Someone explain World War 1
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 15th, 2014 6:02 PM Author: Fishy Hissy Fit Associate
retards scuffling
verzögerungen raufen
attardé qui se bagarre
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2544163&forum_id=2#25388703)
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Date: April 15th, 2014 6:35 PM Author: Provocative Organic Girlfriend Garrison
Austria Hungary was MAF about heir to the throne getting capped and thought it was a good chance to beat up on Serbia. Russia however wanted to defend Serbia and backed them up. Germany was allied to Austria and so it expected to get drawn in as well.
What makes this spiral into a huge war is that Germany was paranoid about getting stuck in an I winnable two-front war with Russia and its ally France. So, their war plans called for beating France super-quickly and then focusing on Russia. Their plan was based on speed above all else, which had two consequences: First, it made them trigger-happy as fukkk because they didn't want to be behind even one hour in mobilizing their troops. Second, it made them decide that smashing through Belgium was a worthwhile venture since it would speed their advance and let them outflank the French.
An important element of all this was that the military in Germany (and other countries, but especially and most importantly Germany) thought war would be decided by whatever country could mobilize and attack the fastest, because that's what decided the Franco-Prussian War.
Attacking Belgium gave Britain a casus belli on Germany. There was genuine pro-Belgium sentiment, but another key factor was British fear of Germany's rise. Germany had more people and industry than Britain and was building a huge navy that had no purpose but to threaten them. This had caused them to leave their isolationist stance and align with France, and allowed them to get sucked in along with the whole Commonwealth.
Most people expected a short war decided by the fastest attacker but of course that didn't happen, and as the conflict continued each side got more grandiose in its vision for the postwar era in order to justify the expense and human losses. This vision included both plain territorial gains as well as ideas like new independent states and a League of Nations which would prevent a recurrence.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2544163&forum_id=2#25388883) |
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Date: April 15th, 2014 6:37 PM Author: shimmering bawdyhouse philosopher-king
more interesting version:
If WWI was a bar fight
Nov 20th 2010, 17:36 by E.L.
Timekeeper
EUROPEAN history can be rather gloomy. But this sort of thing livens it up (apologies if it's bien connu—it's new to me).
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.Austria Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Austria Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2544163&forum_id=2#25388897) |
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Date: April 15th, 2014 6:42 PM Author: Sable Sickened Heaven Mother
>hat makes this spiral into a huge war is that Germany was paranoid about getting stuck in an I winnable two-front war with Russia and its ally France. So, their war plans called for beating France super-quickly and then focusing on Russia. Their plan was based on speed above all else, which had two consequences:
This is a pretty common narrative, but it's way overblown. It's true that this plane existed in Germany before the war, but the German high command wasn't committed to it the way people think they were. They just thought it was the starting point for their strategy, and after the battle of the Frontiers and some victories near Belgium they decided to abandon the core principles of the plan to pursue other strategies. After the war German generals that wanted to protect their reputations blamed Hermann von Moltke for doing this and argued that it was his fault Germany lost the war. It was this post hoc blame game that created the narrative about Germany's supposed strategy.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2544163&forum_id=2#25388924) |
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