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very sad (or sick!) to see shitlib women furiously masturbate to Handmaid's Tale

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to ...
Excitant principal's office cuckoldry
  04/30/18
lmfao
yellow therapy ladyboy
  04/30/18
Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness
Balding Forum Dingle Berry
  04/30/18
...
passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza
  06/09/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  10/13/20
...
Self-centered Alcoholic Hairy Legs Cuck
  10/28/21
...
Histrionic School Cafeteria Laser Beams
  04/30/18
...
fragrant hateful ticket booth brethren
  04/30/18
WOKE AS FUK
Splenetic Turquoise Parlor
  04/30/18
...
bright apoplectic giraffe
  06/24/18
this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Ri...
Primrose round eye mad cow disease
  06/24/18
...
thriller milky base preventive strike
  06/24/18
...
sepia elastic band dopamine
  06/24/18
...
slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference
  10/28/21
180 Joyce
Chocolate Public Bath Black Woman
  06/24/18
unadulterated 180
flirting crackhouse
  06/24/18
...
Pontificating box office
  06/24/18
...
at-the-ready stage national security agency
  06/24/18
"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flam...
Excitant principal's office cuckoldry
  06/09/19
YUP. It’s like they got bored of Trump references (...
passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza
  06/09/19
...
scarlet tanning salon
  06/09/19
this OP is seriously a masterpiece
yellow therapy ladyboy
  06/09/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  06/09/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  12/01/21
...
Floppy kitty cat messiness
  08/24/25
i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah
puce faggotry institution
  06/09/19
this has aged exceedingly well
flirting crackhouse
  06/09/19
...
passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza
  06/09/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  06/10/19
...
black haunting macaca
  06/10/19
you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly w...
Bateful crimson regret
  06/10/19
cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u ju...
Jade Stage
  06/10/19
pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go her...
Bateful crimson regret
  06/10/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  06/10/19
18000
Cream Stirring Garrison Liquid Oxygen
  06/10/19
megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous th...
Adventurous carmine nursing home
  06/10/19
John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago. ...
Galvanic doctorate
  06/10/19
Holy shit, this is great "Handmaid’s Tale is mea...
Slippery Bat-shit-crazy Ratface
  06/10/19
also lol @ VCR.
Galvanic doctorate
  06/10/19
This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo ...
Slippery Bat-shit-crazy Ratface
  06/10/19
This guy is an XO Ted level visionary
black haunting macaca
  06/10/19
...
big sooty knife casino
  06/10/19
...
black haunting macaca
  06/10/19
lol, whoa
big sooty knife casino
  06/10/19
holy shit "And in the meantime, what has Atwood&rsqu...
big sooty knife casino
  06/10/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  06/10/19
...
black haunting macaca
  06/10/19
whoa cr
Spectacular marketing idea brunch
  06/10/19
...
pale location
  06/10/19
this is an amazing article
Jade Stage
  01/23/20
!!!
slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference
  10/28/21
"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat" ...
citrine yarmulke
  06/10/19
...
pale location
  06/10/19
“No one wants to force middle-class American women to ...
black haunting macaca
  06/10/19
The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though th...
Galvanic doctorate
  06/10/19
...
big sooty knife casino
  06/10/19
whoah
Jade Stage
  06/10/19
...
Electric sick property
  06/10/19
holy shit
Spectacular marketing idea brunch
  06/10/19
holy fuck
yellow therapy ladyboy
  06/10/19
Cot damn
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  06/10/19
...
mint station
  05/09/21
!!!
slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference
  10/28/21
this is scholarship
razzle-dazzle step-uncle's house filthpig
  10/24/24
fatality
Lavender self-absorbed corn cake school
  06/10/19
...
scarlet tanning salon
  06/10/19
Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?
passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza
  06/15/19
...
big-titted comical cumskin point
  10/28/21
...
slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference
  10/28/21
this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing: THE ...
big-titted comical cumskin point
  10/28/21
Lmao is this really the story of the show?
Swollen sex offender
  06/10/19
...
Chocolate Public Bath Black Woman
  06/10/19
...
multi-colored headpube old irish cottage
  06/10/19
...
disturbing emerald newt foreskin
  06/10/19
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  01/23/20
...
scarlet tanning salon
  01/23/20
...
amber electric furnace
  01/23/20
...
Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage
  12/01/21
...
Spectacular marketing idea brunch
  12/01/21
...
Magical really tough guy
  12/01/21
This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like b...
Brilliant Diverse Center
  07/01/22
...
Brilliant Diverse Center
  10/01/23
...
Brilliant Diverse Center
  02/20/24
...
Brilliant Diverse Center
  10/24/24


