Basically I have until early December to shape up but she doesn’t think it’s likely

Main problem is she wants kids soon and doesn’t feel confident in my ability to cope so is worried that she can’t wait much longer

Here we goooo

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752292)

. But at the same time she feels like her life is on hold now and that she could be running out of time biologically

Which is ridiculous but she is from small redneck Mormon town (not Mormon herself) and most of the people she knew got married and had kids way sooner (like 22 or whatever)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752333)

But yeah I made the above poast full well knowing there are thousands if not millions of men (and women) who have said the same thing and been proven hilariously, humiliatingly wrong shortly thereafter, as though the whole universe realigned itself for a second to make you the butt of a Chaucerian cuckoldry joke

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752485)

You really need to start focusing all your efforts on yourself and looking better, feeling better. She needs to feel like you don’t care at all. Whatever happens happens. C’est la vie. You should even fire up a dating app and test your chances. Do it in front of her. Laugh, even when it hurts too much to laugh.

If you fall into a depressed mess, she’ll 100% be leaving and thinking she got out before it was too late. Women are idiots.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752549)

Sorry mpa she'll hopefully come around

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752313)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752488)

You have caused a ruckus and a calamity both by being single and poasting here. This will not do

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752316)

do it for the board

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752683)

Also I'd literally rather unknowingly marry a serial killer than knowingly marry a divorcé

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752386)

I used to just crash after work. Had to take another 5mg in the evening so i wasn't a total asshole.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752422)

I do have a script for an evening med but I often take it earlier in the day to help with focus

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752430)

I guess I’m worried that I didn’t take this shit seriously early enough because she has communicated about it but at the same time, I thought “who the fuck actually divorces over dishes etc?”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752441)

I’ve been working on that shit with a therapist and actually making good progress which is only reason I have any optimism

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752469)

If not then I’m already fucked so nothing to lose by trying to improve myself in the interim

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752504)

You'll be fine and all will work out - it's not a bad thing to improve yourself.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752528)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752547)

Find someone new

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752423)

Nope. Women’s brains just change after they get power. Getting out before kids would be a blessing because their power goes way up then (government mandated power because they know they can take you for alimony and child support and sympathy from family/friends). i guess find someone whose parents are still together so she has properly modeled relationships, but expect them to turn into a completely different and worse person once they have power regardless because this world is a Jewish hellscape where the societal incentives are all pushing for shattered families

Or try to make it work because women all suck, shrug

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752445)

1) have kids out of wedlock

2) have kids in a red state

3) have kids with a foreign woman in a foreign country

4) iron clad prenup

5) have kids with a woman whose parents are still married

But even then, uphill battle. I know a couple happy long-term married couples but it is rare

If already married, just suffer I guess

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752768)

pepper thy angus

I'm sorry you're going through this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752448)

Am positive more than anything else that she’s not/would never cheat, which i realize is the sort of thing that will probably get a million blank bumps two weeks from now when I poast a humiliating update—but if I had any suspicion of that it’d already be over

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752459)

Fuck

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752454)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752466)

And I need to be very clear with you.

Because you need a cold dose of reality.

This isn't batshit. She's telling you that she wants out. It's as rational as can be from a woman's perspective. You only think it's batshit because you are man, you made a vow and commitment and you've done nothing to wrong her, and you are having trouble understanding where this is coming from, given that you are the same person she married 15 months ago.

This marriage is over. Sorry you are going to have to deal with this. But it's over. Don't keep digging. Don't hold out hope that she will come around. Don't change who you are for her. It will never be enough. She will only find other things to be upset about. And God Forbid, if you introduce kids into this, she will foist that responsibility onto you and you will be stuck. You think it sucks now, stick it out for 2-3 more years and bring a newborn into it. Your life will be utter misery and if you are not willing to walk away now, you will not be willing to walk away while your kid(s) are young. Which means that you are looking a shitty home life until your early 50's.

Again, I am sorry that this is happening but your marriage is over.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752487)

I’m still in a bit of a denial phase but I appreciate the breakdown and a part of me feels the above is CR

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752491)

Also - I didnt pick up on the baby stuff.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752617)

It comes down to whether her claims really are valid at face value

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752618)

if you love her and want to be with her, then push through her resistance. start by asking her what the real problem is. you can't magically change being aspie, and she's smart enough to know that, so there's something else going on here

the actually worrisome part is that she wouldn't be talking about divorce if she didn't already have another guy in mind :-\ do you know who it is?

btw don't listen to these trolls who are saying your marriage is already over, jfc lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752526)

she just wants you to be more attractive, lol. this doesn't have to do with being "aspie" or "ADHD" at all. she literally just wants you to be a more attractive and alpha and high status man, in every sense. which is reasonable and doable

lift weights for the posture, be more disciplined with the wardrobe and ask her for her advice on it, bring her to social circles where you're seen as high status, be more physically assertive and affectionate when you're with her in the evenings and she needs attention. and stop going to "therapy" jfc. how could a woman ever take a man who goes to "therapy" seriously

you should have put this in this original post btw. this entire thread and everyone's comments in it are rendered completely irrelevant by this new information

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752543)

He needs to get in shape, stop being an awkward dork, stop dressing like his mom dressed him in 8th grade, maintain basic grooming standards, be someone that other men respect in social gatherings, etc.

The real issue is that she is embarrassed of him in public. Solution for OP: stop being embarrassing and beta. Stop making snarky backbiting comments like an effeminate soiboi redditor.

Even if the marriage ends, this is necessary for future relationships. Even geeky introverted girls who seem like a better match want a man to be assertive and masculine and capable.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46753457)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46772313)

Anyway, he held his ground mostly, and I guess she realized that she didn’t want her parents fucked up life / be a single mom (I’m guessing her mom was cheering on the divorce, which may have been a red flag) and they reconciled.

That being said he now maeks 7 figures so maybe try doing that as well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752612)

She just sounds like an are country tart who's getting too big for her britches

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752532)

And everyone saying fuck her for asking you to do dishes is not in touch with todays reality. You aren’t going to change what millennial women expect and you have to simply accept doing some things you think a man shouldn’t have to do (dishes, diapers, etc.)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752649)

Just gotta be masculine, bro

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46752696)

lol, height?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5399306&forum_id=2#46771025)