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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
provocative temple
  12/03/18
...
provocative temple
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Mind-boggling Up-to-no-good Dilemma Striped Hyena
  12/03/18
ty!
provocative temple
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Maize soggy station
  12/03/18
...
Fishy vibrant sandwich regret
  12/24/21
...
arousing white kitty
  12/03/18
...
diverse rigor sanctuary
  12/03/18
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brass supple lodge
  12/03/18
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cracking scarlet church building
  12/03/18
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Maize soggy station
  12/03/18
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provocative temple
  12/07/18
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Useless office
  12/07/18
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talented rebellious tank
  12/07/18
...
soul-stirring antidepressant drug cruise ship
  12/07/18
...
sapphire macaca
  12/07/18
...
provocative temple
  12/14/18
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Walnut site candlestick maker
  12/14/18
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provocative temple
  12/24/18
...
arousing white kitty
  12/24/18
...
vivacious dark nowag
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Deep dragon filthpig
  12/24/18
120
Razzle-dazzle locale sex offender
  12/24/18
...
provocative temple
  12/24/18
...
Razzle-dazzle locale sex offender
  12/24/18
...
sepia theater telephone
  12/24/18
...
provocative temple
  12/24/18
...
Irradiated pistol
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
marvelous hominid liquid oxygen
  12/24/18
...
provocative temple
  12/16/21
...
galvanic area
  12/24/18
...
nudist nighttime theater stage
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Transparent 180 House Water Buffalo
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
provocative temple
  07/01/19
...
arousing white kitty
  07/01/19
...
arousing white kitty
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
provocative temple
  12/10/19
getting close...
provocative temple
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
provocative temple
  12/24/19
...
Histrionic Godawful Orchestra Pit Crotch
  12/24/19
...
provocative temple
  12/24/19
...
Bateful ruby dingle berry
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Razzle Awkward Locus
  12/24/19
...
Lake french chef
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
marvelous hominid liquid oxygen
  12/24/19
lol
provocative temple
  12/24/19
This
Fishy vibrant sandwich regret
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
drab beady-eyed principal's office
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
provocative temple
  12/24/19
...
Orange Menage
  12/24/19
...
provocative temple
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
provocative temple
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Fishy vibrant sandwich regret
  12/24/19
...
provocative temple
  12/24/19
...
Multi-colored son of senegal
  12/24/19
...
provocative temple
  12/15/20
...
provocative temple
  12/23/20
...
Frum fragrant stage
  12/24/20
It's time.
provocative temple
  12/24/20
...
talented rebellious tank
  12/24/20
...
provocative temple
  12/16/21
...
sepia theater telephone
  12/16/21
...
Frum fragrant stage
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
provocative temple
  12/20/21
Lmao
Big glassy giraffe
  12/20/21
...
provocative temple
  12/22/21
...
Big glassy giraffe
  12/22/21
...
amber background story
  12/24/21
...
Fishy vibrant sandwich regret
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: provocative temple

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Mind-boggling Up-to-no-good Dilemma Striped Hyena

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: provocative temple

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Maize soggy station

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Fishy vibrant sandwich regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: arousing white kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: diverse rigor sanctuary



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: brass supple lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: cracking scarlet church building



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Maize soggy station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Useless office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: talented rebellious tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: soul-stirring antidepressant drug cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: sapphire macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Walnut site candlestick maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: arousing white kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: vivacious dark nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Deep dragon filthpig

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle locale sex offender

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Razzle-dazzle locale sex offender



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: sepia theater telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: Irradiated pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: marvelous hominid liquid oxygen

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: galvanic area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: nudist nighttime theater stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Transparent 180 House Water Buffalo

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: provocative temple

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: arousing white kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: arousing white kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: provocative temple

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: provocative temple

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: provocative temple

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Histrionic Godawful Orchestra Pit Crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Bateful ruby dingle berry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Razzle Awkward Locus

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Lake french chef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: marvelous hominid liquid oxygen

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: provocative temple

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Fishy vibrant sandwich regret

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: drab beady-eyed principal's office

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: provocative temple

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Orange Menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: provocative temple

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Fishy vibrant sandwich regret

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Multi-colored son of senegal



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Frum fragrant stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: provocative temple

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: talented rebellious tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: sepia theater telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Frum fragrant stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: provocative temple

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Big glassy giraffe

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: provocative temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Big glassy giraffe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: amber background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Fishy vibrant sandwich regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2.#49538935)