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:23 AM
Author: Excitant principal's office cuckoldry

ohhhhh i can't believe how timely this is what a warning to women trying to survive in trump's america so many parallels to modern america i'd never let something like that happen jonah and i already have plans to run away to canada i'd get right in those soldiers faces and tell them they can't oppress my body of course they would try to force me to be a handmaid a very powerful commander would claim me and his wife would not be as hot as me but i'd struggle i'd struggle oh yes even though they would overpower me and he'd ravage me with his big commander cock he'd pound me and pound me and there'd be nothing i could do oh no oh no but i'd scratch and claw except his wife would hold me down that bitch she'd resent me for making him cum in my womb and give him beautiful children he'd sneak me goodies and treats and show me off at jezebels that sick patriarchal bastard but jonah wouldn't be able to find me i'd have to move on and be strong and live for me and my children and eventually i'd seduce the commander so good that he helps me become his real wife and we'd have the power then so i could help people fuck trump for trying to put this in practice pretty much an owners manual for him and pence those fuckers they'll never get to fuck me

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:28 AM
Author: yellow therapy ladyboy

lmfao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949690)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:30 AM
Author: Balding Forum Dingle Berry

Its like some William Faulkner level stream of conciousness

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949706)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:28 PM
Author: passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38365108)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 13th, 2020 12:49 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#41103220)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 5:28 AM
Author: Self-centered Alcoholic Hairy Legs Cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43342786)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:31 AM
Author: Histrionic School Cafeteria Laser Beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949712)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:33 AM
Author: fragrant hateful ticket booth brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: Splenetic Turquoise Parlor

WOKE AS FUK

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#35949749)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:47 PM
Author: bright apoplectic giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303022)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:48 PM
Author: Primrose round eye mad cow disease

this is scholarship of the highest order. you are now Sir Risten.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303030)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:50 PM
Author: thriller milky base preventive strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303036)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:56 PM
Author: sepia elastic band dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303065)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:18 AM
Author: slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43342024)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:53 PM
Author: Chocolate Public Bath Black Woman

180 Joyce

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303053)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:57 PM
Author: flirting crackhouse

unadulterated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303071)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 7:58 PM
Author: Pontificating box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303081)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 24th, 2018 8:05 PM
Author: at-the-ready stage national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#36303131)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:31 PM
Author: Excitant principal's office cuckoldry

"Binders full of women" in latest episode not flame

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364783)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:29 PM
Author: passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza

YUP.

It’s like they got bored of Trump references (did you also catch the lesbian refugee demanding not to be separated from the unrelated infant she was carrying?) and so decided to throw in a Romney dig for old time’s sake.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38365120)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:32 PM
Author: scarlet tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364791)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:36 PM
Author: yellow therapy ladyboy

this OP is seriously a masterpiece

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364811)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:40 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364852)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 1st, 2021 2:31 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43540325)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 24th, 2025 11:59 AM
Author: Floppy kitty cat messiness



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#49208954)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:39 PM
Author: puce faggotry institution

i'm guessing OP's name IRL is jonah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364835)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 10:52 PM
Author: flirting crackhouse

this has aged exceedingly well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38364924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2019 11:30 PM
Author: passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38365122)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:01 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38366924)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:40 PM
Author: black haunting macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368355)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 12:05 PM
Author: Bateful crimson regret

you're playing to your audience, fine, but this is clearly written by a man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38366957)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Jade Stage

cr. "cock," "pound." but sometimes u just let it slide you know?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368292)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:34 PM
Author: Bateful crimson regret

pure praise would mean his talent has nowhere else to go here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368687)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:16 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368206)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:28 PM
Author: Cream Stirring Garrison Liquid Oxygen

18000

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368272)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:29 PM
Author: Adventurous carmine nursing home

megan mcardle i think had a good column on how ridiculous the handmaid's tale is happening! meme is

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2017-04-25/no-the-handmaid-s-tale-is-not-unexpectedly-timely

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368275)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:33 PM
Author: Galvanic doctorate

John Dolan wrote the GOAT POTUS review... twenty years ago.

http://exiledonline.com/old-exile/vault/books/review103.html

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368294)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:37 PM
Author: Slippery Bat-shit-crazy Ratface

Holy shit, this is great

"Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368320)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:38 PM
Author: Galvanic doctorate

also lol @ VCR.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368327)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: Slippery Bat-shit-crazy Ratface

