\
  The most prestigious law school admissions discussion board in the world.
BackRefresh Options Favorite

Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
aphrodisiac fighting property toaster
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
henna gunner meetinghouse
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
nofapping idea he suggested national
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
tantric titillating stage digit ratio
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
charismatic roommate temple
  04/30/21
...
Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
charismatic roommate temple
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
aphrodisiac fighting property toaster
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
charismatic roommate temple
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
aphrodisiac fighting property toaster
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
bistre yapping hospital macaca
  04/30/21
...
Lilac Menage Therapy
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
Passionate Garrison Main People
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
...
lemon wagecucks orchestra pit
  04/30/21
...
Big-titted translucent resort
  04/30/21
...
abnormal market
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
embarrassed to the bone self-centered generalized bond office
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Saffron principal's office
  04/30/21
...
Violet overrated stead
  04/30/21
...
appetizing bossy athletic conference
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
bespoke naked deer antler
  04/30/21
...
racy crotch pistol
  04/30/21
...
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
Mildly autistic parlor degenerate
  04/30/21
...
Insecure motley lay
  04/30/21
...
mustard disgusting locus elastic band
  04/30/21
...
lemon wagecucks orchestra pit
  04/30/21
...
useless gas station boltzmann
  04/30/21
...
racy crotch pistol
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
racy crotch pistol
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe
  04/30/21
...
Azure Brethren
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe
  04/30/21
...
Gold station pisswyrm
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Adventurous national security agency sound barrier
  04/30/21
...
apoplectic glittery patrolman
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
arrogant aggressive center
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
arrogant aggressive center
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
topaz weed whacker brunch
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
arrogant aggressive center
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
aphrodisiac fighting property toaster
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
territorial theater personal credit line
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
rambunctious old irish cottage background story
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe
  04/30/21
...
apoplectic glittery patrolman
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
Mildly autistic parlor degenerate
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Umber cruise ship
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Adventurous national security agency sound barrier
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Umber cruise ship
  04/30/21
...
charismatic roommate temple
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
appetizing bossy athletic conference
  04/30/21
...
Violet overrated stead
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Mischievous trailer park keepsake machete
  04/30/21
...
demanding stimulating point
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Red spot police squad
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker
  04/30/21
Wow
Red spot police squad
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker
  04/30/21
...
Insecure motley lay
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
aphrodisiac fighting property toaster
  04/30/21
...
exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth
  04/30/21
...
razzle area hominid
  02/22/22
...
Boyish House Chad
  06/22/22
...
Lilac Menage Therapy
  04/30/21
titcr.
apoplectic glittery patrolman
  04/30/21
180
exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth
  04/30/21
...
lemon wagecucks orchestra pit
  04/30/21
...
Azure Brethren
  04/30/21
holy shit
razzle area hominid
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
lemon wagecucks orchestra pit
  04/30/21
how
Adventurous national security agency sound barrier
  04/30/21
...
useless gas station boltzmann
  06/22/22
...
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
dashing frum son of senegal
  04/30/21
...
180 Hall
  04/30/21
...
Azure Brethren
  04/30/21
...
dashing frum son of senegal
  06/01/21
...
razzle area hominid
  02/22/22
this is incredible
dashing frum son of senegal
  02/22/22
...
razzle area hominid
  02/25/22
...
fantasy-prone wonderful church building
  05/04/22
wow
Boyish House Chad
  06/22/22
...
exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth
  06/22/22
...
sienna space turdskin
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
jet nursing home
  04/30/21
...
Gold station pisswyrm
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
fuchsia filthpig newt
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Navy Supple Kitchen
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
ruby haunted graveyard organic girlfriend
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
turquoise bipolar crackhouse
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
submissive pungent pervert range
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Dark excitant corner feces
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Azure Brethren
  04/30/21
...
razzle area hominid
  04/30/21
...
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker
  04/30/21
...
razzle area hominid
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
lake bearded round eye
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
What’s that
Floppy Splenetic School Cafeteria Affirmative Action
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
opaque heady fat ankles
  04/30/21
...
lemon wagecucks orchestra pit
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
diverse potus
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
diverse potus
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
odious milky sandwich
  04/30/21
I am gay
misanthropic lavender voyeur famous landscape painting
  04/30/21
great thread
Azure Brethren
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
Zombie-like fortuitous meteor
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
territorial theater personal credit line
  04/30/21
...
territorial theater personal credit line
  05/02/21
...
territorial theater personal credit line
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
opaque heady fat ankles
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
demanding stimulating point
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Cruel-hearted striped hyena business firm
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: aphrodisiac fighting property toaster

