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Rate the grammar and syntax of this sentence in The New Yorker

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/rehabilitation-calif...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
bad writing.
Greedy Forum
  10/22/14
...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
4.5/10 http://comm.stanford.edu/first-daniel-pearl-intern...
Greedy Forum
  10/22/14
lol can't believe this dumb-bitch got into Stanford
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
"She is from Mercer Island, Washington." FYI, t...
Self-centered titillating lodge
  10/22/14
when did she graduate? she seems under 30, and to be writing...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
if you didn't know going into it where daniel pearl worked, ...
ungodly preventive strike
  10/22/14
*poor
razzle corner
  10/22/14
Did you see the legit typos in the NYT recently? Crazy.
Self-centered titillating lodge
  10/22/14
180 very evocative
Boyish Hospital Persian
  10/22/14
that emdash is longer than the rest of the sentence
Carnelian hyperactive location
  10/22/14
what comes after the emdash ("and many rich people"...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
this guy was like hey let's put the sentences inside other s...
Carnelian hyperactive location
  10/22/14
...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
Sometimes that can be an effective writing technique -- and ...
Self-centered titillating lodge
  10/22/14
The author in the OP doesn't know how to use it
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
I agree that she doesn't -- millennials usually ignore stand...
Self-centered titillating lodge
  10/22/14
180
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
Oh SHOWER me with your effortless emdash aptitude, grammarPI...
Rambunctious lime hissy fit
  10/22/14
...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/23/14
Rofl
cruel-hearted knife
  11/24/14
Tbf isn't this more a SYNTAXPIG thing
cruel-hearted knife
  11/24/14
PWN! PWN! PWN!
poppy racy house background story
  11/24/14
...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
...
multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area
  10/22/14
...
poppy racy house background story
  11/24/14


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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:31 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/rehabilitation-california-ballot-propositions

"The state has an exceptionally progressive tax structure—wealthy people, who disproportionately pay capital-gains taxes, have especially high income-tax rates—and many rich people."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563705)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:34 AM
Author: Greedy Forum

bad writing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563714)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:34 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563717)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:37 AM
Author: Greedy Forum

4.5/10

http://comm.stanford.edu/first-daniel-pearl-intern-chosen-vauhini-vara/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563723)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:38 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

lol can't believe this dumb-bitch got into Stanford

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563730)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:47 AM
Author: Self-centered titillating lodge

"She is from Mercer Island, Washington."

FYI, this is a suburban area filled with strivers and Jews. No surprise there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563770)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:48 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

when did she graduate? she seems under 30, and to be writing on The New Yorker, that's pretty impressive. Although her prestige is only in that she writes for The New Yorker, but not for her prose, which sucks balls.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563775)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:51 AM
Author: ungodly preventive strike

if you didn't know going into it where daniel pearl worked, her blurb at the bottom would be a great darkly ironic vignette. four paragraphs about how important it is to her to tell the stories of the common man and the proletariat, leading up to her humble acceptance of an internship at the fucking wall street journal. i mean, christ. everyone at elite schools who isn't going to be a doctor or a STEM PhD should be gassed

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563786)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 10:59 AM
Author: razzle corner

*poor

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26564599)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:37 AM
Author: Self-centered titillating lodge

Did you see the legit typos in the NYT recently? Crazy.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563724)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:37 AM
Author: Boyish Hospital Persian

180 very evocative

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563727)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:39 AM
Author: Carnelian hyperactive location

that emdash is longer than the rest of the sentence

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563736)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:41 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

what comes after the emdash ("and many rich people") makes this sentence a rancid TTT.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563742)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:45 AM
Author: Carnelian hyperactive location

this guy was like hey let's put the sentences inside other sentences like nesting dolls and connect them all with emdashes

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563758)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 3:46 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563765)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 4:00 AM
Author: Self-centered titillating lodge

Sometimes that can be an effective writing technique -- and when I say effective I mean it looks good and can convey a certain meaning to the reader -- but it frequently just confuses and obfuscates the main point the writer is trying to convey.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563810)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 4:03 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

The author in the OP doesn't know how to use it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563819)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 4:05 AM
Author: Self-centered titillating lodge

I agree that she doesn't -- millennials usually ignore standard grammatical rules in favor of shortcuts typical among their tech-savvy generation -- and it hurts the overall article.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563823)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 4:05 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26563825)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 11:03 AM
Author: Rambunctious lime hissy fit

Oh SHOWER me with your effortless emdash aptitude, grammarPIG!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26564631)



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Date: October 23rd, 2014 12:42 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26569433)



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Date: November 24th, 2014 8:56 AM
Author: cruel-hearted knife

Rofl

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26784445)



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Date: November 24th, 2014 8:56 AM
Author: cruel-hearted knife

Tbf isn't this more a SYNTAXPIG thing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26784447)



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Date: November 24th, 2014 8:57 AM
Author: poppy racy house background story

PWN! PWN! PWN!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26784450)



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Date: October 22nd, 2014 10:53 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26564562)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2014 10:59 AM
Author: multi-colored vengeful boltzmann area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26564598)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 24th, 2014 8:42 AM
Author: poppy racy house background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2706459&forum_id=2#26784405)