This was written in 2000, but it fits in seamlessly with xo themes on GC and shrewdom. A true visionary.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368374)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: black haunting macaca

This guy is an XO Ted level visionary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368393)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:48 PM
Author: big sooty knife casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368400)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:41 PM
Author: black haunting macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368361)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:42 PM
Author: big sooty knife casino

lol, whoa

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368367)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:44 PM
Author: big sooty knife casino

holy shit

"And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale. "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368382)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368388)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:46 PM
Author: black haunting macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368391)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:11 PM
Author: Spectacular marketing idea brunch

whoa cr

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368548)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:01 PM
Author: pale location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368821)



Reply Favorite

Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:16 AM
Author: Jade Stage

this is an amazing article

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#39475589)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:14 AM
Author: slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43341991)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: citrine yarmulke

"wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat"

imo this guy should get credit for identifying the modern shrew

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368399)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: pale location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368816)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:45 PM
Author: black haunting macaca

“No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-col”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368389)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: Galvanic doctorate

The eXile was an early dose of REDPILL for me even though the writes are all lefty degenerates.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368394)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:47 PM
Author: big sooty knife casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368397)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:58 PM
Author: Jade Stage

whoah

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368476)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:09 PM
Author: Electric sick property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368537)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:12 PM
Author: Spectacular marketing idea brunch

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368558)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:46 PM
Author: yellow therapy ladyboy

holy fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368731)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:28 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage

Cot damn

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368965)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 9th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: mint station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#42430424)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43341997)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 24th, 2024 11:17 PM
Author: razzle-dazzle step-uncle's house filthpig

this is scholarship

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#48237594)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 4:05 PM
Author: Lavender self-absorbed corn cake school

fatality

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368513)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 5:56 PM
Author: scarlet tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38369105)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 15th, 2019 2:37 PM
Author: passionate bipolar fortuitous meteor plaza

Does this guy have any thoughts on MAGA?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38393148)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:05 AM
Author: big-titted comical cumskin point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43341948)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 12:15 AM
Author: slap-happy beady-eyed athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43342001)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 28th, 2021 3:46 AM
Author: big-titted comical cumskin point

this is so damn good I'm copy pasting the whole thing:

THE WINNER OF THE MARK DAVID CHAPMAN LITERARY PRIZE:

#1: Canadian Women ou Les Hoes Canucqois

By John Dolan

Just as I was finishing this column naming Margaret Atwood the Queen of Dunces, I heard she’d won this year’s Booker Prize. Once again, the mainstream press tries to scoop the eXile! There must be a leak somewhere in our ranks. Luckily, we have a roof which specializes in closing leaks, no matter how many fingernails or bamboo slivers it takes. Besides, what a transparent ploy, giving the Booker to Atwood! Atwood IS the Booker; she incarnates it; how can you award it to her? It’s like giving the Nobel to Nobel. Atwood is the prototype of the vaguely leftist, mainstream-feminist Commonwealth novelist for whom the Booker is reserved. Her name is legion: Barbara Kingsolver, Keri Hulme, Nadine Gordimer—these are her handmaids. Kingsolver, nominally American; Hulme, Kiwi; and Gordimer, South African white; all these are drawn like honking geese toward Atwood’s Kanada, spiritual home of all moderate-progressive white folk.

Kanada is the destination of Offred, the heroine of The Handmaid’s Tale, when she flees the Fundamentalist-ruled US. The notion that the Canadian border constitutes sanctuary might seem somewhat risible, since Ontario had considerable trouble repelling an 1867 invasion by forty-odd drunken Fenians armed with broken bottles and sticks. But Atwood refers here, not to a mere traffic jam full of Torontans smuggling home cheap VCRs, but a border between spiritual realms. Hers is a higher Canada, which exists among virtuous, slightly dim middlebrows everywhere in the world. This Greater Canada stretches from the two-square-meter bedrooms of ESL teachers in Kyoto to the jacuzzis of billionaire “progressives” in Malibu.

The scare-stories with which Atwood frigs her readers are distinguished by their foolish irrelevance. Take this alleged masterpiece, The Handmaid’s Tale. A foolish book, it depicts Hell as imagined by an anglo-Canadian mandarin: America ruled by savage uncultured Christians who not only repress all intellectual freedoms but would probably cut funding for genteel novelists. Worst of all, women in this Republic of Gilead are valued solely for their ability to bear children, restricted to the house and excluded from economic activity.