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: henna gunner meetinghouse

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: nofapping idea he suggested national

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: tantric titillating stage digit ratio
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: charismatic roommate temple

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: charismatic roommate temple

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: aphrodisiac fighting property toaster

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: charismatic roommate temple

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: aphrodisiac fighting property toaster

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: bistre yapping hospital macaca

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: Lilac Menage Therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Passionate Garrison Main People

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: lemon wagecucks orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Big-titted translucent resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: abnormal market



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: embarrassed to the bone self-centered generalized bond office

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Saffron principal's office

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Violet overrated stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: appetizing bossy athletic conference



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: bespoke naked deer antler

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: racy crotch pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Mildly autistic parlor degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Insecure motley lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: mustard disgusting locus elastic band



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: lemon wagecucks orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: useless gas station boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: racy crotch pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: racy crotch pistol

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Azure Brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Gold station pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Adventurous national security agency sound barrier

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: apoplectic glittery patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: arrogant aggressive center

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: arrogant aggressive center

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: topaz weed whacker brunch

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: arrogant aggressive center

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: aphrodisiac fighting property toaster

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: territorial theater personal credit line

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: rambunctious old irish cottage background story

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: Spectacular Pea-brained Location Giraffe

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: apoplectic glittery patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: Mildly autistic parlor degenerate

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Umber cruise ship

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Adventurous national security agency sound barrier

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Umber cruise ship

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: charismatic roommate temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376330)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: appetizing bossy athletic conference

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Violet overrated stead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376336)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Mischievous trailer park keepsake machete

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: demanding stimulating point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Red spot police squad

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Red spot police squad

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Insecure motley lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: aphrodisiac fighting property toaster

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: razzle area hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Boyish House Chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: Lilac Menage Therapy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: apoplectic glittery patrolman

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: lemon wagecucks orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Azure Brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: razzle area hominid

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: lemon wagecucks orchestra pit

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376708)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Adventurous national security agency sound barrier

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: useless gas station boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: dashing frum son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: 180 Hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Azure Brethren



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: dashing frum son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: razzle area hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: dashing frum son of senegal

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: razzle area hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: fantasy-prone wonderful church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Boyish House Chad

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: exhilarant alcoholic ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: sienna space turdskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: jet nursing home

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Gold station pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: fuchsia filthpig newt

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Navy Supple Kitchen

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: ruby haunted graveyard organic girlfriend

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376517)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: turquoise bipolar crackhouse

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: submissive pungent pervert range

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Dark excitant corner feces

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Azure Brethren

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: razzle area hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Lascivious circlehead candlestick maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: razzle area hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: lake bearded round eye

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Floppy Splenetic School Cafeteria Affirmative Action

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: lemon wagecucks orchestra pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: diverse potus

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: diverse potus

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: odious milky sandwich

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: misanthropic lavender voyeur famous landscape painting

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Azure Brethren

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: Zombie-like fortuitous meteor

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: territorial theater personal credit line

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: territorial theater personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: territorial theater personal credit line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: opaque heady fat ankles

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: demanding stimulating point

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: pearl step-uncle's house travel guidebook

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Cruel-hearted striped hyena business firm

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2.#49827363)