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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| Alcoholic International Law Enforcement Agency | 08/03/13 |
| Cowardly jew | 08/02/13 |
| Vibrant hell | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| Vibrant hell | 08/02/13 |
| Adventurous claret bawdyhouse | 08/02/13 |
| gay clown range | 08/02/13 |
| irradiated tank ticket booth | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| irradiated tank ticket booth | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| irradiated tank ticket booth | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| Light charismatic chad boiling water | 08/02/13 |
| turquoise titillating stage son of senegal | 08/02/13 |
| mischievous macaca | 08/02/13 |
| bistre swashbuckling nursing home dingle berry | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/03/13 |
| dull galvanic crackhouse pozpig | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug | 08/02/13 |
| crimson cuckold | 08/02/13 |
| Cowardly jew | 08/02/13 |
| doobsian supple goyim location | 08/03/13 |
| zippy brindle travel guidebook theater | 08/04/13 |
| mewling contagious pisswyrm | 05/15/18 |
| Mega Penis | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: Alcoholic International Law Enforcement Agency 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: Cowardly jew yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: Vibrant hell I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: Vibrant hell *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: Adventurous claret bawdyhouse is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: gay clown range it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: irradiated tank ticket booth I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: irradiated tank ticket booth I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: irradiated tank ticket booth or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: Light charismatic chad boiling water lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: turquoise titillating stage son of senegal this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: mischievous macaca I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: bistre swashbuckling nursing home dingle berry this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: dull galvanic crackhouse pozpig Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: Histrionic glassy antidepressant drug I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: crimson cuckold The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Cowardly jew i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: doobsian supple goyim location An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: zippy brindle travel guidebook theater Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: mewling contagious pisswyrm (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: Mega Penis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2#49982780) |