No one who knows anything about the way America works would ever really think that its rulers would want to let silly gender prejudices keep them from creating new consumers, much less let religion get in the way of productivity. The Baptist loonies are suckers to be wooed in election years, no more. They are useful as janitors in peacetime, cannon-fodder in war. Making them into the rulers of a nightmare vision of America is, by a charitable estimation, very naive. If we were to consider it less charitably, it might seem downright suspect. Atwood, who shares about 99.9% of her DNA with America’s real rulers, cannot see them at all, and so fails to notice their hegemony. As she confessed in boasting about her achievement in Handmaid’s Tale, she borrowed horror-stories about the treatment of women in loser countries like Iraq and applied them to the US. Apparently she could not see the horror which really does suffuse American life—a horror which has absolutely nothing to do with that losers’ club, Islam.

Handmaid’s Tale is meant to reassure every wretched office-worker who goes home to a cat, a VCR, and Pizza-for-one that her life is noble and progressive. Handmaid’s Tale is fun horror-fiction for women who work in the American-style cubicle-world precisely because it’s so utterly unrelated to the miseries and terrors of their own lives. No one wants to force middle-class American women to have babies. In fact, it’s almost impossible for them to contemplate having kids, because they’re terrified that it might set them back in their careers, and their rivals in the adjacent cubicles would grab their parking spaces and health plans. Nobody wants to use their bodies. That’s precisely the horror with which they live: no one wants to mate with them because in their world, every single striver must fear every other, and the sort of joint action involved in mating and rearing one’s young is impossible—laughable, a thing which only those who have abandoned the hope of A Career can contemplate. So in their minds, mating and rearing children moves down in class, becoming a thing for rednecks and (though they’ll never say this part out loud) immigrants-of-color. The desire to have children gets bounced outside oneself, onto these lesser beings, and returns, courtesy of Atwood, in demonized form, as the tyranny of procreation, family values and the Patriarchy. It’s the horror they love to fear.

And in the meantime, what has Atwood’s Utopia done, in real political terms? It has managed to distract a whole generation of Americanized women from the real fear and awful loneliness of their office lives. In this way, Atwood’s Canada of the Spirit is, like its real-world counterpart, the good-cop tool, the quaking valet of its Vampire master, America. Atwood’s Canada offers no answer to the Americanized women whose only family is Allie MacBeal and her friends. After all, they’re not rednecks, they’re not Fundamentalists. In fact, the horrible lives of every woman who tries to live out Allie MacBeal is rendered noble by reading Handmaid’s Tale.

So the owners of the cubicles rejoice in the intra-cranial vacations their slaves take in Atwood’s astral Canada. Let them crusade against the Republic of Gilead. Let them invest their wretched slaves’ lives with nobility. The real Republic of Gilead is a matter of dividends, not religion. It would never let the religious obsessions of its cannon-fodder voters interrupt the real business of America—the business carried out in the cubicles. If Allie and Margaret can scatter a cheap glitter over the walls of the cubicles, all the better.

It seems horribly apt that Atwood should win the Booker on the day Bush assumes the presidency. Atwood’s pious, dimwitted, credulous female Canada is the perfect handmaid for Bush’s under-the-table America. Their union is blessed with new offspring every day, every hour. As the coral reefs crumble, the cubicles invade. And everywhere they breed, from Kuala Lumpur to Samara, volumes of Atwood appear like Gideon Bibles at the desks of the corporate handmaids, telling them their lives are blessed.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43342614)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2019 3:32 PM
Author: Swollen sex offender

Lmao is this really the story of the show?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368289)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:15 PM
Author: Chocolate Public Bath Black Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368575)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:35 PM
Author: multi-colored headpube old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368690)



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Date: June 10th, 2019 4:59 PM
Author: disturbing emerald newt foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#38368814)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#39475560)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: scarlet tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#39475562)



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Date: January 23rd, 2020 10:13 AM
Author: amber electric furnace



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#39475565)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:11 PM
Author: Clear painfully honest useless brakes blood rage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43540168)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:12 PM
Author: Spectacular marketing idea brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43540180)



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Date: December 1st, 2021 2:35 PM
Author: Magical really tough guy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#43540344)



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Date: July 1st, 2022 10:43 AM
Author: Brilliant Diverse Center

This and the "inside a lady's head" one are like bookends.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#44778169)



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Date: October 1st, 2023 8:48 PM
Author: Brilliant Diverse Center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#46870785)



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Date: February 20th, 2024 2:45 PM
Author: Brilliant Diverse Center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#47420608)



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Date: October 24th, 2024 11:06 PM
Author: Brilliant Diverse Center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3963985&forum_id=2#48237576)