middle school english class
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:08 AM Author: Judgmental Party Of The First Part Menage not biglaw. i actually would really like to do briefs for someone who i think is a better writer than me (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238507) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:50 AM Author: Underhanded glittery round eye Search for "ly"
Take out all those words.
Shorten any sentence that goes beyond a second line of text.
For opening briefs:
We win for three reasons: A, B, C.
Lay out discrete arguments for A, B, C including anticipating obvious arguments as to why you don't win.
Answering briefs should look like this:
Opposing party argues three things: X, W, Z. As shown below, OP is wrong for A, B, C reasons.
OP argues X. OP is wrong because law says A. Law applies to the facts here the same as A case. See, I told you, OP is wrong.
OP argues Y. OP is wrong because facts are B. The facts are not like Y because .... See, I told you, OP is wrong and we win.
Plaintiffs argue X. Op is wrong because the law is C and because the facts are C. discuss. See, I told you. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:31 PM Author: cracking sapphire sweet tailpipe like a senior desperately clinging to life, xoxo manages to wheeze out just a little bit of usefulness. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21240852) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 11:25 PM Author: Judgmental Party Of The First Part Menage i do a lot of that. not the first two always. i try to vary sentence length but i don't know if each sentence is always less than two lines of text (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21246136) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:43 AM Author: Underhanded glittery round eye I write briefs like a fourth grader.
Good lawyers love them, bad lawyers add adverbs and superfluous clauses to my short easy to understand sentences. The only time I wrote a brief that was difficult to understand was when I knew we were fucked. I was so obtuse, the judge bought my argument and we survived a motion to dismiss. The partner I normally work for, who was not on the case, read it and said "what happened"? this is impossible to understand. My response: if the judge understands it, we lose.
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:47 PM Author: Galvanic Theater Stage "My response: if the judge understands it, we lose."
I've been there a time or two. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:06 AM Author: Bateful gaping what the fuck is wrong with partners. i see them shoving shit like clearly and obviously into briefs all the time. if something is clear, show that it is clear. if opposing counsel is being a fucking asshole, show that he is being a fucking asshole. but dont SAY IT. it's unseemly and does nothing to advance your point.
yet almost all biglaw briefs contain this kind of conclusory language by the handfuls. fuck boomers. |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:18 AM Author: Bisexual pisswyrm sanctuary Summer here. Average day is 930-430 with a 2 hr lunch inbetween. Probably bill about 2.5 a day. Cop dat $3000 every week. umad? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238905) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:24 AM Author: Dull parlour Your post might be the worst in xo history.
1. Bragging about an SA, just fucking lol
2. Bragging about your income which simply partially offsets your debt, just fucking lol
3. The kicker is your obvious lie about being a biglaw SA in the first place |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:33 AM Author: Bisexual pisswyrm sanctuary tso mad faggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238944) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:49 AM Author: Dull parlour I work for and summered at two firms much better than your sweaty butthole (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239009) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:51 AM Author: Bisexual pisswyrm sanctuary lol at cravathfaggot (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239019) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:53 AM Author: Dull parlour What kind of idiot even makes this comment or acts as if they are so ptestigious they would consider nothing less than Wachtell or a Roberts' clerkship? Give me a break (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239033) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:55 AM Author: Bisexual pisswyrm sanctuary dude are you jewish? you sound like it (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21239041) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:05 PM Author: Heady brindle orchestra pit "I work for and summered at two firms much better than your sweaty butthole"
???
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Date: August 3rd, 2012 10:23 AM Author: Erotic sienna stead queen of the night Yeah, what does that riposte even mean? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21248842) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 2:21 AM Author: Dull parlour Do you assume you were somehow different? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21238911) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 8:49 AM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested No, but that doesn't change how much I hate them.
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:17 PM Author: charismatic resort pistol OP- thoughts on this V50 SA?
http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=190657
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 12:18 PM Author: primrose doobsian corn cake poor flame (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21240682) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:40 PM Author: Coral adventurous idea he suggested Pretty terrible flame.
Although, I did overhear one SAs (from SLS) make a remark that the attorneys should be nicer to the SAs, because they might be smarter than we are.
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 1:34 PM Author: Wonderful Bronze Step-uncle's House (it is 2005) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21241485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2012 3:51 PM Author: clear aromatic digit ratio coffee pot you have summers? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21242416) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2012 1:12 AM Author: smoky adulterous nursing home degenerate if you ever decide to quit, see if you can hold out until summer. wait until the SAs arrive and then make a huge fucking scene when you quit. destroy your desk. shout obscenities at people. make security drag you out of the building kicking and screaming. do all of this right in front of them, it would be pretty lulzy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21247527) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2012 1:13 AM Author: concupiscible rambunctious clown NIGGER! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21247531) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2012 1:16 AM Author: Dull parlour I haven't really hated my stub year, probably thanks to xo, only because I knew what to expect. Meritocracy is lost in academia where subjective impressions rule which is completely pathetic. I feel grunt work and seeing the endgame of a potential lateral to partnership or even the slight prospect of partnership is the best strategy. Biglaw is terrible, but lately my work is not only increasing, but becoming more important. It feels good when people actually want to here your thoughts about something. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2011389&forum_id=2#21247548) |